lonake
My story....okay, where do I begin? My name is Rhonda, I'm 44 years old, I'm the mother of two sons, Alan,20, and Matt, 17. Matt has Autism, Al is in the Army. I've been a single mom for 20 years, twice married, twice divorced, (Ugh)! And am looking forward to a new, better, more productive life after being morbidly obese for the past 20 years. I was approved on 10-19-06 by BCBS of IL for lap-band surgery. I am currently waiting for a surgery date, which I was told would possibly in December....(Ugh), again.... There are many things I won't miss about being severely obese. People staring at me while I eat, tight clothes, struggling to get in and out of my car, being out of breath when I walk or bend. But this is not at all about looking cute for me. It is about my very survival. I've researched this surgery for the last two years, and I AM READY!!!!!! I'll keep you all posted......Peace and Blessings,
YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! I've got a date!!!!!!
I'm scheduled for surgery on January 11th, 2007 and I can't wait!!! I was sure this day would never come. The best part about this journey is that I will NEVER come this way again. This is not another quick fix, diet pill drama, or weight loss scheme. This is a new way to a new life, and it's by God's grace that I have been able to come this far. HE is my peace, my provision and my strength. I could never love another more....
Wouldn't you know it??? I just finalized my 2nd divorce yesterday, and I've met a man who LOVES big women. Well, he'll just have to adjust to the new me, because I am on a mission! I haven't old him about my surgery yet, becaue it's none of his business! For once I need to put myself on my own, "to do" list. I talked to my surgeon last week and he told me that my iron levels were down. I'm not the least bit concerned, because I am going to get my levels up in time and on time before my surgery, and not a devil in hell can stop me!
Okay, tomorrow is my big day to "break on through to the losing side"!!! I am amazed at how unafraid I am. But wait a minute...I know better than to be afraid....."His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me!" I didn't sleep at ALL last night because my 21 year old son who is in the Army called and told me his unit is deploying to Afghanistan on the 21st of this month. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! But it's all good, my son sounds so confident and brave....he said, "Momma, don't you cry now, I'll be fine!" I glad he's gonna be fine..because I'm a mess!
I am so grateful to all of my new friends and angels who have wished me well and are praying for me. You all are awesome!!!! I won't be able to return any emails until next week when I get back to work, but I'll take you all in spirit with me tomrrow at 9am...... To all of you who are just getting started, trying to get approval, don't give up!!!!! See you all on the "losing side"!!!
Peace and Blessings,
Rhonda
01/18/07
Praise God!!!! I made it!!!!!! Yeeee-haaaww!!!!
I'm sitting here at work, sipping on some hot cocoa....(couldn't drink this before surgery, because of lactose intolerance), snickering at all my co-workers who haven't seen me since last week. You can see the shocked look on some of their faces, like they wanna ask me something so badly, but their afraid or ashamed to.....I know....I shouldn't laugh, but damn! this feels good!!!
Okay.....about my procedure. this time last week... all the people in the operating room were playing, "find the vein on the fat girl"! game. Let's just say this was NOT fun for me. Here's the deal....when you are NPO (nothing by mouth), for a certain amount of time, your veins run away when a needle is stuck into them. Add that to a person who is already a hard stick anyway, well I got stuck I think a total of 8 times before they got a vein. My surgeon was the only one who was able to get my IV in. Thank God for Dr. Marvin!!!!!! He told me, "well Ms Austin, we can try to put this in or we may have to come back and try another day...But I'm pretty good at this so I can get the IV in". I told him, NO!!...go ahead and do it. He made it on the first try. All I remember after that was waking up.... The nurse asked me if I was in pain, and all I could do was point to my belly. She shot me up and then I was happy as I could be.....talking to everyone, thank them for letting me squeeze their hands before surgery, and just basically happy to be alive!!!
They took me to my room, gave me some ice chips, took my vitals, and told me that as soon as I was ready, I could get up and walk. I said, I'm ready to walk now!!! I walked down the hall twice, praising God all the way. I stayed at the hospital until I was able to pee, (sorry to be gross),about 4pm, then I went home. I was so excited to be out of there, I was calling my friends!! They were so shocked that I was on the phone, even though I was HIGH and hoarse from the pain meds and anesthesia.
The first thing I drank was some beef broth and it felt sooooo good going down. I lost 7lbs in the first three days, and now I'm down 21lbs!!!! I had to move my boobs out of the way so I could see if I was reading the scale was right!!!! hahahahaha!!! I got really depressed on the second day, then I later realized that this was a side effect from the anesthesia also. I'm also sorry to say that the "head hunger" was REALLY bad for the first four days. But, I said to myself....would I rather eat something I shouldn't and run the risk of blocking my pouch or satisfy my emotional need to eat??? I opted for the sensible solution.....because I hate throwing up!!! They put a little bulb catheder?? under my skin to treat my incisions and I removed it myself after three days....It was weird,.....like carrying around a little baby around. I couldn't bathe for two days, but the hardest part about that was thinking that someone else could smell me! I'm just paranoid about body odor, I guess. My first shower was so enjoyable, I think I stayed in there about an hour! I felt better sitting in a chair instead of lying down, because after my body came back to life...I felt like a truck had hit me, real flu-like symptoms....(I was told by the post-op nurse that this was normal), but it was scary, because I had to cough and it hurt like AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
So today, I'm having my first MEAL since surgery. Salmon and green beans.....I have to chew, chew, chew....and I'll probably get about five or six bites down before I start feeling uncomfortable. I am truly learning a new way to eat and enjoy food. (Yes, I said enjoy)! The hospital, (Methodist in Houston), gave me a bagfull of goodies to take home, along with a Pedometer. Today before work, I climbed two flights of stairs....no way I could do this last week. I've all but thrown away my Asthma inhaler, and my blood pressure is lower. I actually curled my hair and put on make-up before I went to work this morning. (I used to wait until I got to work to do this because my back hurt too much to stand up in the mirror for over 10 minutes).
I started trying on old clothes last week, and I have gone from wearing a size 30/32 to a size 26. I'm cleaning out my closet next week....because I can!!!!!! Woooo hoooo!!!!
I hope I'm not talking too much.....Anyway, If I can help ease one person's fears, apprehensions, anxiety, etc. about having this surgery, then I'll talk till the cows come home!! More later....
Rhonda
1/29/07
Okay, that was not very smart...I just erased an entire paragraph! I'm 18 days post-op and I feel great except for this pain I feel at the "port" site. If I lay down the wrong way or stretch too much, it reminds me. It stings and hurts. At least twice I'm had to wear a bandage over it to ease the pain. I have heard from other "banders" that this is normal. I'm finding out constantly which foods I can no longer tolerate...and my first lesson was grits. I ate no more than two baby spoon fulls and felt like I was gonna die! I was not able to eat until much later in the day because that little bit got "stuck" in the opening of my pouch. So, I've learned two, ( well actually three) valuable lessons.... When the book says chew, chew, chew, your food.....you better chew! Second lesson is that sometimes the book is WRONG!! Even if it says you can tolerate grits, cream of wheat, oatmeal the second week post-op.....it's not always true. And the third lesson is.. hamburger patties are not your friend!!! They taste good..but they can get stuck!!!!
I'm still scared to eat bread or rice, although I can eat noodles. I'm sick to death of potatoes!!!! And to think,..that used to be my favorite food pre-op. Now I can't even tolerate four french fries!!!! Which is a good thing!!! I also have very little desire for Coca-cola anymore. It takes me two days to finish a 20 oz. Diet Coke with Lime....and diet soda is NASTY when it loses its fizz! I went three days last week before I realized I hadn't had any soda. Another thing that made me happy was that although I haven't lost any more signifant amounts of weight, I have not gained any back either!! I still need to increase my water intake, and have found the Fruit 2-0 water is easier to get down than just plain bottled water.
Now for the emotional stuff. I find myself many days scared to death to eat for fear of gaining all my weight back. I know I need to get my head right and stop this "stinkin thinkin" so I won't sabotge myself and gain stress weight. I want to be successful, but I have to keep reminding myself that I didn't become "morbidly obese" overnight, and it will take more than a night to get to my goal. I just have to remain prayerful and focus on the end of the race!!!
Talk to you all later,.....thanks for listening!
Rhonda
Pre-op: 305 Present: 286 Goal: 155
02/15/07
Hello all......
Well, I had my first fill yesteday morning. I was sooo ready to get it done that I took the whole day off from work. Well, actually, I DESPISE Valentine's Day....and that's the main reason I took off. But it helped to not have to beg for time off and have to rush back to work after a doctor's appointment. So I put on my skinny-leg, man-catching pants that I haven't worn since 2002, (yes, they are still in style), put on some make-up and got on my way. Sidebar: I really gotta get used to this attention from guys again..you know how you hope something will happen, and when it does, you're like, naw....never mind! For so MANY years, my fat was my protection against unwanted or wanted attention. I didn't have to worry that guys would notice me because of my size, and if they didn't look, I wouldn't have to worry about the rejection.
Okay, I digress.....my fill went well, felt a little weird, and I immediately felt more restriction which is what I wanted. Before my fill, I was able to eat a whole bagel, 1 egg and a sausage patty. That, for me, was too much food. I was sure I had gained the weight back that I had lost, but when I got on the scale, (after pulling off every piece of clothing I could), I had actually lost 2 more pounds. I was so happy, I wished I could have lost more, but was glad for the small victory. At my one week check-up, I was told that I might not lose any significant weight until my third fill, and might even gain some back before my first fill. That discouraged the heck out of me, but praise be to GOD that this was not the case. As I left the doctor's office, I looked up at the sky, started to cry and said...I'm on my way!!!!
Peace and Love,
Rhonda
305/286/284/ goal: 155
