Leticia31

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Fast forwrd 11 years. I am 1 week post op from RNY revision from a 2008 Lap Band. I had my band for 10 1/2 years and had great success losing about 119 lbs from 256 to 137 at my lowest. I thought I had this healthy living down pat but I was wrong, so wrong. I lost all my weight in the first 3 years after banding and I became someone who loved trying new things and being active. I was the person I always felt I should be and so I honestly believed the happiness I felt with myself would keep me on a healthy path for the rest of my life. I was able to maintain my weightloss for another 5 years before I began letting that old negative person, I thought I had long  left behind, creep back into my world. I had some terrible things happen in my life that completely broke me down and demolished all the confidence that I had worked so hard to build up. I allowed my anxiety and depression to completely grab ahold of my life. I broke myself down by telling myself I was a failure and unworthy of happiness. What could be so wrong with me that I could have so many personal failures in my life? This allowed me to begin eating stuff I knew I shouldn't, but what the heck, my body likes where it's at, it's not gonna allow me to gain weight. Well it did, and I found myself 70 lbs heavier and completely unhappy and unhealthy, mentally and physically. I couldn't believe I had let happen exactly what I told myself I would never let happen again. After a lot of hard work and a lot of therapy, I found myself with the correct mindset to enact change. So, I decided to have my band removed in January for reflux reasons and had a revision to gastric bypass a week ago. So, here I go again, hopefully a little wiser and stronger than before. I choose to be positive about the future but also much more cautious with my mental health as well as my food choices. Hello to the OH family! and HERE'S TO SECOND CHANCES!!!    

Sometimes I'm crazy happy about the weight I've lost but sometimes I'm upset that I'm not at goal yet.  I still have about 20 lbs. to go.  It just seems to me that so many others have already lost all their weight in less time.
 
Anyway, I try to tell myself that I am lucky because I have good restriction and I can still eat pretty much everything.  I can eat pizza, pasta, rice, salad.  I just have to eat very slowly to avoid a stuck episode and I can only have a small amount for example 1 slice of pizza or a half cup of rice or pasta.  It's taught me to not obsess about food.  I can eat it, I just allow myself small amounts.  I even have dessert a few times a week!

I try to tell myself that I am not deprived and therefore do not have to overdo it when it comes to food.  My diet is so much healthier now and I exercise 5-6 days a week for 1-2 hours.  I feel great and I shouldn't compare my loss to other people.  We are all different.

On the bright side my loss has been slow but I have no excess skin and I am very toned from all the exercise and the weight is still coming off, just at a snails pace approx. 4 lbs. a month but I'll get there with time and effort.

Oh yeah, new haircut for new healthier body.  No need to hide behind hair anymore.  Feels good!


                      

I can't believe it.  I really did it!  It's been a slow process but I'm finally in the 100's again.  I have not been under 200 pounds for about 13 years now.  I get frustrated sometimes because the weight does'nt seem to come off as easy or as quick as I had hoped but evertime I reach a new milestone it gives me a renewed sense of hope for my goal of 150.  Only 48 pounds to go!  To date I have lost 58 pounds and I'm hoping that I'll hit my goal sometime this summer.  Would'nt that make for a great summer this year.  Even if I don't make it to goal this summer, I know I'll be looking and feeling tons better than last year.