LovelyMiracle

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199.4 was the weight on the scale at Dr. A's office.  It seems so surreal to me now and I'm so grateful.  I can't even put into words how I appreciate life.  I had gotten completely out of control with my eating for a good while and stopped losing the weight.  I stopped going to my surgeons office for follow up visits and was just doing everything under the sun that I know was wrong for my body and my "tool".  I decided to go to the doctor after my uncle said I looked to have gained 20 pounds...."around the hips" ...Seriously?...Anyway, went to see Dr. A and his disapproval was the motivation I needed to get back on track.  Cut snacking down to a bare minimum, get back on the protein shakes to rid myself of the carbohydrate withdrawals, cut out the sugar (even at starbucks...imagine that) 45 minutes in the gym everyday and stick to 3 meals a day...that's what I did and I've lost 10 pounds since last month's visit!  I have to keep this up because I will make my goal God willing.  I know this is really disjointed but my mind is going a mile a minute.  Be blessed family...

Okay so here I am 16 months out and loving life!!!  I've done so many things that I've never dreamed of and who knew that the key to an abundance of happiness is losing weight?  It's so much harder to lose the weight now and you can probably attribute that to me not working out as vigorously as I was.  You can partly blame my hectic new schedule for that.  Not making excuses but it's so hard to balance eating healthy, exercising, with a 13 hour work day. 

Some good news is I'm still pretty active.  I actually did the Law Enforcement Torch Run last Friday that helps the Special Olympics.  It felt so good to walk/jog miles without getting winded and wanting to just die from exhaustion.  All I know is that there's no feeling like it and I wouldn't trade this feeling for the world. 

My goal now is to lose another 20 pounds and then I'm focusing on maintaining and also saving for plastic surgery.  As you can see from the new pictures I've posted, my thighs, arms, and stomach really need attention.  I will not speak of my body in a negative way because I treasure it so much more than I've ever have but those areas seriously need work.  Since I've never had dumping syndrome I didn't have to worry about what I ate because it made me sick and this has proven to be the curse of all curses when it comes to this surgery.  Slowly but surely, sugar has found it's way back into my diet and I have to overcome these cravings with protein shake; helluva trick you guys came up with because it actually works, along with drinking tons of water!. 

I hope you all are doing well and pray that I get back on track with my tool.  I didn't do all of this for nothing and I promise to give more updates! 

Love you and God Bless,

Crystal

Now that I'm down 100 pds it's becoming really overwhelming for me.  Exciting but overwhelming.  Sitting here just now I had a moment of depression where I just cried.  It stemmed from me looking at some of pre-op pictures and seeing how large I was.  Then remembering how miserable I was compared to now.  It's really surreal. 

This morning I went to the gym and had an epiphany - I'm not a size 26/28 anymore.  When I packed my gym bag this morning I just grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt.  I put those pants on in the locker room and it was just a sea of fabric.  Seriously, I was swimming in the pants.  I was so amazed because before surgery these pants were tight!  I'm so thankful for my new opportunity and even in my moments of weakness that I've honestly had the last couple of months I can say that this surgery has changed my life.  Now in my 8th month I've decided to buckle down and get back on my regime.  It gets difficult because I can eat things that a lot of us cannot (sugar, starches, spicy)  so the only thing that helps me lose weight is the portion control and will power!  Pray for me everyone because I'm determined to get this weight off !

Weight loss surgery has been an interesting journey.  I feel wonderful and my life has taken a drastic turn.  Since 2/12 I've gotten on a plane, for the first time traveled outside of the MD/DC/VA/DE/PA area, and started to date a lot more.  We'll get to that last one later.  As you can see from the pictures I've posted, Vegas was awesome!  I felt so free out there and there was nothing to worry about.  Except for who was gonna buy the next round of margaritas.  Yes I drank margaritas! 

Shopping, a habit that has proven dangerous has had to take a back seat to other things.  I know everyone said that buying new clothes was redundant but did I listen.  No!  I'm finding that when I buy a pair of pants they are loose 2 weeks later.  I'm now pushing my sixth month and I haven't been to a follow up appointment with Dr. A since the end of May.  I'm kinda scared because I've slacked off a lot with the exercise but I'm trying to get back into the hang of things. 

Dating...I've come to the realization that guys are jerks and I wasn't really missing anything in the first place.   When I was heavier I never really dated that much and when I did it never amounted to anything.  Now I feel like an Eric Jerome Dickey novel.  I wish I could throw those bastards back where I found them.  I know my thoughts are scattered right now but I'm just typing.  Body wise I'm looking about the same just a smaller version.  It just seems like my arms aren't shrinking at all.  No matter what exercise I try to tone them nothing works.  It doesn't even look like I'm losing fat in those areas.  Something's gotta give.  If any of you have suggestions please let me know!  Pray for me as I do you and may we all be blessed!

1st - Put on a bathing suit for the first time in years!
2nd - Wear a size 18/20 dress - not since elementary school
3rd - Guys do a triple take when I walk by
4th - wear heels all day.  

I am SO loving this.  lol  I still haven't weighed myself since the last time but I'm dropping inches like crazy.  I feel my confidence going thru the roof and luckily I have God and my friends to keep me grounded. 

Okay okay - now I know it's been awhile since I've updated but a sistah has been working it out!  I went for my 3 1/2 (15wk) month post op visit and I'm down 62lbs!  18lbs from last month.  I am extremely happy and motivated to keep getting this weight off.  Everything is going fine so far and I'm eating and drinking fine.  Still trying to push this protein and water in so all in all I'm doing well. 

Okay I go in for my visit and I'm down 46lbs!  I have to admit that I was a little disappointed because I want so desperately to get out of the 300's.  I know weigh 303lbs and the Dr. assured me that I would be there in a couple days.  I try to hit the gym 4 days a week working on the treadmill and elliptical.   I will be trying a strength training class today just to pick up some pointers on what to do.  I'm still not too keen on working out with other people yet so this will be a big step for me.  Hopefully I don't chicken out before 11am. 

Okay okay---Still on purees and it sucks but the good thing is I'm walking like crazy.  My friends are walking me to death!  I'm extremely exhausted so I think I'm doing very well fighting that and still getting up.  I went to my appt today and I'm down to 323...15lbs down from my last follow up 2 wks ago.  I'm really starting to appreciate this surgery thing. 

At my 1 wk follow up visit I weighed in at 338--11lbs down from my surgery weight.  I'm so happy to be losing I don't know what to do.  It feels wonderful.  Its still a struggle changing from my old ways but I'm determined to do it!

Lord I thank you for all of your blessings and for allowing me to use this tool as a means of better myself. 

This week has not been an easy one to say the least.  I have been faced with uncertainty, nervousness, fear, PAIN, and hunger...head hunger no less but hunger indeed.  People that I know who have undergone this surgery have had the laparoscopic procedure but mine was an open surgery called a "mini-lap" which leaves a 3-4 inch incision.  My stomach felt like somebody ran over me with an 18-wheeler.  I had an incident with the morphine because I was itching hysterically.  The nurse had to come in and give me benadryl plus lotion my whole body with lotion.  They encouraged me to still use the morphine thru the pump but they just continued to give me benadryl.  Crazy!!!  The next couple of days in the hospital where filled with walking, walking, walking.  Around and around the nurses station which was boring but helpful.  I couldn't get comfortable in the bed so I tried to do my best and just sit in the chair for however long I could. 

When I got home the discomfort continued but it's a big difference being uncomfortable in your own house.  The biggest thing was getting up and down from my bed and since I couldn't lay on my sides my back is getting tired of me laying on it.  I've been experiencing hot and cold flashes throughout the night and of course the shivers.  Last night my mother decides to host a dinner party in which they had all this food that I couldn't have any of.  Of course I couldn't drive anywhere so I had to barracade myself in my room and try to thwart off the evil smells that is food.  Here I am on clear liquids and we have a house full enjoying the food that I could have not even a week ago.  I admit I cried over this and I had really terrible emotions questioning myself about "what did I do?"  Maybe once my mom lets me off house arrest I'll be able to stop thinking about it but it's just so hard because I'm surrounded by people with eating habits that are nothing like mine.  Not to mention the damn dreams about chicken and pizza that I've been having since the surgery.  Am I crazy?  Does someone other than me have these thoughts?  Well tomorrow I start my puree diet and I will be a lot happier with something more substantial to put in my mouth.  I can taste the oatmeal already...come on morning. 

On a lighter note I find getting used to my gurgles and giggles hilarious!  I'm like wow this is finally done.  Almost 9 months worth of hard work and it's here.  Hopefully I can skip these withdrawal symptoms from food and learn to enjoy this tool and the benefits of it.  Pray for me as I will you and may we all continue to be blessed

Weight on day of surgery:349