linda11665

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Well I am getting a divorce.  Yup that sums that up.  Alot of factors played into this.  I am a different person.  I am more confident, and more sure of myself then I was five and half years ago.  But I do not regret one thing.  I am almost three years out, and still maintaining.  I still workout like a athlete.  I still watch what I eat, and drink.  Yes I have my "cheat days" but I usually follow that with healthy eating for the rest of the week.  So overall pretty good.  I am dealing with the "mourning" of a marriage/relationship.  But overall feeling pretty good.

 

Peace, love, health

luv

linda

Amazing!!! How time flies.  Two years and 148lbs later.  I still run, still do weights.  I pretty much challenge myself when it comes to workouts.  The harder the better.  I'm weird that way. 

Do I have any regrets.  Absolutely not!  The first year was how fast I could get all the weight off.  The second year was about keeping my workout regimen consistent.  Now, it's all about getting to know this person standing in front of the mirror.

I wasn't always an obese person.  I was a fit person, not skinny, but fit.  I never ever was the center of attention, I would hide from it.  It is the way I was.  Now, being fit and toned, I get alot of attention I am not used too.  Men staring at me. Men whistling at me. Men flirting with me.  All of it makes me very uncomfortable.  Not used to it. I have always been the one to hide in a corner or be the clown to hide my shyness.  The joker. Never thinking I was "good enough".

But now the journey, isn't about how much weight I can lose.  It's about getting to know that sexy woman looking back at me in the mirror.  And enjoying the attention that she gets from other men.  Mind you, I am happily married, and my husband is all the attention I like.  But I do enjoy the other attention that I am getting.  It's an ego boost.  My husband likes it too, because he gives the other men the look of "Ha she's going home with me" look.  LOL

I love shopping for clothes, shoes. (my mentors fault!) LOL  But it's enjoyable now.  Not "oh god why?" but enjoyable now.  I love it. 

Don't get me wrong, I have my moments where I miss my "comfort" food.  Not the actual food, the comfort I found in the food that I ate.  When I have those moments, I either change my mind by working out, or walking or something to stop me from eating something that I know cannot tolerate.  I am after all  a food addict.

So to the newbies, patients, it will come.  To the "vets" Thank You for all your help, wisdom, and patients.

Happy, healthy life

Linda

Wow how time flies when your having fun.  I did not run my 5 km, but I am working on it.  There are times when I am ready, but being a runner comes with issues.  Like tight muscles, pulled muscles, etc...But I am not giving up, it is one of the things on my "to do" list. 

 

I find though that I am not tolerating sucralose very well.  I drink a lot of flavored water, cause I cannot tolerate plain water, and in the flavored water there is sucralose.  I find there are days I am okay with it, and other days not.  But that comes with everything.

 

Other than that, I have had surgery to remove an internal hernia, and waiting to get another hernia removed.  With that surgery, I will have my panni removed at the same time.  Hernia's are normal after and before surgery.  They cut you open, so chances are you will get one.

 

Over all everything is great.  Still working out four to five days a week, running, weights.  I try to challenge myself so I try new things all the time.

 

Linda

I started my journey over two and half years ago. Saw where my life was headed health wise and was not too impressed. I was tired of being tired. I was tired of my life sucking me out every night. I was tired of coming home from a long day of work and just crashing on the couch and not doing anything. Then feeling depressed because I just ate a whole bag of chips or some kind of junk food. I was tired of looking at these skinny women and wishing that was me. I did not have high blood pressure, but suffer from low blood pressure. I did not have diabetes, but was on the verge of having it. I was also on the verge of having sleep apnea. I was diagnosed with the early stages of COPD, by the way, I never smoked a day in my life, and was told that if I did not change my life style and lose weight I was headed for a double lung transplant by the time I would be 50.   My family history of health issues is longer than my arm. My dad passed away at a young 60 years of age from a heart attach. He had chronic asthma, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. My mother has high blood pressure, diabetes, asthma due to her heavy smoking. A lot of other health issues that make her look like she is 95 years old when she is only 66 years old. My mother should be enjoying life, enjoying her grand kids, traveling, but instead she is house bound because she cannot walk due to severe osteoporosis. I do not want to have this happen to me.   My best friend was going through a journey herself. She decided to have the RNY which is Weight loss surgery. In the process she suffered a minor heart attack. Not because of the RNY, she was in the process of waiting for the surgery. When she finally had the surgery, a whole new confident person emerged. My mentor.   I knew getting the surgery done was not the answer or the quick fix everybody thinks it is. I had already made the decision about five years ago to have the surgery, I even had my date. Then I got scared. I was not ready at that time. But this time, I was. I started investigated all the different kinds of surgery there is. I also came to the conclusion that one of the many criteria’s for having the surgery was NOT therapy. Sure you meet a shrink, but it is just to see if you are able to have the surgery. I decided to have therapy as an on going thing. Because putting food to mouth was not the only reason why I put the weight on. I did not want to have this surgery and then fail at it. Oh boy no way.   In the year and half that it took me from referral to the actual surgery, I was in intense therapy. No sugar coating my feelings, no coning the therapist. Open wound lets go. And after almost a year after the surgery I am still in therapy. Because being obese is not a lazy disease it’s a food addiction to hide what is hurting us the most. And because what made you obese does not go away once you become thin. All those demons have to be dealt with. Your “fat” friend won’t be there to protect you anymore. So you need to deal with all the demons that caused you to “food protect” yourself.   I have become an inspiration to others. This is most exciting thing that can happen to you once you have had the surgery. Scary but inspirational.    Don’t get me wrong, it has not been all bells and whistles. I struggle with food everyday. When you have the surgery, you HAVE TO change your life style. I had started doing that before the surgery. I started working out, started changing my eating habits. But after surgery, you really have too, or the new tool won’t work. You cannot, cannot eat KFC seven weeks after surgery. You will GAIN WEIGHT BACK. You must change your life style. And you must go to therapy for as long as you have a food addiction. Like AA, it’s for life. I also became lactose intolerant since the surgery.  I also have the blessing of my daughters and my new husband. Yes we got married.  My husband was with me during this whole ordeal. So were my daughters. It does change your life. My life as a wife became better. I am more confident in myself, so I am not hiding from him when he wants to touch me. My daughters have their own struggles. They have always known me as the “Puffy” mommy, now I’m the “skinny” mommy. It got to the point I could not tell my youngest daughter how much I weighed, for she was very envious of my weight loss. My oldest daughter was getting to the point she was afraid of hugging me, because she thought I would break. We are working through those things. Also, if there was something wrong with your relationship with your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, before the surgery. Being thin won’t change that. You might need marriage counseling.    But the wonderful and amazing part of this surgery is I have my life back! I don’t shop in the plus sizes anymore. I can cross my legs. I have gone zip lining, gone to some amusement parks, gone to some water parks, worn short skirts; high heels are my daily foot wear. I could go on, but it would sound like I’m bragging. LOL. Health wise, I have normal blood pressure, I don’t have any closeness to being diabetic, no cholesterol, no sleep apnea, and as for my breathing, I will always have asthma, and my COPD is as good as it will get. I exercise at least four times a week, I will be running a 5km in August, I still watch what I eat but not as anal as I was in the first six months. No I do not eat junk food. I cannot stomach it or even high sugar foods. But I do make all my own meals, bake my own desserts. I love sea food again, not battered not fried and not soaking in butter. I am learning everyday about my new pouch. Some days I can eat certain foods and other days I cannot even put it in my mouth. And taking all those vitamins, calcium, b12, etc...Has become a daily thing now, that it does not even bother me.   I eat now to live, not live to eat. In the past when I would get upset about something I would eat whatever I could get my hands on. Now I go for a walk, exercise or do something to change my mind. But mostly I talk about what is frustrating me at the time, and you know what it works.   I’m trying to make it mandatory to have therapy for those who want the weight loss surgery. During the referral to surgery time and afterwards. I am also trying to make my own weight loss friendly recipe book. That might take awhile.   I read about patients who’ve had the surgery three, four, five, six years ago and are gaining some or most of the weight they loss. And it scares the snot out of me!! That is why I believe in therapy. I am pretty sure these patients did not go into this surgery thinking “I’m going to gain all my weight back”. Because like alcohol, food is an addiction. But not like alcohol, we need food to survive. And finding the balance is very hard.   I love my RNY. I love the confidence I have in myself. I love my body, saggy skin and all. I refuse to replace my hatred for my obese body for my saggy skin. I work out everyday with weights, so that I can have toning in my body and also to prevent osteoporosis. One of my things that I choose to do, because of therapy, is look in the mirror, naked, and find one or several things about myself that I love. I have had to do that since before the surgery. It started with my eyes, my mouth now it’s my body. I love my new found body. Okay so this is not for everybody. But it works for me.  And that is the key. Find what works for you!   I can still see the old me in there. But that does come with time for your mind to catch up with your body.  Find people who have had the surgery, they can be angels when your struggling. I have. She is my best friend. If it wasn’t for her straight forward advise, I probably would not have had this surgery and be very miserable. So I am very grateful for her.     I am so very grateful for my RNY. I love my new second chance. There is nothing that makes me regret it. I love life!!!   Linda

 I cannot believe how the time has flown.  August 17th will be one year.  In the process I am getting married this month..

I will probably post for my one year anniversary...But I love, love my rny It has help me get my life back!!!!!

Linda

That is what I look like when I weight train...to funny..

I have lost 126lbs.  I have to adjust some of my vitamins, my b12 is way to high...And I have to incorporate more carbs in my diet.  Other than that I feel fantastic.

I still struggle with my old self.  I did a cardio work out with a group at the gym and lasted the full hour.  I have been putting that off because I thought that I wouldn't be able to do it.

Other than that everything is great... I love to shop now...

Linda 

I am at 91lbs down... and according to Ottawa I am 9 lbs away from their goal...Mine well you see in the beginning I wanted to weigh between 125 to 130lbs for my 5"4 frame...But as time goes by, I have come to the conclusion that I think I will be happy at any weight as it is...I am tinnier then I was even in High school...When they say your body changes, they aren't kidding...

I also have decided to set a date to get married. On July 21st of 2012 we are getting married..After over two years of engagement and me putting the date off...I finally got everything going...My fiancee is so supportive about everything...I love hime so much..  There are days when I wanted to run screaming pulling my hair out, and other days I could not believe who the person was that was stairing back at me in the mirror...Honestly I still cannot believe that beautiful woman is me....I have to constantly pinch myself in order to believe that is me...

But I do struggle with image everyday...Some days I still see the 271lb woman stairing back at me and on most days I see the beautiful skinny chick in the mirror...So I guess with time that will ease...

Other than that everything is good....Still training to run the 5km in May and now weight training more then usual...

Linda

So I have finally was able to wear my "shrinking jeans of the shrinking yayay sister hood" That my bff gave to me...And they where a size 13...OMG...I am only 4 months out and already wearing a size 13.....

I did cry over the christmas holidays...It was harder then I thought it would be...Everybody was amazing support but the fact that I couldn't eat, or snack like everyone else was hard...I had to remind myself of why I had this surgery...I guess I'm not as tough as I thought...But I got through it...without cheating....

down almost 80lbs...

Linda 

OMFG I am wearin  a size 14 jeans and a size large in pants and tops....I thought I would never be here...Ever..I so love my RNY 

I am 8 weeks out and down 55.5lbs and loving this RNY.....I am even wearing a size 18... OMFG.....I never thought I would be a size 18 ever again.....

Linda