Dec 24, 2008Well, here goes. I am 36 years old and only vaguely remember not being the fat chick. I recently found some old pics from when I was a child and see that I was a little bit chubby in them, but nothing serious. I was involved in little league baseball, was constantly outside playing, riding my bike, swimming, etc. As I grew up and went through puberty, I became the fat girl. I couldn't fit into clothes that the "cool" girls were wearing. Nothing looked right on me. At my Bat Mitzvah and Jr. Prom, I had these big ugly dresses because nothing else fit me. Back then, you couldn't find anything pretty if you were above a size 12. Everything was made for old ladies. Now, thank goodness, they at least make pretty stuff for us. I was constantly picked on in school. I still participated in some sports activities-like volleyball and softball and even made the swim team. I was never any good at them, but still I tried. I was in the marching band and that required a lot of physical energy. So, what happened? How did I keep getting fatter even though I was doing all these physical activities? I guess life just caught up with me. When I went to college, I got involved with guys who just wanted one thing and they would find the girls with the lowest self esteem who thought it was a good thing if a guy wanted to sleep with you, even if that's all they wanted. It was not an experience I like to think about, but I thought it was fun at the time. Looking back, I can't believe I even did half the things I did. After college, I met a guy who again, wanted me for sex. I ended up getting pregnant, he cheated on me and I moved out of our house while I was 7 months pregnant. My beautiful daughter is the result of this failed relationship. At least there was something positive to gain from it. My daughter has been my reason for going on and becoming the woman I am today.
When she was 3 years old, I met a guy who tried to take me home the night we met and I stood up to him and said no. 6 months later, he asked me to marry him. He said it was because I didn't go home with him that night that showed him the kind of person I really am. Imagine that. A guy who was NOT just after the booty!! They DO exist! He took in my daughter and me and treated us like family. We have been married for 6 years.
I am at a totally different place in my life now, then when I met him. A much better place. I have found positive friends to surround myself with. We attend synagogue on a regular basis and I am involved as much as I can be with activities there. My daughter attends a great school and I help out there whenever I can get away from work. I also work from home, now, so I don't need to worry about daycare or who is going to pick her up from school or take her places.
Enough about that for now.. my surgery date is 2/23/09. I am doing the "healthy diet" thing for now. I have to cut out all sugars, carbs, etc.. and do an Atkins thing for 2 weeks prior and clear liquids for 2 days prior. The countdown is on.. I have about 60 days until my surgery and it seems like forever at times, and at other times it feels like it is tomorrow!! I am so excited to move on with my life in so many ways and am glad to have found this forum for support!
I look forward to becoming friends with many of you!!
Dec 19, 2008