Libby R.
I’ve been overweight my entire life! I was even born big (10.5 lbs, 24”) so I had a good “start” on life. I remember as far back as when I was 4 and had gotten a new one piece swimsuit. I was walking around the house trying to “suck in” my tummy so I didn’t look so fat compared to my thin, same-aged neighbor that had gotten an identical swimsuit.
I was fat all through high school and then in college I lost a lot of it. I remember buying clothes in a size 13/14 my freshman year of college and in my mind thinking “wow, they sure are making clothes bigger these days!” So I couldn’t even accept that I had lost weight. I think that weight loss came from living on campus and walking everywhere! Plus I was in swimming class for an easy Phys. Ed. Credit and when I couldn’t walk somewhere I would grab my bike because parking was tough to take my car anywhere. The first I realized I had lost weight was when my Mom came to visit me and complimented me on it. If only I could get back to that weight!
Once married, it went downhill (or should I say from the scales perspective---uphill) from there. I got very fat… highest weight I know of was 348. I didn’t get on a scale for years though, so who knows?!!? I got to the point that I felt so horrible about myself that I wouldn’t look anybody in the eye because I was afraid of the reflection of myself and disdain that I would get from someone thinking how disgusting I was.
I finally went back to work part time as the kids got older and my self esteem started escalated as I got braver talking to people! I learned that I wasn’t so bad after all. After my divorce I felt pretty okay about myself even though I was still weighing in around 300. I’m tall so that helps a bit, but I was still FAT. After a couple nasty break ups and lots of toads kissed, I’ve begged off of dating for the past 2 years. Now I feel sooooo bad about how I look, I’m back to staying at home all the time unless I have to take the kids somewhere, attend their school activities and go to work. Other than that, I stay home most of the time.
Spring 2008 the kids and I went on a cruise. I could barely buckle the seatbelt on the plane. I leg of the flight I struggled like mad to buckle it as I couldn’t bear to ask for an extender. Once we took off my leg fell asleep from it being so tight and I unbuckled it. For the landing the flight attendant asked if it was buckled and I lied and said yes. OMG… I kept praying that they didn’t have an electronic way to say it wasn’t buckled and come back to me. They prolly did, but didn’t want to deal with the FAT lady! Like all of you here, so many occasions of being too fat to do something. Embarrassment, hushed voices overheard, my children having to deal with it…..
Well, as they say, you have to hit bottom before you can start your way back up. With my doctor and the help of so many of you here… this just may be possible!!!!
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
