lswood_27
Hi! My name is Lindsey and I am from rural Iowa. I never dreamt that I would have a "story" to share with others in regards to my weight, I always just assumed that it would come off when the time was right. Little did I know that it wouldn't work out quite that way!
Like so many people, my "story" begins with a childhood of being heavy. I was always the kid that was called "fat" and teased at school. Being raised to respect others and their feelings, I often was in bewilderment as to why the other kids would make fun of me. I was also extremely shy as a child and never wanted to make trouble, therefore, I kept my feelings bottled up to myself. This followed me through the years, eventually causing me to sink into a major depression in high school. That was the point in which I really began to pack on the pounds. The weight gain continued on throughout college and into my adult life.
I never really thought of weight-loss surgery being an option for me; in fact, I actually at one point viewed people who had weight loss surgery as weak and lacking in self-control. I am ashamed to say it now, but I was, perhaps, more judgemental toward people using this tool to help change their lives, than the people who had ridiculed me in my youth. Ironically, I felt obliged to sit back and frown upon those who were attempting to better themselves through weight-loss surgery, while at the same time, I wasn't doing anything myself, to help better my struggle with weight. Crazy, huh??!!!! I'm not exactly sure where this judgement and bitterness came from; perhaps the many years of feeling badly about myself and the need to direct it toward someone else. At any rate, my attitude just plain stunk!!
My mom underwent gastric bypass surgery in 2005. Being stuck in a negative mind-frame, I was adamantely against her having this procedure. One of the reasons was because my grandmother had told her before she died that she didn't want her to have surgery. Being a retired nurse, I thought that my grandma knew it all in this area, thus I never questioned it. My mom had great results with her surgery and lost about 100 pounds. She also has gotten her diabetes under control and is off a lot of the medication she was previously on for high blood pressure.
My change of heart came about in 2008. I suddenly began having thoughts, such as, "What if I never get this weight off on my own?" I also had reached a point in my life in which I really wanted to have a baby. It really hit home in December 2008. I remember that I was in the car with my co-workers heading to a meeting near Omaha when suddenly it hit my like a lightening bolt: I wanted to have weight-loss surgery. The thought popped into my head as if it had been put there by God, Himself. As soon as I got to my hotel room, I called my mom to tell her. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get ahold of her, as it was late at night and she was already asleep. The whole next day during my meeting and through the 4 hour drive home I was crazy, out of my mind with anticipation to talk to my mom about my decision. As soon as I got home, I dashed over to my parents' house and my mom and I talked at great length about gastric bypass.
The whole process of meeting with the doctor, being approved for surgery through my insurance, and the actually surgery itself taking place happened over the course of about 4 months. I had RNY Gastric Bypass surgery on Friday, April 3, 2009 at 7:30 am. The day was such a whirl wind, as was my entire hospital stay. I was extremely blessed that everything went perfectly and that I didn't have any complications. I truly feel that I got my life back the day I had surgery! I can't begin to describe the weight which was lifted off my shoulders. Suddenly, food didn't matter anymore and I was free from it's strong-hold!!
I am now 2 years post-op and have lost about 180 pounds. I am so greatful for this second chance I've been given to live a healthy life. I am also EXTREMELY greatful for the change of heart I have undergone. I find now that I have an overwhelming depth of compassion for people, regardless of their situation. As embarrassed as I am by my previous attitude on weight-loss surgery, I am thankful for the lesson that I've learned. Stepping into the future as a baraiatric patient, I feel optimistic and look forward to what lies ahead for me. Wherever this road leads me, I plan to pay it forward every chance I can. One of the greatest things I've learned throughout this whole experience is the fact that there is always hope!! You don't have to be trapped in a body and a lifestyle that is destructive. As long as you are willing to make a change in your life, there is a way out. This is the message I hope to give others out there that are in the same place I once was. Weight-loss surgery has been my saving grace, and for that I will always be thankful.
