lizzianne_2000

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I am SO glad that the past month is now almost past.  I have had the most crazy month at work and it totally got in the way of me being able to workout or pay very very close attention to my diet - HOWEVER I am glad to report that I have not gained any weight.

OK  so this pisses me off.... I am dealing with the real red tape shit at work and trying my best to stay on top of my roles -  food, exercise, sleep, wife, mother, daughter, teacher, woman.  I am walking almost everyday at work and have gotten myself up to a very fast walk doing 10 laps around the building.  It takes about 1/2 hr.... and I still don't know how far it is - although I promise myself that I will ask today.  However, even with all that - I am NOT LOOSING!  I had my 6 month and they told me that I HAVE to get my caloric intake up to 1100 - it was 995... that my metabolism would stall into starvation mode it I didn't ... and that would not help me in the long run.  OK... cool, i like permission to eat... however I am SO conscious of it, and actually eating very healthy... but still fricken stalled.  It doesn't help when I get my period, because I always gain 2 lbs during that time, and then drop... so perhaps I will loose 4 lbs this time.  Just frustrated with it.... but I keep telling myself that it is a journey and that I have 6 months to still get the rest off.  I want 40 more off.

I'm a hard case - one minute I'm lovey and the next I'm biting!!!!!  not really.  OK- people!!!!!!! I am happy today, because I have lost another pound and that means that the combination of what I am eating and the exercise that I am giving myself as a present is WORKING!!!  I have been walking at work - I wait till all my work is over, rehearsals and kids are gone, and I put on my ear buds and hit the halls.  I started walking slower and I have been building my pace and I walk for a 1/2 hour or until I just have to stop which was the case last night - my chin on my right leg were really hurting and I don't need Chin splints... so I am not walking today to rest it.
Thanks for all the encouragement.

ahhhh   HELLLLLOOOOO  people!!! - optimisim is a word that means to see the glass half full instead of alwasy seeing it half empty!  Take the hint!

I get so frustrated that my job gets into the way sometime of actual time.  I have been trying to walk for 1/2 hours after work and get some actual exercise into my work day outside of my content area activities.... however I now have added rehearsals to my plate of the usual spring musical and those practices are right after school.
To make it more frustrating, I stopped again after loosing those two pounds because it is Thurs. and I haven't walked since Tuesday.... I couldn't walk Monday for doctor appts. and then yesterday I had a rehearsal until 5 pm and then needed to get the little one home and run to the grocery store as we were out of everything -- you know... toilet paper, milk, bread, eggs, etc.  the usual staples plus - I was out of my shakes, protein bars and fresh fruit.  Larry and I rushed and still got home about 8:30pm.  I rushed to get Madison into bed since she was now an hour late to bed, unload groceries, put away, and then check on my aging parents.  Needless to say.... it was 10pm before I even got to sit down.  Was supposed to finish a lesson plan that is overdue... didn't even make it that far and fell asleep asap.  Thought I would just die when that clock went off today at 6am.  SO..... just frustrated that there ISN'T enough time for ME~!  I want to walk so I can get the last fricken 40 lbs off!!!

SO - this morning after 6 weeks of frustration, cheating, and then busting my hump to make progress - it is finally all paying off as I made it past 188.4 - to 187.2 so I am happy as a clam right now. I am working mentally as hard as I did when I first come home after WLS again so I know I can do this.  I need to get around 140 to 145ish.  I posted that 140 was my goal, but it is more important to me that I be at my good body weight to be healthy - rather than just wanting to be thin.  Thin is good, and I want to be that as well, but it is more important that I love a long life to see my daughter grown.  I pray everyday and thank God for the gifts that I have been given and that includes my good fortune with WLS.

It has been a really long week at work and I have been walking every day... however I am really frustrated between the watching so very closely what I am eating and the walking for a week and not even loosing a 1/10 of a pound.  UGH.   I am hoping that after this weekend I can get my numbers moving again.  I am trying so very hard to be honest and true and hold myself accountable and also to realize that my WLS was and IS only a tool.  I always knew that it wasn't a "quick fix" that this is a life long change that I would endure for health and sanity, however I am frustrated that I have been 188 now for 6 weeks.  I guess the positive is that I am NOT gaining.  I will continue to persevere.

I have actually done it!  I have walked for two days now - for 1/2 half hour each time.  A medium paced walk for 15 minutes and then another 15 min. of a faster pace.  I am feeling confident in the change and also in the accountability of the diet.  I have seen an improvement in the fat content and also the carbs lowering even in 2 days on my charts, so I must be making some improvement... now I would just love to see an improvement in the numbers on the scale.
This morning, I have only lost 4/10 of a pound - so I am hoping that tomorrow I might actually make it below 188lbs.  We shall see!

 I made it today - with NO cookies, NO sweets, etc.... from the holidays!  I am very proud of myself.  Today I vowed to start fresh with my diet and get the rest of the 40 lbs off!!!  I started my nutrition blog on here today and I am keeping track of it consistently, even adding food items that I need to add.  
Over the holidays I found that I was giving myself permission to cheat.... which I did.  However I maintained my 188 lbs. without gaining any weight - just NOT loosing any.  That is going to change.  This is the first year where I am actually making a New Year resolution.... I am going to walk at work, and I am going to eat right.  Stay with me - "God is my portion" ... I know I can do this, as I want to be now to my target weight by summer.

My mindset is better today.  I had a lousy day yesterday at work and struggled to NOT bring it home with me - but it was really bad.  I did ok, and I finished the last concert last night, so NOW I can work on our Christmas stuff.  My son comes home in a week... so I just need to get ready for Christmas!  I feel better today.