lisa48
I remember as far as being in grade two going to school and bringing boiled eggs carrots sticks celery sticks and fruit for desert. Of course I was teased alot but everyone said it was only baby fat and it will go away well it didn`t only when I decided as a teen to try and only eat apples one summer I lost a few pounds and finally had a waist. It didn`t last long !!! My weight was always a struggle .
I`ve been married for 29 1/2yrs in April it will be 30yrs there was a lot of ups and downs but thought we had a good enough married until finally one night after a long talk with my husband about our intimate life I realized that my weight had finally cause him to look at me disgusting and didn`t want to be close to me until I did something about it. So here I was diet or marriage diet worked a bit but I couldn`t do it all and started to gain weight back again. Finally my Dr. asked me if I ever thought about gastric bypas surgery I said yes but I can`t afford it. Thats when my life changed and she put the application in.Now I`m due for surgery dec.16th, 08
I had so many ups and down in my life its no wonder I`m so huge being an emotional eater. I suffer from chronic pain in my left leg from having two blood clots in it. The last one was in 1995 and I haven`t been able to return to work since. I finally won my case with disability and for the past two years I have some money every mth I finally started to feel a bit more useful. I could finally contribute to the house whole income.
Well thats it for tonight I will continue at a later date....
Dec 2, 2008
Today has been very hectic been having problems with the reservations we made for the motel we didn`t know they were going to take the whole about out before we even got there. There`s a clause in it that says u have to pay one night in advance but they took all 5 nights so we have been trying to fight it . My DH was really upset because we had saved up enough american cash to pay for the room now we are losing $145. because we put it on our visa.......The second thing that is stressing me out is we don`t have snow tires on the car and we really do need them , we will be doing a lot of driving back and forth so we need something reliable.
I still haven`t lost my ten pounds and I know I`m suppose to but its so dam hard when your hungry to not eat. I`m really scared for my three days of liquids only that will be very hard to do but will definetly have to do it so I have to have a last super but not sure yet what that will be ...I would have a meal of sweets thats my downfall anything that is sweet I lose the sweeter the better and thats the worse thing I can eat ....
It`s 1:27 am should go to bed before I`m hungry again !!!!
Dec 8th
8 more days for the surgery, and only 5 more days before leaving for Utica !!! Yes my nerves are starting to show and I`m starting to make lits I`ve been reading all the posting and trying to remember it all. It`s what to do whatnot to do. But guess the end is all the same. Skinny will it really happen will I finally be happy !!!! All I ever wanted is to be happy to go to bed at night and be able to tell myself I am loved and I love life. I want to be able to do whatever I want and ot have to think about it for awhile before having to answer someone. It`s usually not because I don`t want to go but I have to think about where were going am I going to be ashame of my weight for any reason like not fitting into a seat at a restaurant and having to get up and look for another kind of seat then trying another one and still not fitting so ending sitting in the car by myself eating by myself how cruel !! why can`t they make at least some of them a bit larger even pregnant women can`t fit into most of them, the chain restaurants are the worst. My health isn`t very good either my leg has a lot of pain and I know some of it is from the weight on it all day..Hopefully it will help it a lot and I can do a lot more in the summer ..
