I'm back

Jan 18, 2011

Been a year or two since I've been here, and I'm at the same place I was then.  Still can't stay under 200, but it is so much better than 365 or so.....  Having the surgery was one of the best and worse things I have done in my life.  Best because I feel better, and worst because I don't.  Seems that my 365 or so pounds supported a spine that was twisted and bulging and when that cushion was gone, I've been in constant pain ever since.  Surgery to correct that - NOPE - surgeon said too many levels for him to attempt.  Good - because I don't want another surgery for something that won't correct or cure the problem.  I've tried going back to the basics to lose again, but I just don't stick to it long enough - life gets in my way.  Too much stress - too many others that have to be taken care of.... When will I put my health and my goals first - maybe next week, or month, or year... Who knows?  God I suppose, but he's not letting me in on it...... Poor me.... blah, blah, blah!!!  Any ideas for keeping me on tract.... No follow up with Dr. Stegemann as I was lost in the shuffle of his group's changing location after location, and got tired of his staff not being able to code the visits correctly for him to get paid and got too expensive to pay for each visit out of pocket!!  Any ideas or recommendations are welcome!!

Long time

Aug 28, 2008

Gosh - it's been six months since I've added anything to my  profile.  Partially because I have changed jobs and just don't have the free time anymore, and partially because life has gotten so hectic for me, and partially because I have been having some problems.  Back in January I started having back pains - actually I thought it was my tail bone.  Started seeing a chiropractor and then stopped when I changed jobs.  So since January I have had pains.  Finally got a diagnosis about 6 weeks ago - its 2 herniated discs, an impinged nerve in the spine and arthritis to boot.  I have had 3 spinal steroid injections - all with no improvement in the pain, but hey - those darn injections had a positive side effect.  I've lost weight!!! I finally made it into onederland!!! This glorious place I have not see since I was 19 years old.... I turned 50 in June.... 31 years of being over 200 lbs.... I was so happy to get on the scale and see that most magical number... I just about cried with joy!!!   And now the scale has blessed me just a little further - I'm down to 197...WOOHOO...  Life continues to be good - other than the pain, but I can deal with that. I still would not go back to 350 lbs and not have the pain.  I feel so much better about myself than I ever have and would have the surgery all over again, even knowing that I was going to have the pain.  The physical therapist has said that when I was more  obese, my body had some stability with the fat. Now that the fat is gone, I have lost that stability and that is probably why I have so much pain. Oh well, I'll just have to learn to deal with the pain.... I'm not willing to go back!!!

As the World Turns

Mar 03, 2008

Well, it's been nine months now, I'm down about 134 lbs and I've been struggling to get back on track.  Christmas just about did me in - I had given up on ever getting where I want to be.  Finally came to the realization that I was self-defeating myself yet again.. None of this weight loss has been exceptionally easy - I've had to work at it - to keep on track... Now that I'm back on track, I've seen the scale start to move in the right direction again.  I had gained about 10 lbs, and man is it hard to lose the second time around.  But those pounds are gone, and I'm not going back that way!!! Today I'm starting the 5 day pouch test, just to see if I can fine-tune my pouch a little more.  I've been doing great for the last couple of weeks.  I've discovered that the more protein I get in the better off I am. Anything over 100 gm of protein and my body seems to respond.  I have my 9 month check up with Dr. Stegemann on Friday and really want to see if he has any ideas.  At 6 month check up he was not much help other than to tell me that because of the insulin I was on for several years, my body seems to be losing very slowly - YA THINK?? DUH... Maybe a visit with a nutritionist would help some, but most of my help has come from the Texas Message Board people. They are such a great support.  Guess I'll post more after my appointment.

Looking back....

Jan 09, 2008

Was just in my closet hanging up some clothes - and I saw my wedding dress hanging there.  I got married December 31, 2005.  So I decided to try the dress on (have only tried it on once since I started losing weight)... See my new photos I'm posting now.... On December 31, 2005 I wore a size 28 - TIGHT..... December 31, 2007 - I wore a size 18.... 10 sizes down and I'm 7-1/2 months post op.... WOW!!! I haven't been in a size 18 since I was in college and that was only for a very, very short time.... 

This is a very awesome journey, and I would do it again every day to have this feeling of euphoria that I have right now!!!! Almost made my husband cry when I walked in the living room with the dress on.... In my wedding pictures, you can see my feet because the dress was tight... Tonight I was having to kick the dress out in front of me to keep from tripping on it as it was so long.... WOOT WOOT...

New Year and the Journey continues

Jan 08, 2008

Well, I made it through the holidays.... not as well as I wanted to, I succumbed to temptation too much, and unfortunately, didn't dump at all... Did get a few heart palpitations though.... The good thing is I didn't eat a whole bag of candy - just a couple of pieces and that was enough. I did gain about 4 pounds since my last appointment with Dr. Stegemann.  Seems after he told me that my insulin was the reason for my slow weight loss - my brain and I decided that I was doomed for failure then...... I gave up..... Luckily for me, my husband, I think with the help of God - knocked some sense back into me and I realized what I was doing to myself.  Poor pitiful me - I'm not losing like everyone else, so I'm a failure!!!! BS.... I've never been like everyone else in my life - so why would this journey be any different??? So, I've sucked it up - made amends to myself for poor judgement and am repairing the errors in my way of eating.  The best part of that is that I finally got back on the scale this morning - I had shed the +4 lbs, and actually lost 4 more..... I'm down to 121!!! Holy cow!!! I was so pleased with myself... 

Exercise wise I've been slacking too.  Let my gym membership expire while my dad was in the hospital, and then my excuse was it's so far over there - I was doing it every day - but when you have to drive 70 miles a day to work and then to the gym - it is a bit much.  Started climbing stairs here at work 3 times a day - 7 flights - and may I say that my buns of steel are shaping up nicely!!!! I can really tell in the way my clothes fit.  Made a resolve last night to get back to doing something besides just the stairs, so hubby and I will start walking at the school track tonight.  

On to bigger losses for this year.  It's my choice, no one else can make the decisions for me!!!  I've been so very blessed to have been given this tool to make my life the quality that I now have.  I never would have dreamed that a year ago - about 110 lbs heavier - that I could be this size or even feel this good.  I feel good about myself - don't love myself yet, but I'm getting there.  If only my eyes could see what others seem to see in me.... I still see that 348 lb woman looking back at me most of the time....But as my husband says - "This too shall pass"....

And the scale has MOVED....

Dec 02, 2007

Its been several weeks, but I have finally seen movement in the scales again, and a big movement - for me at least.  I'm down 4 lbs since last week - now at 224 and 124 lbs lost FOREVER.... I began walking the stairs at work with a couple of coworkers.  We are doing 7 flights of stairs 3 times a day and then walking around the hospital each time.  Seems to be working - and working my butt off too.... I can tell the difference in my clothing and in how my butt aches at night...lol... 

I continue to have problems with constipation, and even made some Move 'em out muffins yesterday, but so far, nothing is moving out..... Guess I need to get back on my dieter's tea - that stuff really seemed to work.  I just forget to take the time in the evenings to make it and sit still long enough to drink it before heading to bed.  

Plans are to take pictures for our Christmas cards tonight, so hopefully I will get the DH to take my six month pictures tonight as well.  Need to get some new ones posted as the one showing now is my 4 month picture... 

Six Month Surgiversary

Nov 21, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving..... 
Today is my six month surgiversary... I'm down only 67 lbs since surgery, but 120 lbs since I started my WLS journey.  Had an appointment with Dr. Stegemann yesterday.  He stated that my weight loss was kind of slow, and we discussed my eating habits and exercise program.  When I told him that I had not taken any insulin in the last 4 months, he told me the most amazing fact.  ALL of his patients that were on INSULIN are SLOW LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now - he tells me... And that makes sense to me... So I'm not doing anything wrong!!! YEAH... I've worried for six months now why I'm not losing like I should be... Its the insulin/diabetes thing!!!!  I also discussed his philosophy on protein shakes and supplements, and just how much protein he thought I should have every day.... He doesn't like to add protein shakes - if I'm eating I should be getting enough protein on a daily basis.  And according to him, there is no "magic number" for the amount of protein needed, and although 60 gm is a good number, I shouldn't worry about getting that "exact" amount each day....
So for this Thanksgiving, I am so very thankful for this tool I have, that I have lost 120 lbs forever, I have a very supportive family and friends who keep me on the right track!!  Thanks to all my friends here on OH who have answered my questions and been so very supportive throughout this journey.

Another week.....

Oct 21, 2007

WOW.... I just realized, today I am 5 months out.... WOOHOO for me.... Guess that means that my DH will want to take pictures tonight - if he remembers......

At least the scales were kind to me this morning.  Lost the 2 lbs I put on last week plus another one.... -3 in a week - that's what I'm talking about!!!!  I need to get back to the gym, but that's not looking too promising this week.... So much going on, maybe I'll get started to exercising here at work, just have to get my mind set for that.  I really do miss exercising but life keeps getting in my way!!! No more excuses - just gotta do what I've gotta do - FOR ME....

Still the same!!

Oct 15, 2007

Been a couple of weeks since I posted here.  Things have not changed - again... The scale refuses to move in the downward direction.  Not sure what I am doing wrong... I've tried adding protein - and while that makes me feel better, the scales aren't showing any movement at all... And now I feel like the inches have stopped coming off as well.  I do have an appointment with Dr. Stegemann next month, actually a month from today so I suppose I'll just keep doing what I'm doing now and wait to see what he has to say... The Staplemates meetings are not giving me any support for issues I have, and I really don't know where else to turn for answers.  Just frustrated today because I read of all the other folks who are losing so much faster and seemingly without worry or care... I know, I know - can't compare myself to anyone else...just gets really hard sometimes when you want something to happen.  I know I didn't get where I was in one day and it won't go away in one day either. Okay, guess I've vented long enough. 

More changes

Sep 30, 2007

I'm 4 months out, and now my hair has decided to start falling out some.  I have been contemplating a haircut, so yesterday I did it... It's gone... First time my hair has been short in over 5 years.  My DH has never seen me with short hair, and fortunately for me, he likes it!!!  I got on the scales this morning (yes, it's a couple of days early, but oh well!) and they have moved again.  I'm down 3 more lbs!! And I know my hair didn't weigh that much!!!! LOL..... But I'll take it where I can get it..  In bible study this morning, we learned that God made changes "Little by little"... That's the way I'm losing my weight "little by little"..  Think this is going to be my new line...... If it was good enough for God, then by golly, it's good enough for me..... 

About Me
San Antonio, TX
Surgery Date
Jun 25, 2007
Member Since

Friends 19

Latest Blog 23
Long time
As the World Turns
Looking back....
New Year and the Journey continues
And the scale has MOVED....
Six Month Surgiversary
Another week.....
Still the same!!
More changes