11 Days

Oct 06, 2011

They called today.  Surgery is scheduled for October 17th.  I honestly felt like I was going to throw up after I hung up the phone.  It is happening so fast.  I have been worrying about so many things over the past week or so.  My latest is...what if I don't lose enough weight...what if I go through this and am still fat??  I researched the ds a little...and the weight loss seems to be more...but my dr doesn't do that surgery.  The doctor that does do it...won't be able to do the surgery for about three months...I don't want to wait..I'm ready now.  The ds scares me too...so I'm doing the gastric bypass...but what if I only lose 60% of excess weight...that would leave me still fat!  I don't need to be my ideal weight..but I would like to look decent.  Why do people get to certain point and stop losing weight...why do people not reach their goal??   Don't get me wrong...I know I will be healthier..but I want to be happier with my apperance too...I want to wear cute clothes..I want to not worry what people think as I walk past them..I want so many things....

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