Lisakfrompa

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I really need to keep up with this blog because you so quickly forget the things you are thinking in the moment.  Where do I start...well, I went to the doctors on Wednesday 3/26/2008 and to no surprise, weighed exactly the same as I did at Decembers appointment exactly the same, even in ounces...the truth of the matter is, I had gained about 6 pounds over the holidays and it took me the last couple months to take them off.  So, I decided to get a small fill .5cc I was on liquids for a couple days and it felt tight but I had no idea how tight until I tried pureed,  it was a no go,  by Saturday, I was having trouble swallowing my own spit.  I had a funeral Saturday and I had to work Sunday so I suffered with no food and very little beverage until Monday,  well when I went back, my blood pressure was only 90/6o mind you It's usually high and I had lost 6 pounds in 5 days....call it starvation...I was starting to dehydrate....so I got the .5 fill taken back out...what a relief....I never want to feel like that again.  It was a wake up call that's for sure. So I'm back on the wagon...eating much less, healthier and exercising more....anything not to get a fill like that again.

I have been grazing like a cow....little bites of everything all day long....I've gained a few pounds in the last few weeks and today it's going to STOP.  I know it's stress, I can feel it.  I'm an emotional eater and I have felt lots of stress between work....the real estate market hasn't been the best these days, the weather, winter time in PA is very depressing,  and my nephew's little boy was diagnosed on 12/28/07 with liver cancer....I've been having issues ever since.....this is how I deal with problems, with food, that's why I was obese to begin with, I don't know how to deal with stress without food but I woke up today and decided that I worked too darn hard to self sabotosh.  So I'm getting the rule book back out and going to make myself get back on track. 

As I sit here typing I can't believe how quickly time goes by.  Another holiday has come and gone the end of the year is a few days away and I feel like my life has really just started over.  This year instead of hiding from the camera I let people take photos of me I enjoyed getting dressed up for my company party and for Christmas, I received numerous compliments not so much on my weight but that I looked good and I think a lot of that is because I feel good.  The lap band is not a quick fix my brain still thinks like an overeater and I tend to put entirely too much food on my plate but I have learned to put the fork down when I'm full and slow down when eating.  I've lost about 65 pounds since I started this journey but more important than what I lost is what I gained.....my life back.  Here's to another great year in 2008.

I can't believe it.  It's been a year already.  It's been a wonderful journey so far.  Some days have been tough.  I'm so grateful for this website and for the lap band.  I was hoping to lose a little more wieight but I have my whole life to work on this.  What is more important to me is what I've gained by losing weight.  I can walk up numerous flights of steps without getting winded,  my thighs don't rub together,  my feet are no longer wide width, clothes shopping is more fun.  I've went from a size 22/24 to a size 16.  I have absolutely no regrets about my decision to have the lap band.  I have no doubt I would have continued gaining weight if i didn't.   From my first visit to the Surgeon, to now, I have lost a little over 60 pounds 50 of that after surgery. I'm looking foward to another great year.  I'm hoping to drop the remaining 40 this year. 

It's very difficult to believe but 10 months have passed since I had this lap band surgery.  I started this journey a year ago when I visited the surgeons office for my initial consultation.  Is it everything I thought it would be?  I don't know.  I guess even though I was told weight loss would be slow, I was hoping mine would be quicker.  I'm not sorry that I did this.  Without this surgery, who knows what I would weigh now.  I certainly wouldn't have lost weight and kept it off for a year I know that from past experience.  As I look towards the future, I can only hope that things continue to go well with this band and that I don't suffer any ill effects from it.  I haven't had a carbonated beverage in over 10 months now.  To be honest,  I don't miss them.  Most of the time I am able to eat a little bit of everything.  Some days are better than others.  I'd be lying if I said I don't miss the occassional pig out.  Pre band I could eat large quantities of food and rarely feel full.  I can only eat a small portion of what I could before.  Pre band I was a 3-4 slice pizza eater now If I can eat pizza, I'm lucky to get down 1 and that is without the crust.  Food is no longer that important to me.  I eat what I can.  It there is food left on the plate, I throw it out.  I'm still learning to put less on the plate.  My mind is still thinking like a overeater but thanks to my band, my stomach isn't.

Wow where does time go?  9 Mos ago today I had my surgery.  It's hard to believe that 9 mos has passed.  Has it been easy?  NO     Do I regret my decision to have this surgery?  NOT FOR A MINUTE   I feel so much better physically and mentally.  My period returned on it's own after an absence of 19 years (explains the PMS the days before) my legs don't hurt when I walk for distances anymore, I don't get out of breath when I climb stairs, my thighs don't rub together anymore, my rings are loose,  my clothes are loose, my pants size went from a size 22/24 to a size 16, I lost 9 inches in my waist and numerous inches other places as well,  I don't mind looking at pictures of myself anymore,  I see the old me in the mirror, I weigh the same as I did 16 years ago,  my family doesn't look at me with sadness or pity anymore(family members always looked at me with a look of sadness or concern)  There has been so many positive things that come from this surgery.  I wouldn't recommend it for everyone, it's a personal decision, and one that people need to make on their own.  But for me.  I'm so glad they have this tool because it appears that this tool is just what I needed to get myself back on track.  53 pounds down,  47 to go !

Well I finally had my 3rd fill. It was a very small fill .25 ml I asked how big my band was since I didn't know.  I believe he said it is a 10cm band and it holds 4 ml of liquid.  I had 1.75ml in the band before the fill so now I have 2.0ml.   I've lost 48 pounds since starting this journey.  As much as I would love the weight to fall off quicker....I now realize that slower is healthier.  My surgeon feels that I'm doing well and that my weight loss is on track.  I'm getting used to eating smaller portions and quickly learning what I can and can not eat.  My next appointment is in 4 months and then he said I'll probably go on a once a year schedule.  This is truly a life altering experience.  I'm happy to report that all my clothes are getting too big and so are my bras.....I guess I'm going to have to buy some new clothes : )

I was supposed to have my 6 month appt. today and a fill. I got a call less than an hour before my appointment telling me the doctor was on vacation and they had to reschedule.  I've had my appointment scheduled for 3 mos.  I think they could have called earlier.  I rearranged my schedule to accomodate the appt.   I've only had 2 fills so far and I desperately need one.  I'm hungry.  I lost 2 pounds this week but I have really struggled with trying not to overeat.  The earliest they can take me now is May 30th.  I hope I can fight my hunger that long.

Well,  So much for the celebration.  I've gained 5 pounds in the last couple weeks and now my weight loss is only 40 pounds.  I'm still grateful for a loss but I feel so frustrated.  I feel like my body is making me fight for every ounce.  I'm trying not to let it get me too down but it's hard.  I'm scheduled for my next fill May 7th.  I hope it helps.  I know this is a journey and with every journey there are bumps in the road.  I'm trying to keep my chin up.  At least there are a few less of them. 

I can't belive it but the scale is in motion again.  I've lost 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks.  I haven't done anything different other than adding spearmint tea to my daily liquid intake.  I started drinking the tea to help with facial hair.  I read that spearmint tea lowers the male hormone levels in women and since that is a problem I have from the PCOS I thought what the heck....well,  the facial hair looks the same but the scale is moving.  I'll be curious to see if my blood work shows a reduction in male hormone levels.  My next boat load of bloodwork is in the middle of May.  My weight loss is now 45 pounds and counting.  I have to say that eating still isn't my favorite thing to do since the surgery....but I guess that's the whole idea.  I have to find other things to do.  I celebrated Easter and my birthday yesterday with my family.  I did enjoy a little cake....heck it was my birthday !