Linny77
Hi, everyone! My name is Lindsay, I am 31 years old, and have an adorable 3 year old daughter.
My story isn't like everyone's. I haven't had a terrible life. I was never abused nor had anything happen to me to blame my weight on, except food and a love for it. I was never skinny. But that didn't stop me. I still had boyfriends, I went to 5 different proms, got married... twice. I have been externally happy for the most part. I've had my bouts of depression, self hate, negative body image issues, etc...even an eating disorder in mid high school...but I kept it all to myself. I knew what I wanted to be...and tried to be it as much as possible. Alot of times I could put it all out of my mind and deny the fact I had a weight problem. That would help for awhile, especially when I avoided doctors and scales for years at a time. Fast forward to after my first marriage failed, and I was 25, and had to have emergency gal bladder surgery. On the scale for the first time in years...294. OMG, 6 lbs away from the 300 lb mark...and I wanted to die. It wasn't long after that I saw a talk show featuring Carnie Wilson, who had always been a favorite person of mine--and I couldn't believe it--she was soooo skinny! This was the first time I had heard about WLS and thought about it as a real option. I went home and told my boyfriend (who became my husband) this was what I was going to do. He cried, but agreed that he would be behind me. I made an appointment with a real PCP, and had my information ready to go to start the process. Needless to say, she was less than helpful. They don't do those surgeries in the small, hick town where I lived. It would involve hapless approvals and letters and red tape, and she wasn't willing to help with any of it. She gave me a script for Adipex and sent me home, my WLS dreams shattered. The Adipex only made me feel like a coke head, and after the initial script she cut me off. I gained and gained. I went on an 'anorexia' diet the month before my wedding and lost a slight, unnoticeable 15 lbs. Then, got pregnant on my honeymoon. Gained more than I ever had with my daughter, shooting up to 350 the day she was born. I went on WW shortly after, lost 70 lbs, but then, of course, as we all did, went off and gained it all back in about 2 months. Stupid holidays.
So I gained and gained and did little about it. I had literally given up. I began to have serious issues, which in turn were ruining my marriage. I couldn't bring myself to look in a mirror very much. I would lay on the couch and watch my daughter play and tell myself to enjoy it, because I wouldn't be seeing her for very long--I was convinced I would be dead before I was 35. My husband and I then decided to move to Ohio, where my parents and sister lived. I love it here. I landed a so-so job but with awesome benefits. One day at work I overheard some of my co workers discussing WLS. After doing a little prying I found out our insurance did cover it. The following week I made an appointment for a seminar with Dr. Rita Anderson. I went there to find out about getting the lap band. After getting the info on that, as they were talking about the other WLS, I became very interested in the BPD/DS. After leaving, I talked with my family and went over the different procedures. They agreed the DS sounded like what I needed, and I wasnt too fond of the whole lap band adjustment thing. So, I began scheduling all the red tape appointments I needed to get through, and when finally done, was convinced I would have to wait a good 6 months before I heard anything, and probably have to appeal a few times.
One Saturday I was cleaning my kitchen and was going through the pile of mail my husband left on the counter. I found a letter from my insurance co, and I thought it would just be a statement from my last Dr appt. When I opened it, and began reading, I started to shake and cry. I was approved, and on the first try! I got my official acceptance phone call from my Dr's office that Monday, and had my surgery scheduled the following day. A few weeks later, the surgery was cancelled a few times for reasons beyond my control, but eventually went though. I had my DS on Nov 15th, 2007. I dont remember much from the first day, I was kind of in and out...I woke up late that evening and was able to do 1 lap around the floor with a nurse, but still do not remember much from it. My doc was very happy with my overall progress and let me go that Sunday. I stayed with my mother for a few days and then went home for a full recovery. Also happened to be Thanksgiving that week, go figure! But I did just fine, and after the first two months was booking it around the office during my lunch breaks. Im loving this. Eventually i quit my sit-on-my-butt all the time job and got recertified as an STNA, and now have a great job at a rehab center. I am looking forward to starting nursing school this fall.
Epilogue: Written March 2008
I had this surgery because I just cannot do this anymore. I am 30 years old and am sick of photoshop'ing my double chin and wide arms out of my pictures to put on Myspace. I am tired of having no decent clothing to wear at all. I am tired of looking dirty, sweaty, tired and worn out everywhere I go. I am tired of looking 20 years older than I am. And I am tired of hating people based on the fact that they dont have this same problem that I do. I have been diagnosed with hypertension and take BP meds, but that is all. I guess at this point I am very lucky not to have diabetes, especially considering I had gestational diabetes when preg with my daughter. So I am thankful for the health I do have. So far, I have lost a total of 85 lbs in 4 months. I cannot believe it, but I think it is all finally starting to sink in--mainly because this is the point in weight where I would lose to and then start slacking on a regular diet. The DS wont let me slack.
I have met so many wonderful people on these boards over the past few months, and gotten INCREDIBLE support and wonderful answers to my (sometimes) airheaded questions. Even though my trip down the WLS aisle isn't even halfway through, I am eager to see what lies ahead!
I am a much more social person now, much happier, and doing much better since my self esteem has been bumped up a little.
Cant wait to have my before and after photos up!
