4th Day Post-op

Feb 13, 2009

Well this was quite the journey beginning.  It started off the day before surgery where everything that could make for a bad day seem to happen. It was to the point my sister said you should just go home and go to bed before something else comes along. LMAO     It was just one of those days where you just got caught in people's bad moods and mistakes. Oh well. The worst of it was when I found a call on my cell phone at 6 pm from the hospital business office asking me to call them before 4 PM  to solve a problem. Hmmmm should I be concerned since the business office closed at 5 pm? Am I still scheduled for surgery? What could the problem be?

The morning of surgery I got to the hospital at 6:30 am not knowing whether my 8:30 am surgery was to be cancelled or delayed. It seems somehow my insurance paperwork indicated I was having the surgery at another hospital and with another physician. Fortunately the bariatric clinic had gotten this straightened out already. So I stayed up all night worrying for nothing. Life lesson: don't jump to conclusions, learn to wait and see because you might not be so tired the next day LMAO.

My surgery went well. The recovery a little hairy. Okay if you have sleep apnea before surgery tell them if you don't put the ole CPAP on right away, you will drop your oxygen levels and turn blue.  I woke up to the nurse shaking me and yelling take a deep breath, take a deep breath in a very high toned, urgent voice. After this occurring several times I woke up enough to say to her if you put my cpap on I won't do that anymore and that was the end of that! However because of that I didn't get a pain med pump but I did get an apnea monitor that would beep if I dozed off without that darned CPAP.

On the unit my pain was not to bad. I did have extreme pain in my left shoulder, to the point I could not use my left arm to help myself sit up or roll side to side. The nurse brought me a warm pack and that provided excellent relief and helped to move the gas that typically moves into this area.

I recieved excellent care while in the hospital. The nursing staff there was very knowledgeable and caring. I went home my first post-op day but would recommend to anyone stay there the additional day if you can. The bed is more comfortable and you have people to help you manage your pain and help with the food and protein.

These past several days at home have been tough. They will get better because I am not about to not enjoy this new life God has blessed me with. I have had a lot of bloating and gas. Using Gas X strips and walking, walking, walking. Day 3 was miserable. I couldn't drink enough, I was trying to eat. I went to bed and bawled! Today seems much brighter. My pain is much less. I a not starting off with a stomach that looks like I am 9 months pregnant so the gas must be moving out. Today I am using a 2 ounce shot glass for fluids and protein and we will see how that goes. Life lesson: learn to take a moment and call it a day.

 

Starting weight 336/surgery-288/goal160

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Okay so it felt like my heart would pop out my mouth!

Feb 06, 2009

Nurse called me at work with the time for my surgery. Now I knew this was coming but I didn't realize the reality rush I was in for LMAO. So Tuesday at 6:30 am I have to be at the hospital for my 8:30 surgery. I am glad this will be done right away I think I am going to be very nervous
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Day 9 of the liquid diet

Feb 04, 2009

I am still sane, haven't bitten anyone, and feeling lighter. 5 more days to go well and then it is liquids until I can eat food hmmmm.... lmao I can't believe I let myself think this was going to be so difficult. I believe I can make the life style changes that I will need to now.
I am so looking forward to having my surgery and starting a much thinner life and it is so close. I am thankful for the people and support I have found on this site.

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Day 6 of Liquid Diet

Jan 31, 2009

Well I am surviving this liquid diet. The sweet taste of the Slimfast drinks are getting old so I will try the Carnation Instant Breakfast Sugarfree. Continuing to work on my head hunger. Steak Tacos are my focus lmao. Oh well those tacos aren't going to be the center of my universe again. I will be replacing them with physical activities, like, tying my shoes and breathing, sitting with my legs crossed on my thigh not quickly hooked on my knee. My body feels lighter and I wonder how it will feel to be thin.
My sister is great. She has really been supportive. Making sure to try and not eat at the house. I keep trying to tell her I will be okay and it is better to know now if it will make me crazy not eating the same foods as everyone else. Can't escape what you will have to deal with once the surgery is done.
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COUNTDOWN: Liquid Diet Day 4 and 11 days until surgery

Jan 29, 2009

Well today is day 4. I am not hungry, irritable, headachey. I feel great and have lost 5 pounds so far. I think by this time next week I will think if I have to drink another slimfast I will scream but I will have to drink more of them since it is a 2 week liquid diet.  I do have some head hunger but I can talk myself out of it. I am hoping that it stays this easy until my surgery.  If it doesn't I will deal with it and be okay. Anxious, excited, nervous, scared all the emotions I feel as I go through each day whenever I think about my surgery. I tell myself it is okay to feel these feelings if I didn't do it over my surgery I would put it into another area of my life. Today I feel motivated and strong.
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14 days to go and Day one of the LIQUID DIET

Jan 27, 2009

Okay I admit, I ate my favorite food yesterday. Okay fine I overate on my favorite foods. I didn't plan to do the last meal thing but all the sudden I had this since of losing these foods I loved forever. So what did I have? Tater tot casserole LMAO... of all the foods that is the one I chose. After I was done I looked at my empty plate and said "good bye tater tot casserole I might miss you." Well I couldn't be sure I would miss it because I have heard my taste will change and maybe this is a food I will not like. I realized then that it really is just food and maybe I won't miss food like I that insecure part of me thinks. It is all the head stuff, Tricia deal with it.  It is hard letting go of the mentality that I failed on so many diets before this one so this just might be another failure. The difference is that I have the knowledge and support I need to be successful and to win this battle with food. I just need to keep reminding myself of this. Yikes I sound so insecure. Food is the only area of my life I come across that way...

So I went to bed and I woke up full of anticipation of the days to come. I packed up my bottles of l SF instant breakfast, SF juice, and V8 and headed off to work. I left the left over tater tot casserole in the fridge and thought if Shane doesn't eat your today your headed for the garbage disposal. 

My fears of waking up this morning and saying " I will just eat one more day then start my diet" are gone. My goal for the next couple of weeks is to wake up each morning I am on this liquid diet and be thankful that I don't have to let Mr. Tater-tot casserole control what goes into my body. I control that. I am ready to exert my control over food. I will take this one moment at a time because I deserve this life. I deserve the joy and happiness losing all this poundage will bring to me. I AM WORTH IT!.
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Less than 3 weeks to go! My own personal pep talk.

Jan 20, 2009

I bought a couple of new nities. I have my vitamins. I am prepared to start my liquid diet in just 1 week. I have read my WLS for Dummies. I keep telling myself you like slim fast yummo it is good. You will learn to love it alot girl after you drink it for 2 weeks. Oh well could be worse I could have to drink beet juice for 2 weeks.
I have changed so much in this process. I haven't drank soda for 8 months and I don't even miss it. I do miss potato chips but I am not wanting to go and buy them so I must be okay there.  I am not binging and I am dealing with tons of stress right now. DID you hear that... I am dealing with stress without binging.
I now realize my life would not be over without this surgery. Something that would have devastated me in the beginning of this process.  I have some great tools to keep me going. I have the support I need to take this weight off. I can now see how I can use this surgery as a tool to control my weight, (beat my genetics) something I couldn't see before. I am so much stronger inside than I have ever been before. I look forward to this surgery and a better life afterwards. I  find it easier to believe I don't have to be a fat person any longer (YES I said the "f" word  and said it aloud too!) I have learned my weight had nothing to do with food it was my shield, my impenetrable fortress it keep the world away from me. Or so I thought, truth is all it did was keep me from feeling anything. Now I let myself feel those emotions and I have to say what was the big deal. Why did I hide from my feelings?  What have I missed and will now get to experience since I am coming out of hiding. I am no longer afraid of stepping out from beneath all these layers of what isn't even me.
I am afraid of how it will feel after the operation. Will I have pain, lotsa of nausea. I hope not, I plan to go into this wih a positive mind set. I felt okay after a c-section hysterectomy and was up walking by evening and out in 2 days taking care of a baby. I can handle the discomfort. Will I feel grief for the foods I will be giving up? If I do I will just have a good cry over it... better add kleenex to my list. I worry that I will be grossed out over my body but I will just remind myself that hey at 52 years of age things aren't going to look so great anyways. Well and there is always plastic surgery So why do I need this pep talk... because I want me to tell myself you are as strong as you think. I will be okay.
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January 13, 2008

Jan 13, 2009

Less than a month away from my surgery.  My sister, my support person for this surgery is now getting cold feet. She understands I could die from my obesity, she is really afraid I will die during the surgery. I keep trying to convince her that I am in pretty decent health. This is the best time for me to have surgery before my co-morbidities become a major health crisis.
I love ya sis, but this is something I am doing for me. I want off the merry go round that keeps adding more and more weight to my body each time I take it off. I am much stronger emotionally now  and I don't need food to control my life any more. I now need a stomach that doesn't want me to fill it up so much. 
27 days until I am re-born.

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January 7th, 2009

Jan 07, 2009

I am finding it easier to look in the mirror and like myself of late. The weight has to go that is for sure but I am starting to realize the weight has nothing to do with me. I wish my feet didn't hurt so much because there would be no stopping me. I realize am so much more than this fat that invades my body and my organs. I can't wait to break free from its awful hold on my body and my mind. I keep wondering what it will be like to be active again. Chasing my sweet lil Oreo around in the yard I can picture his big ears perked up, his goofy lil face with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. I know he would be so happy to go on long walks, what a wonderful creature because right now he is okay with just hanging out with me.  Thank goodness he is a lil dog and can run and play in the house.

I am thankful for this upcoming surgery and the life it will be giving me. I refuse to die during or after this surgery because I DESERVE TO HAVE THIS NEW LIFE AND ENJOY IT!
I plan on
1-Taking Oreo on long walks
2-Playing with my upcoming grandchild who should be here in April. I should be able to keep up with him/her when they are a toddler
3-Getting out of a closed cock pit Kayak without having to tip the boat over and fall out of the boat
4-Taking my kayak on moving water and not worry about having the boat capsize and me drowning as I swim to a shoreline
5- Sitting  with my legs crossed, breathing at the same time and looking great while I do this.
6- Wearing underwear that doesn't have the waist elastic so tight that they roll down
7-Bending over to garden
8-Bragging to anyone and everyone who will listen how my feet feel great
9-Getting rid of my cpap or at least having one with lower pressure.
10-Dancing on a wet lawn without fear of falling.

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January 2 and the reality of it all has hit home

Jan 02, 2009

Well I have a big dose of fear today. I know this is normal but darned it is intense. Questions arise such as am I sure I want to permanently alter my body or what will my health be like in 10 years from the malabsorption syndrome that is a consquence of the surgery. Will I be miserable over losing the food.

I have tried to look at this from both sides the good and the bad. I appreciate hearing about the negative parts but it has increased my fear too! I believe my apprehension comes from knowing I need this surgery desperately and wishing that I had other options that I believed would help me take this weight off my body. At 52 years of age I haven't and hundreds of diets and gimmicks later nothing has worked. 

I am an optimist at heart but I am also a realist. The nurse part of my brain tells me this is the best decision I can make for myself.  I know I really don't have a choice. I have lost weight in the past but always regained it. I lack faith in myself and this is what prompts me towards this surgery. I know statistically the odds of keeping the weight off without surgery are very low 1-5% so that prompts me towards this surgery. I know I will feel so physically whole after the surgery and the weight comes off and that prompts me towards this surgery. But the non-nurse part of me says Help I am scared today.
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About Me
WI
Location
36.2
BMI
RNY
Surgery
02/10/2009
Surgery Date
Nov 21, 2008
Member Since

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