Stress, Hormones, and....excitement? (Crazed Rantings)

May 03, 2011

So thank God I found out that I have to quit taking my birth control pills 30 days prior to surgery. My hope is to have surgery the first week or so of June so I stopped taking my pills on Saturday.....called the surgeon's office first thing Monday morning and yep....his nurse confirmed that I do indeed have to stop taking them due to the risk of blood clots. :rolleyes:Thing is, I don't take the pills for actual birth control (my tubes are tied) I take them for my PCOS and it has been like a durn miracle drug for me. No more feeling of the ice pick sticking in my side every month to where I have to take 3 days off and just lay on the heating pad eating ibuprofen like they are candy. It actually made me feel so calm inside...ahhh...unfortunately today was NOT a good day and I can feel the anxiety creeping up on me again...sigh...I keep telling myself that a few months of hell again now and years of great things afterwards.....ugh...I am NOT looking forward to getting my 'friend'. Work has been very crazy lately....after working there for almost two years we had not had any turnover until this past Dec...now it seems like everyone that I worked with on a daily basis (except for two people) are leaving or have left...I mean what the hell? I have finals next week at school, month end this week, AND we have to look for and train ANOTHER receptionist/A/P assistant....this is the 4th one in as many months....my (hopefully) last Dr's appt with my regular Dr is on Friday and I hope to find out then when my other appointments are...you know the one with the bariatric surgeon, nutritionist, cardiologist, and don't forget the seminar's. 180 days should be up on 5/22 so they should submit the paperwork to the insurance on 5/23....hopefully....I am excited but stressed and worried that everything won't go the way I want it to. Positive thinking...POSITIVE thinking...I will be SOOOOOO glad when this whole durn process is over...6 months of BS to get to this point....while I can admire the reasoning behind the 6th months of supervised visits and trying to weed out those that aren't serious or whatever it is they do it for, I am tired and I want my BIRTH CONTROL....lol! That sounds really odd but I felt SO freaking much better with them....I went YEARS with horrendous PMDD (seriously crazy) and cysts in my ovaries so bad I would actually vomit...and this coming from someone who had her daughter naturally with absolutely no pain meds and pitossin on top of it which make it SO much worse..I didn't scream, I didn't cry but I did say a very foul word when my daughters head hit my tail bone! I can take pain....but that stuff...wow...nothing like it...not even child birth. Just gotta make it the next 2 months....because I hear you can't take it for 30 days after either. THEN....during the active weight loss phase....more hormonal issues....it'll be worth it in the end...I can do this durn it! I have done everything else they have asked of me so far! I WILL do this! I am NINJA HAH! Well...not really a ninja....but will THINK like one....I will be one with the ninja and use my mind over matter....I. CAN. DO. IT!!!!! Sorry you guys had to witness my temporary mental break down....:wacko:Tomorrow will be one day closer to fulfilling my requirements for surgery!

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