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You don't exercise!!!  I only lost 1.2 pounds this week.  I'm pretty bummed about this, but have no one to blame but myself.  I simply didn't make exercising a top priority this week (plus I got stung by a wasp & my ankle swelled up, doc said to stay off it).  You can bet this will light a fire under my ass for this week!!!!!

My goal is to get to 50 pounds by my 3-month check up w/Dr. Hart.  I'm going to have to really bust it to get there.  I think I can do it, though.

Everything else is going well.  Still no vomiting/nausea.  Feeling great!  Very happy that I had the surgery.  Starting to not recognize my image in mirrors.  All our full length mirrors are in storage right now, so it's a surprise when I do get a glimpse.  Really, really anxious to get to 50 pounds.  I'm not sure why that number means so much to me, but it does.  I have to come up with something really great to celebrate it, though.  Maybe I'll book a body massage or a facial.  That would be a real treat!!!!!

I'm off to the park to walk.  Not sure if I'll do 3 miles or try for 4 today.  I feel like I need to make up for this past week!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, life is really good.  As of this morning I'm down 42 pounds.  I'm really in shock.  Something about finally getting out of the 30's and into the 40's just seems like such a huge hurdle.  I'll probably just explode when I finally get in the 50's!!!  And I can't even wrap my brain around losing 60 pounds yet.  I know that's a long way away for me since I seem to be one of the slow & steady losers, unfortunately.  I get so envious when I see people that have lost 70 pounds in 2 months, but I'm still very, very happy that I'm losing.  And rule number 1 in Susan Maria's book is "don't ever compare yourself to anyone else that's had surgery".

My body is still really reacting very weird to the weight loss - I now weigh less than I have in many, many years but I'm still not wearing as small sizes as I was the last time I got down to even 199.  It seems like all my belly fat just doesn't want to let go!!!  I know it'll react eventually, right?  Or am I going to be this skinny hot mama with a huge belly???

I'm still walking at the duck pond park & enjoying it quite a lot.  I'm starting to see some of the same people over & over again even though I go at different times of the day.  I still haven't added in any resistance training yet.  I just don't know what to do - since we have our house for sale we don't want to pay to join a gym (the last time we did that it was a real pain in the ass to cancel it) - hoping that it'll sell before a year's contract would be up.  I'm going to look into that Average Joe workout that I hear advertised on the radio - they say it's all your own body weight exercises.

I still haven't found anything that makes me sick.  Of  course I haven't strayed from the instructions yet either.  I'm pretty proud of that.  It's not always been easy, but I guess it's been worth it not to be sick.  I even found pizza that I can eat - the other night my nephew & hubby had pizza so I found a South Beach Diet frozen pizza that had tons of protein & fiber & I just had a 1/2 of one.  It was pretty yummy for sure!!!!!!  I'm still at about 1/2 cup of food in 30 minutes or so, depending on how soft it is.

Again, life is really good right now.  Thank you God for these many blessings!!!!!

Well I just got off the scale & I'm in tears, tears of joy!  I'm at 199.8!!!!!  I'm down 36 pounds in 8 weeks.  I guess that's an average of 4.5 pounds per week.  If I keep up that average I should be at my goal of 130 by the end of 6 more months, which would be right around Christmas time.  What a great present to myself that would be!!!!!  It's really hard to imagine that I could actually get to my goal.  This still all seems so very surreal.

Wow, below 200.  I'm in shock.  As some others have said in their posts, my body does not look or feel like it did the last time I was around this weight.  Granted that was about 5 years ago, but the clothes I have from that time don't fit like they did back then.  I'm not complaining by any means, but it's really quite different.  I still feel so squishy all over.  I hope that will resolve itself as time passes & my body adjusts itself.  Maybe once I get to goal & have been there for a while things will firm up.  At least that's what I'm counting on!!!!!

So far nothing I've eaten since being given the green light has bothered me at all.  And, yes, I know how lucky I am in this regard.  Just in the last couple of weeks I've started to feel some hunger.  But I know without a doubt it's not head hunger & that's a very good thing.  I was hoping that I would be lucky enough to never feel hunger again, but looks like that won't happen.  But I can certainly handle a little hunger, & it's definitely just a little.  And only if I haven't eaten in a very long time.  Maybe that's a good thing in itself - reminding me I need to consume nutrition!!!

I'm trying really hard to make sure I get all my protein in each day & I'm doing great at it.  Most of my meals consist of 1-2 ounces of a meat or other protein & a couple of tablespoons of a veggie or fruit.  Once in a while I throw in a little pasta or whole wheat bread.  And of course I still have my Lean Dessert protein shake every day.  YUMMY!  I'm keeping a log of all my meals & vitamins.  This has helped me stay on track, I'm sure.  I'm walking 2 miles in 40 minutes M-F but I still haven't added in any resistance training.  Not sure what I'm waiting on!!

Life is good!  I'm feeling so, so, so much better.  Praise God for these blessings!!!!!!!

Well, the nut said I could possibly lose 30 pounds in the first 6 weeks & I just laughed at her.  I couldn't imagine such a thing happening to me.  But it did!!!!  30 pounds gone in 6 weeks.  Sounds like one of those ads for some magic weight loss pill or potion on late night TV.  I never dreamed it would actually be MY reality.

I'm feeling better & better every day.  The tiredness is finally starting to subside, just this week actually.  I'm getting in about 4-5 days of walking each week, depending on how my right hip cooperates.  The nut said I need to start adding in resistance training now.  I'm already starting to see the "bat wings" on my arms.  That's kind of scary because I've never had that when I've lost weight before.  And the rest of me feels quite squishy!!!  Like all the fat is just loose in there.  I hope with time it will all firm up.  I really, really, really don't want another surgery!!!!

I have been so very blessed through this process so far.  I've yet to throw up & still only a couple of bouts of nausea.  I see so many posts from folks that are having such a hard time & I just feel so bad for them.  It surely makes me realize how lucky I've been.  Of course I have followed the docs directions to the "T" & I'm sure this has helped.

Today I tried on some jeans that I bought a couple of years ago to motivate me during one of my many diets - they're a regular size 18 - and they fit perfectly!!!!  I could even sit down in them comfortably.  I was so stunned I nearly cried.  I knew I was down a couple of sizes, but that was just so unexpected.  I was just going to see how far up my big butt they'd go & then whammo they were on & buttoned.  What a great feeling that was.  I can't wait to do that with a size 6!!!!!!!!!!  I just wish my top half was the same size but I guess it'll even out eventually.

I'm really starting to look forward to what's to come.  My next big goal is to be below 200 of course, & then the next big milestone will be 185.  That's what I weighed when we got married in 1986 & Greg has never seen me below that weight.  I wonder how he'll respond?  He's been very happy for me so far & very supportive.  What a big difference from before the surgery!!!!!

I gotta go & get something accomplished today.

20 pounds lighter & loving it!   Yeah for me!!!!

Things are going well so far, knock on wood!!!!!  I'm following the prescribed program to the letter & have only had 2 bouts of nausea so far & no vomiting.  I'm eating well & getting in all my protein on most days.  Some days I just run out of time so instead of a 3rd meal I'll go ahead & just have another protein drink.  Yesterday I actually had a 1/2 piece of trimmed & toasted whole wheat bread!!!  Boy was it luscious.  I'm mostly eating turkey & fish, but have had some chicken too.  My favorite meal right now is 2TB smooth no-sugar peanut butter, 2TB no-sugar applesauce, splenda & 1/2 of a scoop of protein powder.  Yumm-o!!!  What a treat that is!

I'm also getting in my walking, even though my right front hip is still hurting like crazy.  Day before yesterday I did a 40-minute walk!!!  I'm trying to gradually increase the time to 45 minutes per day.  Then I'll start adding in weight training, too.  Not sure where I'll go for that yet, whether I'll join the gym again or try to do it at home or what...

I'm finding that I need the B12 tablets everyday.  The dietician said I should only need 2000mg per week & that I could take them every other day, but I just don't have any energy if I don't take them every day.  I guess everyone is different for sure!

So far the best part of this whole thing has been the mental freedom from food.  I'm not feeling guilty when I eat now, which I never realized how much guilt I was feeling whenever I ate anything, apparently.  I'm not obsessing about what my next meal will be & whether or not I'll be in control of the volume I consume.  This is really, really amazing.  And I'm not worried if the scale doesn't move for a few days because I know I'm doing all the right things & that it will move eventually.  Sometimes I think Dr. Hart actually did brain surgery instead of the bypass!!!  I really, really, really hope these feelings last forever.

Today marks 12 days since my surgery!  Whoo Hoo!!!!!!  I'm on the losing side finally.  Everything went well (knock on wood) with the surgery.  But this bronchitis has really kicked my butt!!!!  I haven't been this sick in at least 10 years or more.  I'm still amazed that they actually did my surgery.  I tried & tried to get them to give me something in the hospital for this stuff, but they just ignored the "cold" part of it.  I finally got antibiotics from my PCP on TH of last week & am just now beginning to feel half-way human again!!!!  I know I won't be myself until I get off this 10-day supply of them, so I'm counting the days.  5 more to go.

Eating has been ok - just so NOT hungry.  Not craving foods.  Not wanting to eat at all.  Sometimes it seems like I'm having to force myself to eat.  I hope this part, at least, lasts forever!!!!  They say sometimes people really don't get their appetite back & I hope & pray I'm one of them.  What a complete & utter difference from before.  It's like I've been invaded by a pod person or something.  Just too cool.

And the good news is that as of my 1 week follow-up appointment last TH I had already lost 11 pounds!!!!!!!  Dr. Hart said when was the last time you lost 11 pounds in 1 week?  He had a point there!!!  I know that the amount will slow down, but this is just amazing so far.

I'm really looking forward to getting my energy back & feeling like myself, only revised.  I'm still having a little light-headedness, so it's still a little scary to do much driving.  I know this will pass & may even be a side effect of the antibiotic.  I know each day has been better than the last & that each one will get better from here.  Yeahhhhh for me!!!!

Well, here it is the day before surgery, finally!  And wouldn't you know it, I woke up coughing up stuff out of my lungs.  I can't believe this is happening.  I have been so ready to get this over with & now this.  I'm just hoping & praying that all will be well by tomorrow morning (or really late tonight. :>)) since I have to be at the hospital by 6am.

I went to see Dr. Hart yesterday for pre-op instructions & to the hospital to meet with the anesthesia department.  Everyone at the hospital is just so wonderful.  But I think I made Dr. Hart mad at me when I asked him why they didn't prescribe 10 days of blood thinners when you go home? ( I read in WLS Lifestyles Magazine about a study that said this practice reduces the chance of blood clots to 0%.)  He seemed to get really indignant about me asking & said that he's never had anyone get a blood clot & that this is just a routine surgery for them!!!!!  He said I know it's not for you & I certainly let him know that NO, this is not routine surgery for me!  I'm glad that he's so confident, but I felt like he should have been a little more understanding about my questions.  I think he really doesn't like me very much.  I don't really care as long as he is the best surgeon possible, and I know he is.

Today I'm finishing up things like laundry, putting receipts into Quicken, last minute grocery shopping, post office, bank, get a gift card for a birthday, and stuff like that.  I'm sure it's good for me to be really busy today so I can keep my mind off what might happen tomorrow.

It really hit me this morning when I couldn't have anything but clear liquids for breakfast that life is going to be really, truly different from this point on.  It was a very profound realization.  Hit me like a ton of bricks.  I wasn't ready for that kind of reaction, but maybe it's better to get it over with now instead of when I get home. :>)

Tonight will be the "before" pictures & measurements.  Oh joy!  At least I know it will only get better from here!!!!!!  See ya on the other side...

Wow, I just read my last post & I must have been really, really pissed!  All this trying to deal with actual feelings is still new to me!  But at least I didn't "eat my feelings" this time, I blogged instead.  Maybe this is going to be my new way of learning how to deal with feelings.  I've always read that writing can be quite cathartic & that many therapists recommend journaling.  Could they actually know what they're talking about?

Well, I'm getting down to the wire now.  Only 5 more days of the "old" me left.  I still have a few things to do on my pre-op list, like vacuum & dust, get the laundry done, grocery shop for DH (Lord knows I won't be eating anything for a while!) & stuff like that.  Hope it all gets done!

I just have to mention too that 'm still amazed at people's varied responses when I tell them I'm having this surgery - most people are just so doggone flip about it, like it's no big deal at all.  Someone even asked me if that was outpatient surgery!  I guess most people are just not informed.  And they certainly have no idea how much soul searching & research goes into such a permanent life-changing decision!!!!  I still get the looks from people that think I'm taking the easy way out.  If only they had any idea...  At least I do.

Gotta run, get to the grocery store, the pharmacy, etc. today.  It's such beautiful weather that this will be most pleasant today!!!!!

was very interesting, to say the least.  It was Rachel's first day back from vacation to San Diego & she was a little discombobulated (her words, not mine).  She was running late - my appointment was for 9am & I think it was about 20 after when I got called back.  Plus there was another gentlemen that was called back with me!!!!!!!  I had no inkling that this was going to be a group appointment - what a shock that was.  And a big disappointment!  She brought us back to her office, handed us both a print-out of a power point presentation & rushed through the info that was on the pages.  I felt very cheated by this whole procedure, to say the least.  She didn't even tell us about not drinking through a straw - I had to ask.  What would have happened to the other guy if I hadn't asked that question?  What other information did we miss out on that she was in too big of a hurry to tell us?

This seems to be the biggest complaint that I've had with Dr. Hart's office - that the information you need to get through this process with the best possible outcome has just not been forthcoming.  I think his process is still geared to the days when he required patients to read that book.  I plan to address this with Dr. Hart after my surgery.  I plan to put all my suggestions in writing & present them to him & offer to help him fix the issues.  I know he's one of the best surgeons, but his office procedures could sure use some updating!!!!

Anyway, looks like it'll be pretty hard to get in all that protein & water the first few weeks.  I ordered my Unjury tonight, so hopefully that'll get here before next week, or at least by the time I get home from the hospital.

Well, I got the call this morning about 10:15am from Latonya at Dr. Hart's office that he had signed off on everything so it was time to schedule surgery.  Wow, after all this time it's finally happening.  She set up my date as April 23, 2008.  Just a little less than 2 weeks from now.  I can't believe it.

I have to see Rachel on the 15th, Dr. Hart on the 21st, anesthesiologist on the 21st, then surgery on the 23rd.  Thank you Lord!  Now I just hope all goes well & that I don't get so nervous that I can't sleep between now & then.

Now the question is who do I want to tell?  I've already told several of my really good friends, but do I want to announce it to my church, my quilting group, my poker group???  I know one thing for sure, I'm certainly not going to tell my mother before it happens.  She'd drive herself crazy between now & then!!!  Not to mention me too.

So now the real anticipation starts...