Lisa (.
My diary from before surgery & immediately after...
Jun 30, 2010
6/13/03
I'm a 28 y.o. married mother of 2 sweet children. I just found out about this site and wanted to see what it's about. My date for surgery is Monday, June 16th and I'm nervous and excited all at once.
6/14/03
Ok, so now I've had a chance to read some other peoples' stuff and I get an idea of what to do here. To tell a little about myself, I never had a weight problem until I hit my 20's. I graduated from high school at 108lbs and I thought I was fat! If I only knew...Well, as with many women, I started having babies and then I had hit and miss bouts with depression and 10 years later I'm 2 days from surgery. I've ran into a lot of negativity in regards to my decision to have surgery, but mostly
because people don't understand what it's all about. I've had to chance to really do a lot of teaching to my family and friends. I know a lot of people who've had this surgery and decided to not tell people. They've had "back surgery" or whatever. I've decided that I refuse to feel ashamed of my decision. I will hold my head high and try to spread the message that I chose to be healthy and be alive to raise my kids, no one should begrudge me that. Ok, so I've rambled, which is typical of me. I want to thank everyone who have sent me messages already. I just joined and I've gotten so many positive words of encouragement, it truly is a help to ease my pre-op jitters. By the way, Dr. de la Torre is awesome, so smart and really has his stuff together. I'd encourage anyone to go to him.
6/23/03
Well, I made it out in one piece. It was pretty rough the first few days, but here I am 7 days post-op and I'm feeling pretty good. I stopped taking pain medication 2 days ago, and other than some discomfort from my drain, I'm feeling excellent. I've mourned the loss of my friend (or enemy) food, but for the most part I'm flying high. I've lost 13lbs as of this morning and I look forward to being cleared to start my exercise program to help move the weight loss right along. My family has been a dream, really pulling me together when I didn't think I could go anymore. So, that's where I'm at...thanks again to everyone who sent well wishes and I hope I can do the same for someone...
6/27/03
I got my drain and staples out yesterday. What a relief! I still have the hole from the drain, but he says it'll close up in a few days. But I got to sleep on my stomach, I slept well last night. :) I am actually feeling pretty great overall. I've lost 19 lbs now in just under 2 weeks and it's not been too terrible not eating. It's hard getting all my water in, but I'm sipping all the time, so I think it'll get easier over time. I have one more week and then I can start on soft foods. And from there I think it'll get easier and easier. I'm just so thankful I made this decision to change my life and I'm thankful for my doctor who helped me get here in one piece.
7/4/03
I'm doing fantastic still. I've lost 23 lbs in total. I'm at one of those points where I'm not losing the pounds for about 4 days now, but I just feel so much better. I'm walking 2 miles every evening with my sister and lifting weights in the morning with my husband. I just got to start eating real food yesterday and it wasn't as much fun as I remembered :) Today might be a little hard since my family is having a big BBQ, but I'm just going to keep in mind that by next 4th of July, I'll be a million times healthier and I'll be able to have a burger off the grill then, or maybe a half of one. Overall, even with the mental cravings I've had and a little self pity (just a little), I'm very glad I made this decision.
8/6/03
Well, it's been some time since I last updated. My weight loss stands at 40lbs, but I think that is good for me since I had 100 to lose, making me almost at the half-way point just 7 short weeks since surgery. More importantly, my mental health has really picked up. Not sayin' I was crazy :) but I was definitely down in the dumps a lot and I was turning into something of a recluse. I feel so much better these days that I'm getting out doing all the things I always loved doing before. And I've also felt so good that I exercise regularly, which is making me healthier overall, not just thinner. My marriage is brighter again and I'm loving doing things with my kids that had gotten hard to do before. So the bottom line is that life is good. I get up each day looking forward to what life has to offer instead of dreading it. I hope I can provide hope for someone who is feeling a bit low.
9/25/03
It's been quite some time since I updated, but there's not really much in the way of news. I'm at 55lbs lost in 3 months, I'm 40 to goal. 10 more lbs and I won't even be in the "obese" category anymore. I'm taking it one day at a time with the lifestyle changes. I've made a few mistakes along the way, but it only takes once to teach me a lesson. I can pretty well eat whatever I want now, which isn't much, a lot of things make me sick to my stomach. I just don't enjoy food like I did before, which I guess is the point of it all. I don't mind though, I stay busy with other stuff. I've not been this healthy and this happy in so long, it just sometimes seems too good to be true. But here I am. Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone who is on this journey.
11/18/03
Time sure flies when you're enjoying life! I'm down to 141lbs now, which totally boggles my mind. I can't tell you when I last weighed this. Although getting lots of compliments and praise on my weight loss is a definite bonus, I have to say that I just feel good. My body doesn't hurt like it used to. My husband and I sleep in the same room again because I don't need to be propped up to breathe and better yet, I don't snore anymore. I am more active in the house work and with playing with my children. I can walk more than a block without feeling like my lungs are collapsing. I'm just happy. This time last year, my husband and I were contemplating divorce, this year we are contemplating where we're going on vacation when summer comes. But I guess none of this is really news to anyone...from all that I've read by everyone, these things are everyone's rewards after their lengthy battle with obesity. Anyway...best wishes to everyone.
11/24/03
Looks like I might have to get my gallbladder taken out...not sure how they do stuff. Got word that I have gall stones and will talk to the doctor when he's seen the ultrasound. Wish me luck.
12/3/03
The doctor called me today to confirm that I do have gall stones. No big surprise. I will have my gallbladder removed on 12/15/03 at Crossroads Hospital with Dr.Scott. I'm really not too stressed out about it, at least it will happen before the end of the year while my deductible is still met. From what Dr. Scott told me, it's not too bad, will even be outpatient surgery. Even in light of this, I still have no regrets. I'm at one of those dreaded weight loss plateaus and have been for 2 weeks now, but just got a tread mill, so I will get my rear in gear and get this weight loss going again. I can't complain about too much, I had a spectacular Thanksgiving, eating a bite of whatever I wanted, though nothing sweet. I didn't even WANT anything sweet. But the turkey was great, looking forward to more at Christmas. My energy is through the roof. My husband is really freaked out by how much housework I'm doing these days. And even better, I'm DONE with my Christmas shopping. Last year, I had no desire or energy to work too hard on it, this year I'm ahead of the game, even have my presents all wrapped and under the tree. Go me. Ok, so I hope everyone has a wonderful, Merry Christmas.
12/19/03
Good-bye gallbladder! It's finally done, no more pain. Well, at least not THAT kind of pain. I've got my staples in yet, but no drain, thank goodness. For some reason I was sure I would have to have another drain. It wasn't too terrible as far as pain goes, though if you find yourself on that path, be warned that you have to walk the "gas" off following surgery, makes for a speedier recovery. That wasn't quite explained to me, though I'm not really going to rag on the hospital too much since I'm feeling all Christmasy. One really neat aspect of the deal was the reactions that I received from people at the hospital when they learned that I had just had RNY this past June. They were like "No way" and "It really worked for you!" The surgical nurses kept calling me Skinny Minnie. What a change, eh? Sometimes I still feel really fat. My best friend said to me just the other day "I can't remember you fat anymore" and I was thinking "Wait, I'm still fat..." I guess it will take a little to come out of that mentality. Sometimes I think that I failed because I haven't lost near the weight some others have. I have lost 72lbs in 6 months when many have lost that in half the time. But I guess that I also have to look at how much I have left, a mere 20lbs. It's so much nicer to be 20lbs overweight rather than 5 times that. Listen to me...I AM thankful to be where I am today, don't take my ramblings to be someone who's not thankful. If I never lost another pound, the things I have accomplished as of today are worth every minute of it. So I guess I will let that be my last thought...Thank God and Dr. De la Torre.
2/15/04
I have now lost 85lbs. The weight is coming off much slower, but I can deal with that. Especially considering I have only 10 more pounds to goal. AND...better yet...I don't have an obnoxious amount of excess skin. Of course I have some, but it's not terrible. Except I will be having breast implants with a lift in the spring, otherwise I won't need any plastic surgery. So that's me 8 months post-op. Hope life is treating everyone else as sweet...'til next time...
3/5/04
I saw my PCP yesterday just for a general physical and I heard words that I never thought I'd hear..."stop losing weight". It's hard for me though...does anyone ever get over feeling like the "fat girl"? I've seen people who had surgery who start looking too thin and thought they should stop losing weight, but I sure don't see myself that way now. Is it because people are used to seeing me fat and now I'm not that it seems like I've lost too much? Or am I not seeing reality enough to realize that I'm obsessing and taking this too far. I don't sit around thinking "don't eat that, you'll get fat". I just don't think about food anymore and when I do eat, I have learned my limits and stop when I'm not hungry. I don't think that's such a bad way to be, I thought that was the whole point of this. It's getting kinda bad though, between my husband and friends and now my PCP, I'm starting to feel like I'm doing something wrong. All I ever wanted was to be healthy and I knew thinner was the start of that. But I don't want to take it to the other extreme either and become thin enough to be unhealthy that way...I'm just feeling a little lost and confused...this seemed to be the best place to blow some steam off. Hope everyone is doing great.
3/30/04
Just updating to say all is well...will try to get a new picture up soon. As much as I sounded like I was feeling sorry for myself last time (which I guess I was), I am very happy with my new life. I've been told over and over that I'm the old me again, not just the outside, but the inside too. I'm more comfortable in my skin again and not hiding in my house afraid to let people see me. Hope everyone is doing great. Best wishes to everyone already on this journey and especially to those just starting.
5/16/04
Down to 113lbs, which is just a few pounds more than I weighed when I graduated from high school. I wear a size 4-6 now which totally blows my mind. I sent my pictures today so they should be up soon I hope. Hope everyone is doing well. Have a fun summer!
6/16/04
One year and one hundred pounds have passed...I'll never be that person again and I thank God for that.
8/5/04
I'm down to 105lbs and wearing a size 2. I just feel fabulous. Next Tuesday I have a consultation with a plastic surgeon in St. Louis and then on Wednesday with a different plastic surgeon in Columbia. My plans at the moment are to start with breast lift/augmentation and a tummy tuck. I think I'll be satisfied with those 2 surgeries, but my husband seems to think it'll only be the beginning. My arms and legs aren't horrible, but they are loose. My butt could definitely use a good lift, but my breasts and stomach are my worst areas, so that's where I'll start. So anyway, best wishes to all, I hope things run as smoothly for you all as it did for me.
1/2/05
Another new year is here and I couldn't feel better. I am almost 19 months post op now and I feel fantastic. I'm still at a stand still on my plastic surgery aspirations, but I guess I can't be mad about that. I will have breast implants/lift in February, but can't really afford tummy tuck yet. I wish I could do both at the same time to have only one recovery time, but it would be selfish to my family to use that much money at one time. I still weigh 105lbs, wearing size 2, but regretfully, I don't exercise regularly...well, hardly ever. Now that I am officially out of the easy weight loss stage, I REALLY need to get something going because I refuse to ever be overweight again. I'm still thankful to have had this surgery and I talk to people all the time about it, especially now that the docs are working in Columbia. I always tell people that it's soooo hard at first, but that I've never been sorry I had it. Having surgery gave me my life back. It allowed me to fix my marriage and become a better mother to my children, and now to other children as well (we became foster parents). I have better relationships with my entire family since I'm not a miserable person anymore. Most importantly, I FEEL like me again...emotionally. So for everyone embarking on this journey...and I see there are lots of you :)...the days ahead might be tough, but I'm so excited for you for the life ahead of you. My prayers are with you all. Happy New Year.
6/21/05
It's been 2 years! I forgot all about it until a friend wrote to wish me a happy anniversary. I guess that's where I am in life, just living so much that I don't even think about it much anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, I will NEVER forget where I came from, to do that would be a dangerous thing as I couldn't bear the thought of ever being obese again. I just don't think about it on a daily basis anymore. My weight has been so stable I don't even weight everyday anymore. I actually have a part time job at our local swimming pool where I am not embarrassed to be walking around in my swimming suit. Who'd have ever thunk it? :) The only downside to it all, I spend waaaaay too much money on great clothes, but it's so much fun! Anyway, best wishes to everyone no matter where they are on this fabulous journey of weight loss!
0 comments
I'm a 28 y.o. married mother of 2 sweet children. I just found out about this site and wanted to see what it's about. My date for surgery is Monday, June 16th and I'm nervous and excited all at once.
6/14/03
Ok, so now I've had a chance to read some other peoples' stuff and I get an idea of what to do here. To tell a little about myself, I never had a weight problem until I hit my 20's. I graduated from high school at 108lbs and I thought I was fat! If I only knew...Well, as with many women, I started having babies and then I had hit and miss bouts with depression and 10 years later I'm 2 days from surgery. I've ran into a lot of negativity in regards to my decision to have surgery, but mostly
because people don't understand what it's all about. I've had to chance to really do a lot of teaching to my family and friends. I know a lot of people who've had this surgery and decided to not tell people. They've had "back surgery" or whatever. I've decided that I refuse to feel ashamed of my decision. I will hold my head high and try to spread the message that I chose to be healthy and be alive to raise my kids, no one should begrudge me that. Ok, so I've rambled, which is typical of me. I want to thank everyone who have sent me messages already. I just joined and I've gotten so many positive words of encouragement, it truly is a help to ease my pre-op jitters. By the way, Dr. de la Torre is awesome, so smart and really has his stuff together. I'd encourage anyone to go to him.
6/23/03
Well, I made it out in one piece. It was pretty rough the first few days, but here I am 7 days post-op and I'm feeling pretty good. I stopped taking pain medication 2 days ago, and other than some discomfort from my drain, I'm feeling excellent. I've mourned the loss of my friend (or enemy) food, but for the most part I'm flying high. I've lost 13lbs as of this morning and I look forward to being cleared to start my exercise program to help move the weight loss right along. My family has been a dream, really pulling me together when I didn't think I could go anymore. So, that's where I'm at...thanks again to everyone who sent well wishes and I hope I can do the same for someone...
6/27/03
I got my drain and staples out yesterday. What a relief! I still have the hole from the drain, but he says it'll close up in a few days. But I got to sleep on my stomach, I slept well last night. :) I am actually feeling pretty great overall. I've lost 19 lbs now in just under 2 weeks and it's not been too terrible not eating. It's hard getting all my water in, but I'm sipping all the time, so I think it'll get easier over time. I have one more week and then I can start on soft foods. And from there I think it'll get easier and easier. I'm just so thankful I made this decision to change my life and I'm thankful for my doctor who helped me get here in one piece.
7/4/03
I'm doing fantastic still. I've lost 23 lbs in total. I'm at one of those points where I'm not losing the pounds for about 4 days now, but I just feel so much better. I'm walking 2 miles every evening with my sister and lifting weights in the morning with my husband. I just got to start eating real food yesterday and it wasn't as much fun as I remembered :) Today might be a little hard since my family is having a big BBQ, but I'm just going to keep in mind that by next 4th of July, I'll be a million times healthier and I'll be able to have a burger off the grill then, or maybe a half of one. Overall, even with the mental cravings I've had and a little self pity (just a little), I'm very glad I made this decision.
8/6/03
Well, it's been some time since I last updated. My weight loss stands at 40lbs, but I think that is good for me since I had 100 to lose, making me almost at the half-way point just 7 short weeks since surgery. More importantly, my mental health has really picked up. Not sayin' I was crazy :) but I was definitely down in the dumps a lot and I was turning into something of a recluse. I feel so much better these days that I'm getting out doing all the things I always loved doing before. And I've also felt so good that I exercise regularly, which is making me healthier overall, not just thinner. My marriage is brighter again and I'm loving doing things with my kids that had gotten hard to do before. So the bottom line is that life is good. I get up each day looking forward to what life has to offer instead of dreading it. I hope I can provide hope for someone who is feeling a bit low.
9/25/03
It's been quite some time since I updated, but there's not really much in the way of news. I'm at 55lbs lost in 3 months, I'm 40 to goal. 10 more lbs and I won't even be in the "obese" category anymore. I'm taking it one day at a time with the lifestyle changes. I've made a few mistakes along the way, but it only takes once to teach me a lesson. I can pretty well eat whatever I want now, which isn't much, a lot of things make me sick to my stomach. I just don't enjoy food like I did before, which I guess is the point of it all. I don't mind though, I stay busy with other stuff. I've not been this healthy and this happy in so long, it just sometimes seems too good to be true. But here I am. Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone who is on this journey.
11/18/03
Time sure flies when you're enjoying life! I'm down to 141lbs now, which totally boggles my mind. I can't tell you when I last weighed this. Although getting lots of compliments and praise on my weight loss is a definite bonus, I have to say that I just feel good. My body doesn't hurt like it used to. My husband and I sleep in the same room again because I don't need to be propped up to breathe and better yet, I don't snore anymore. I am more active in the house work and with playing with my children. I can walk more than a block without feeling like my lungs are collapsing. I'm just happy. This time last year, my husband and I were contemplating divorce, this year we are contemplating where we're going on vacation when summer comes. But I guess none of this is really news to anyone...from all that I've read by everyone, these things are everyone's rewards after their lengthy battle with obesity. Anyway...best wishes to everyone.
11/24/03
Looks like I might have to get my gallbladder taken out...not sure how they do stuff. Got word that I have gall stones and will talk to the doctor when he's seen the ultrasound. Wish me luck.
12/3/03
The doctor called me today to confirm that I do have gall stones. No big surprise. I will have my gallbladder removed on 12/15/03 at Crossroads Hospital with Dr.Scott. I'm really not too stressed out about it, at least it will happen before the end of the year while my deductible is still met. From what Dr. Scott told me, it's not too bad, will even be outpatient surgery. Even in light of this, I still have no regrets. I'm at one of those dreaded weight loss plateaus and have been for 2 weeks now, but just got a tread mill, so I will get my rear in gear and get this weight loss going again. I can't complain about too much, I had a spectacular Thanksgiving, eating a bite of whatever I wanted, though nothing sweet. I didn't even WANT anything sweet. But the turkey was great, looking forward to more at Christmas. My energy is through the roof. My husband is really freaked out by how much housework I'm doing these days. And even better, I'm DONE with my Christmas shopping. Last year, I had no desire or energy to work too hard on it, this year I'm ahead of the game, even have my presents all wrapped and under the tree. Go me. Ok, so I hope everyone has a wonderful, Merry Christmas.
12/19/03
Good-bye gallbladder! It's finally done, no more pain. Well, at least not THAT kind of pain. I've got my staples in yet, but no drain, thank goodness. For some reason I was sure I would have to have another drain. It wasn't too terrible as far as pain goes, though if you find yourself on that path, be warned that you have to walk the "gas" off following surgery, makes for a speedier recovery. That wasn't quite explained to me, though I'm not really going to rag on the hospital too much since I'm feeling all Christmasy. One really neat aspect of the deal was the reactions that I received from people at the hospital when they learned that I had just had RNY this past June. They were like "No way" and "It really worked for you!" The surgical nurses kept calling me Skinny Minnie. What a change, eh? Sometimes I still feel really fat. My best friend said to me just the other day "I can't remember you fat anymore" and I was thinking "Wait, I'm still fat..." I guess it will take a little to come out of that mentality. Sometimes I think that I failed because I haven't lost near the weight some others have. I have lost 72lbs in 6 months when many have lost that in half the time. But I guess that I also have to look at how much I have left, a mere 20lbs. It's so much nicer to be 20lbs overweight rather than 5 times that. Listen to me...I AM thankful to be where I am today, don't take my ramblings to be someone who's not thankful. If I never lost another pound, the things I have accomplished as of today are worth every minute of it. So I guess I will let that be my last thought...Thank God and Dr. De la Torre.
2/15/04
I have now lost 85lbs. The weight is coming off much slower, but I can deal with that. Especially considering I have only 10 more pounds to goal. AND...better yet...I don't have an obnoxious amount of excess skin. Of course I have some, but it's not terrible. Except I will be having breast implants with a lift in the spring, otherwise I won't need any plastic surgery. So that's me 8 months post-op. Hope life is treating everyone else as sweet...'til next time...
3/5/04
I saw my PCP yesterday just for a general physical and I heard words that I never thought I'd hear..."stop losing weight". It's hard for me though...does anyone ever get over feeling like the "fat girl"? I've seen people who had surgery who start looking too thin and thought they should stop losing weight, but I sure don't see myself that way now. Is it because people are used to seeing me fat and now I'm not that it seems like I've lost too much? Or am I not seeing reality enough to realize that I'm obsessing and taking this too far. I don't sit around thinking "don't eat that, you'll get fat". I just don't think about food anymore and when I do eat, I have learned my limits and stop when I'm not hungry. I don't think that's such a bad way to be, I thought that was the whole point of this. It's getting kinda bad though, between my husband and friends and now my PCP, I'm starting to feel like I'm doing something wrong. All I ever wanted was to be healthy and I knew thinner was the start of that. But I don't want to take it to the other extreme either and become thin enough to be unhealthy that way...I'm just feeling a little lost and confused...this seemed to be the best place to blow some steam off. Hope everyone is doing great.
3/30/04
Just updating to say all is well...will try to get a new picture up soon. As much as I sounded like I was feeling sorry for myself last time (which I guess I was), I am very happy with my new life. I've been told over and over that I'm the old me again, not just the outside, but the inside too. I'm more comfortable in my skin again and not hiding in my house afraid to let people see me. Hope everyone is doing great. Best wishes to everyone already on this journey and especially to those just starting.
5/16/04
Down to 113lbs, which is just a few pounds more than I weighed when I graduated from high school. I wear a size 4-6 now which totally blows my mind. I sent my pictures today so they should be up soon I hope. Hope everyone is doing well. Have a fun summer!
6/16/04
One year and one hundred pounds have passed...I'll never be that person again and I thank God for that.
8/5/04
I'm down to 105lbs and wearing a size 2. I just feel fabulous. Next Tuesday I have a consultation with a plastic surgeon in St. Louis and then on Wednesday with a different plastic surgeon in Columbia. My plans at the moment are to start with breast lift/augmentation and a tummy tuck. I think I'll be satisfied with those 2 surgeries, but my husband seems to think it'll only be the beginning. My arms and legs aren't horrible, but they are loose. My butt could definitely use a good lift, but my breasts and stomach are my worst areas, so that's where I'll start. So anyway, best wishes to all, I hope things run as smoothly for you all as it did for me.
1/2/05
Another new year is here and I couldn't feel better. I am almost 19 months post op now and I feel fantastic. I'm still at a stand still on my plastic surgery aspirations, but I guess I can't be mad about that. I will have breast implants/lift in February, but can't really afford tummy tuck yet. I wish I could do both at the same time to have only one recovery time, but it would be selfish to my family to use that much money at one time. I still weigh 105lbs, wearing size 2, but regretfully, I don't exercise regularly...well, hardly ever. Now that I am officially out of the easy weight loss stage, I REALLY need to get something going because I refuse to ever be overweight again. I'm still thankful to have had this surgery and I talk to people all the time about it, especially now that the docs are working in Columbia. I always tell people that it's soooo hard at first, but that I've never been sorry I had it. Having surgery gave me my life back. It allowed me to fix my marriage and become a better mother to my children, and now to other children as well (we became foster parents). I have better relationships with my entire family since I'm not a miserable person anymore. Most importantly, I FEEL like me again...emotionally. So for everyone embarking on this journey...and I see there are lots of you :)...the days ahead might be tough, but I'm so excited for you for the life ahead of you. My prayers are with you all. Happy New Year.
6/21/05
It's been 2 years! I forgot all about it until a friend wrote to wish me a happy anniversary. I guess that's where I am in life, just living so much that I don't even think about it much anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, I will NEVER forget where I came from, to do that would be a dangerous thing as I couldn't bear the thought of ever being obese again. I just don't think about it on a daily basis anymore. My weight has been so stable I don't even weight everyday anymore. I actually have a part time job at our local swimming pool where I am not embarrassed to be walking around in my swimming suit. Who'd have ever thunk it? :) The only downside to it all, I spend waaaaay too much money on great clothes, but it's so much fun! Anyway, best wishes to everyone no matter where they are on this fabulous journey of weight loss!
