Small Airplane, Big Guy

Aug 17, 2009

So, I travel about 4 times a year and I always use Midwest Airlines. I never have to use a seat belt extender and the seats are two in a row which is nice when I travel with my wife. Occasional, I will have to sit by someone I don't know, which is no cakewalk. As I'm coming down the isle, they look at me like I'm a giant life sized Pillsbury Dough Boy ready to smash them with my gooey ass body. I always make sure that my body never touches theirs. Once I sit down, I lean away from them and stay that way for the entire trip while my legs and arms go numb and my side is in pain. I think the only thing that keeps me conscious is the Jedi mind tricks I use on myself and the hope I have in my heart that the trip will soon be over.

Anyway, the last time I was coming back from New York, I boarded a Midwest Connect flight. I sat down and went to my happy place filled full of fairies on unicycles playing violins while my body dealt with the pain. Of course I needed a seat belt extender and so did the NORMAL couple in front of me. When I say normal, I mean a weight of 195 and 165. You should have saw me try to hold my complimentary drink and read a book. The tray in front of me went half way down until it hit my body. The next time I'm going to put my drink on it and watch it slide to the floor just for a good laugh. The point I want to make is fly Midwest, but stay away from their connect flights that they contract out.

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