Just need to vent
Jun 23, 2009Hi everyone,
wow - Its been so long since I've updated...sorry about that. A lot has happened.
Everything is good ... I just need to vent to someone and because I need to get back on track again.... I posted on BOTT board and I am posting it here as well. I thought posting my feelings here and over at BOTT, would help me.
On June 8, 2004.... i had my WLS surgery. So, i am 5 years post op. I started my WLS journey at 285lbs. I ended up about 135-140lbs. when I get my monthly friend.... there is a little bounce between the numbers. However, I have maintained this weight for 4 years now until my cat passed away. This past year. It was a whole year I had to dedicate myself to taking care of my baby (cat). That threw me off big time with my workout routine and eating habits. I honestly, did not even pay attention to myself. I weight myself a couple months ago and I weighed 147lbs. Since then, I am so lucky, thank god ,I only put on few pounds. Its been a struggle for me since she passed away. When my cat passed away, I could not eat. Everyday it was a struggle for me. I knew I had to eat, but didn't feel like it. I drank a lot of water. Drank my protein shakes. But hardly ate. I ate probably once a day, if that. And it was so little. How could I gain weight from not eating? I don't know, I guess being very depressed can do it to you. Plus the fact i was not eating enough foods. I was so depressed. My cat , she was part of me and now she is not here any longer. My hubby, hated to see me depressed like that. So ,my hubby and I adopted 2 little kitten a few months back and they are adorable and I love them so much. But, no one will ever take my Sienna baby cat's place. She will be missed so much.
I do have to say since she passed. I am back on track with my eating and routine. I am getting in all my ..foods, protein , water and workouts in. I feel better. I have more energy. I am able to do things now and not have to worry every hour about force feeding her. and sticking her with needles to try to rehydrate her. She was so dehydrated. Poor girl. It was horrible. I was so emotional drained. But i am glad she is at peace now. I do keep myself busy and active throughout the day. And I am so happy I am back on track with my routines. Truly, the key to keeping the weight off is tracking your foods, eating enough foods, drinking your water, getting enough protein in throughout the day and staying within your calories. If you know your magic numbers ,then you will not go wrong. If you know your numbers, it will be easy for you to always maintain your post op weight. That's how I maintain for so long. For me, it is a must to keep up with my workout routine every single day. I did not workout so much when my cat passed away, It was very hard and emotional..... but i tell you....i did walk a lot ....everywhere I walked!! I love walking. Running is to hard on my knees. Although , I do love running. But rather not run. I also love working out to DVDs. And also going to the gym early in the mornings. I stay in the gym for hours. lol I am a gym rat. However, walking gives *me time* to myself and think. I love ME time lol don't you? If I don't workout - or not even walk.... I feel horrible and depressed that day. I love working out. Because I love the end results. What motivates me is when I find old photos of myself and see how terrible I looked. I'm just loving my new life and new body!!!! I love working out! I dedicated myself to mornings workouts everyday, and for a very long time now, I have been getting up before 5am to workout! My friends and family think i am nuts for doing this. BUT guess what? My workout is done and I can do what I wanna do now. :-) When I am done with my workout... I feel wonderful. I feel energized! And ready to take the world LOL! I feel strong and so much better. Its a great stress reliever, too. Whenever I don't want to workout, all I have to do is look in the mirror and thank God for my new body. I love the way I look and want to keep this body looking this way. :-)
I am Back on track!!
Thank you for letting me vent today.
Aug 12, 2004