lilmiss6678
Maybe not..
Jun 11, 2009
So, Last night I went out-sober to see a friend who used to stay with my past love all the time, he was like 3rd wheel and a wonderful friend! =) So- I see him last night we catch up he looks amazing and hes just the sweetest young man, so chill. and then dun dun dun J is there. and I am pretty sure we starte the night off totally ignoring eachother cold shoulders and small bumping into eachother saying sorry blah blah blah whatever- end of the night hes toasted and his NEW gf is not there and I am pretty sure we are talking about everything from our dogs together to the first time we met to i still love you's and Hell- what happened to all the feelings i have had of being over it and frustration? wtf mate. we texted some nonsense back and forth never made anything of it ofcourse. I just dont get it. im soo confused..Some guy i knew from HS (they were in the same grad class) was groping all over me and naturally i turned away into his arms and im all hello STUPID. dude was really wasted, but def in my personal space bubble. J got all protective like dude back off. she already told you no get out of here type of deal dude kept on and convo's got more intense for sure. well. here i am this morning, feeling like the place i worked sooo hard to be to be over him is 10 steps back and i just barely took 2 steps forward. i honestly believe he did love me, and sadly believe he does love me now. i am afraid after i lose all my weight again and look 'normal' he'll be ready to be with me and only me- or maybe he'll never only be with me or maybe hes just yappin and trying to ruin all my new relationships or potential ones.someone talk some sense into me. talk about relapse.. (and not the booze) (sooobbbeerrr only drank waaatteerr)
