Good and bad

Aug 28, 2015

So as I lay here I realized that a lot has changed in the last few years. I did get a cat, two actually. I adopted a brother and sister pair named Desi and Lucy. They are my babies. I moved from New Jersey to Colorado in 2008. I loved living in Colorado even though my family was all back home. I met some amazing people that I call my friends who became my family. Somewhere on this journey, I fell off track with losing weight. I feel like a failure some days because I have gained my weight back despite having gastric bypass. That was in 2007. I originally lost about 130 pounds. I have gained 80 back which is frustrating. But I have to get myself re motivated. I will, one day. In 2011 I met a wonderful man on a dating website. I love him so much and he loves me for me. We got married on September 21, 2013. He is such an amazing man, hard working, and the love of my life. In late August 2014 my job transferred me to Washington. They say it's always raining here but I found that to not be true this year. Lol. It has been so dry but I love it here anyway. Except for the fires burning. Pray for our firefighters. Anyway, I want to get back on track and finally lose this weight. I will do this. One day at a time. 

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Sitting here thinking

Jan 08, 2009

 

Well.. I am sitting here thinking.. which probably isnt a good thing for me to do. I will admit I am a little depressed and I dont' really know why. Well, I do although I don't want to admit it.. So here it is. I found out that my ex boyfriends new girlfriend had a baby girl today. I guess what upsets me about it is that I don't have any kids and it doesnt look like I am going to. I am not saying that I wish I was still with him, because I really dont. He used me and stole from me and I am so much better off without him in my life. But I keep thinking, why not me? Why can't I find a companion who wants me for me, not for what I can do for them? Is it so hard to find a mate? I want someone who will go to church with me (maybe) but mostly someone to spend a little time with. Im not asking for all the time, but even someone to share my day with. I guess some days more than others I have been getting home sick. I miss my niece and nephews so much.  Maybe I need to get a cat or something.. lol.. Seriously though, I want a man to share my life with. I am a good person. Or I try to be. I have gotten better (i hope) since I moved out here. But maybe not. Maybe I am not a good person and thats why I am still alone. But there are a lot of people who absolutely SUCK and they are still with someone. I know that I need patience and to work on myself and be happy with myself before I can truly commit to someone else. But I keep asking, what is wrong with me? I know I seem to be on a rant, and I apologize.  I am trying to get back on track with the weight loss.. I have been going to the gym. I started going back this week. I didnt go yesterday because of church and today (wasn't feeling good).. But I will go tomorrow and probably saturday. My goal is to go 4 days a week. The first night I walked for 15 min on the treadmill plus did leg crunch things (with weights) and some arm lifts (with weights). Then Tuesday I did 20 minutes on the treadmill and the leg and arm things again. I seriously need to lose about 60 pounds before May. My mother and my father are getting married so I have to go home for a visit (no, not to each other)... But I want people to see a difference in me (with the weight).. If I lose the 60 pounds it will put me around 200 (maybe a little less).. Considering I started out at 380 I think that would be good. But its such a struggle for me. Especially when I am a little depressed, I love to eat.. lol.. I guess Im human after all.. lol.. Anyway, I have a goal and I have to meet it. I can't have people making fun of me because I stopped losing weight. I still haven't figured out what I want to get down to. My "ideal" weight is 130 but who knows. Maybe I will stop at 150. I dont remember ever being under 220 so I guess time will tell.  Anyway, thanks for reading this and I hope I dont depress you too much.. lol.. I hope you all are okay (whoever reads this that is).. lol.. I stopped emailing a lot of people since I went off track because I am embarrassed. I hate being fat and I dont want to hear about it anymore.. I am sick of the fat jokes. I am tired of people around me making fun of other heavy people and not expecting me to get a little offended.. I know sometimes they aren't talking about me, but since I am heavy, I know what its like. Okay. so you can say that I am stuck on being fat.. lol.. My mind is only focused on one thing.. This sucks.. lol... Anyway, let me know what you think.. I know I shouldnt complain. I know of people that are a lot worse off than me. I actually have it good compared to some. I have a job, an apartment. I am surviving.. But is it enough? Anyway.. i hope to hear from anyone who wants to comment.. Again I apologize if I depressed anyone.. lol.. Talk to you later.. Lisa

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Just a quick update

May 11, 2008

Hello all.. I just noticed how time flies and how long its been since I last posted. Well.. I am down a total of 80 pounds since surgery and 142 pounds total since I started this journey. I am happy with my progress although I keep stalling. I am NOT so good with exercise though, so I know thats why. I made my move to Colorado. I had an interview before I came out here for the Tuesday after my move (I moved Easter Sunday). Anyway, I got a call the next day offering me the job. I started about 2 weeks after I moved out here. It has been an experience. I am learning a lot of new things. I love my apartment and its on the third floor so I do get my exercise in.. lol... Anyway, Thats pretty much all thats new in my life and I am headed out the door to church. I hope all of you are well and I will talk to you soon.. Take care.. Lisa

Ticker

Jan 14, 2008


WOW!!! Its the end of 2007

Dec 27, 2007

Well.. I just realized that its been forever since I last posted. I am slowly losing, although not as fast as I would like, but hey.. I didnt gain it in a day, I wont lose it in a day either... So I am now down a total of 59 pounds since surgery 3 months ago. I am very pleased with the results so far... I am now down a total of 122 pounds since May of 06 when I started this journey... I feel a million times better and I know I will feel even better when this is all said and done... I keep thinking, wow what will it be like to actually be THIN???? I dont think I can ever say that I was, or at least I dont remember it... I still cant get used to the compliments that I receive from people... I still get WAYYY embarrased..lol... I thought about it today and realized that in 12 weeks I will be moving to Colorado... I can't wait and I wish it was now, even with all the snow.. lol... I keep trying to look at the positives in my life, but sometimes, I get so depressed thinking about the negatives... Mainly its being alone.. I HATE ITTTT.. lol... especially with New YEars Eve only a few days away and I will be alone... But I have to believe that good will be coming to me and hopefully in the not too distant future.. So I have to keep thinking positive... Anyway, I wanted to send a short update. I hope all is well with you. Take care.. Lisa

Just a quick update

Nov 14, 2007

Wow.. I can't believe how time flies. It is now 2 months since my surgery and so far I am down about 45 pounds.  I am slowly getting adjusted to foods that I can tolerate without a problem... I do feel that I have more energy now and seem to move a lot quicker than I used to so that makes me feel good.. My plans are moving along about moving to Colorado. I am now definitely going to do it.. My aunt and I are talking about which apartments look good versus those that dont. She has been a very big help for me since I can't just go look at the place and make my decision. I told my job yesterday (yes, I gave them like 4 months notice...lol)... But I didnt' want someone to hear me talking and run to my boss and then her get all pissy at me cause I didnt' tell her. So now, Its out in the open. They are happy for me (or so they say). I am excited and I will tell you, I am also scared out of my mind. I have only lived in New Jersey. Its all I know.. But its not like there is noone going to be out there... And I need a change in my life. I feel like im stuck in a rut and i cant get out.. Anyway, I just wanted to drop this short blog just to update. Hope everyone is doing okay.. Take care.. Lisa

Weight Chart

Sep 19, 2007

Preop (1 week before surgery)-      9/12/07- 317 lbs- Start
1 week post op-                           9/18/07- 300 lbs- 17 lbs lost
2 week post op-                           9/25/07- 295 lbs- 22 lbs lost
3 week post op-                           10/2/07- 290 lbs- 27 lbs lost
4 week post op-                           10/9/07- 283 lbs- 34 lbs lost
8 week post op-                          11/12/07-272 lbs- 45 lbs lost
10 week post op-                       11/24/07- 262 lbs- 55 lbs lost
14 week post op-                       12/29/07- 258 lbs- 59 lbs lost

I can eat.. woo hoo... lol

Sep 18, 2007

Well, I went to the doctor today and I have progressed to pureed foods. I am so happy that I can finally eat.. lol... So when I went for my preop testing the week before surgery I was 317 and today according to their scale I was 300.. So thats 17 pounds in two weeks. I am very happy about that.. I am going to try to keep a weight chart on here.. Just wanted to update...

im home

Sep 14, 2007

ok.. im home.. its done and over with.. i feel pretty good except for being tired.. i need to get a nap right now and then i will feel better (I hope)... everything was easier than i thought. im not in as much pain as i was expecting so thats a good thing... i think the gas is the worst part of all of this..lol... have a great day.... talk to you all soon... Lisa

Tomorrow is the day

Sep 11, 2007

Ok.. so tomorrow is finally my day for this surgery.. I am excited and nervous. They moved up my surgery time so now i have to be at the hospital at 530AM..lol... ughhh... but it will be fine.. im happy to be doing it.. thanks for all of your support.. ill update as soon as i can.. Lisa

About Me
Graham, WA
Location
71.3
BMI
RNY
Surgery
09/12/2007
Surgery Date
May 13, 2007
Member Since

Friends 34

Latest Blog 17
Just a quick update
Ticker
WOW!!! Its the end of 2007
Just a quick update
Weight Chart
I can eat.. woo hoo... lol
im home
Tomorrow is the day

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