Day 22 Post-op

Mar 03, 2009

I feel quiet inside me. It is a reflective time. I keep thinking, okay now what? I think I expected to have this big revelation as to what would make my life perfect and happy. Instead I find myself contemplating all the things that brought me to a surgery that rearranged my insides. I don't regret my decision these thoughts confirm why I needed to do something so life altering to regain who I am as well as to redesign my self to live without food in an unhealthy lifestyle. Those days are now long gone and I couldn't be happier. However, it is hard to change 52 years of eating being the core of my existence. Now I have to search for the me I want to be at the core of my existence. Okay so maybe I am getting bored sitting around here all day and I usually have as many as 28 nursing assistant candidates in a day to occupy my work day thoughts and now it is just me and the dogs. LMAO  contemplation time is good I guess.
I can not wait for spring, being able to get my kayak out onto the water. Peaceful and serene it is a great place for reflection. Feeling the strength in my arms as I move my kayak through the water. I miss the water spray as the boat breaks through the waves. I miss being on the water during these cold months. I need cold weather hobbies.  Need to pull out my glass working supplies.

I am freezing cold. This is a change from the past when I was so warm all the time. I find I put on sweats and have layers of clothes underneath. I move around frequently and I am still freezing cold. I have 3 blankets on my bed.. thank goodness I have bought extras  I keep the house turned up to 74 when no one is here and it is still cold. I am going hate payin that gas bill this month. But I am sooooo... cold.

I am getting in all my protein, love that Pro Complex! The water is iffy at best. I love ricotta cheese and spaghetti sauce SF. I am still on the pureed diet and I do not like pureed salmon.  I am enjoying 30 minutes a day of exercise on my WI fit or walking.

I guess I am doing great. LMAO.

I am grateful that I am able to see myself  and not feel like I need to hide parts of myself from others.
I am grateful that the elastic in the legs of  my underwear are loose now LMAO.
I am grateful for the people who love me and stand by me.
I am grateful for the smile and laughter God places on my face each day.

Life only gets better each day.

3 Comments