lucystarr2006
4th Day Post-op
Feb 13, 2009
Well this was quite the journey beginning. It started off the day before surgery where everything that could make for a bad day seem to happen. It was to the point my sister said you should just go home and go to bed before something else comes along. LMAO It was just one of those days where you just got caught in people's bad moods and mistakes. Oh well. The worst of it was when I found a call on my cell phone at 6 pm from the hospital business office asking me to call them before 4 PM to solve a problem. Hmmmm should I be concerned since the business office closed at 5 pm? Am I still scheduled for surgery? What could the problem be?
The morning of surgery I got to the hospital at 6:30 am not knowing whether my 8:30 am surgery was to be cancelled or delayed. It seems somehow my insurance paperwork indicated I was having the surgery at another hospital and with another physician. Fortunately the bariatric clinic had gotten this straightened out already. So I stayed up all night worrying for nothing. Life lesson: don't jump to conclusions, learn to wait and see because you might not be so tired the next day LMAO.
My surgery went well. The recovery a little hairy. Okay if you have sleep apnea before surgery tell them if you don't put the ole CPAP on right away, you will drop your oxygen levels and turn blue. I woke up to the nurse shaking me and yelling take a deep breath, take a deep breath in a very high toned, urgent voice. After this occurring several times I woke up enough to say to her if you put my cpap on I won't do that anymore and that was the end of that! However because of that I didn't get a pain med pump but I did get an apnea monitor that would beep if I dozed off without that darned CPAP.
On the unit my pain was not to bad. I did have extreme pain in my left shoulder, to the point I could not use my left arm to help myself sit up or roll side to side. The nurse brought me a warm pack and that provided excellent relief and helped to move the gas that typically moves into this area.
I recieved excellent care while in the hospital. The nursing staff there was very knowledgeable and caring. I went home my first post-op day but would recommend to anyone stay there the additional day if you can. The bed is more comfortable and you have people to help you manage your pain and help with the food and protein.
These past several days at home have been tough. They will get better because I am not about to not enjoy this new life God has blessed me with. I have had a lot of bloating and gas. Using Gas X strips and walking, walking, walking. Day 3 was miserable. I couldn't drink enough, I was trying to eat. I went to bed and bawled! Today seems much brighter. My pain is much less. I a not starting off with a stomach that looks like I am 9 months pregnant so the gas must be moving out. Today I am using a 2 ounce shot glass for fluids and protein and we will see how that goes. Life lesson: learn to take a moment and call it a day.
Okay so it felt like my heart would pop out my mouth!
Feb 06, 2009
Day 9 of the liquid diet
Feb 04, 2009
I am so looking forward to having my surgery and starting a much thinner life and it is so close. I am thankful for the people and support I have found on this site.
Day 6 of Liquid Diet
Jan 31, 2009
My sister is great. She has really been supportive. Making sure to try and not eat at the house. I keep trying to tell her I will be okay and it is better to know now if it will make me crazy not eating the same foods as everyone else. Can't escape what you will have to deal with once the surgery is done.
COUNTDOWN: Liquid Diet Day 4 and 11 days until surgery
Jan 29, 2009
14 days to go and Day one of the LIQUID DIET
Jan 27, 2009
So I went to bed and I woke up full of anticipation of the days to come. I packed up my bottles of l SF instant breakfast, SF juice, and V8 and headed off to work. I left the left over tater tot casserole in the fridge and thought if Shane doesn't eat your today your headed for the garbage disposal.
My fears of waking up this morning and saying " I will just eat one more day then start my diet" are gone. My goal for the next couple of weeks is to wake up each morning I am on this liquid diet and be thankful that I don't have to let Mr. Tater-tot casserole control what goes into my body. I control that. I am ready to exert my control over food. I will take this one moment at a time because I deserve this life. I deserve the joy and happiness losing all this poundage will bring to me. I AM WORTH IT!.
Less than 3 weeks to go! My own personal pep talk.
Jan 20, 2009
I have changed so much in this process. I haven't drank soda for 8 months and I don't even miss it. I do miss potato chips but I am not wanting to go and buy them so I must be okay there. I am not binging and I am dealing with tons of stress right now. DID you hear that... I am dealing with stress without binging.
I now realize my life would not be over without this surgery. Something that would have devastated me in the beginning of this process. I have some great tools to keep me going. I have the support I need to take this weight off. I can now see how I can use this surgery as a tool to control my weight, (beat my genetics) something I couldn't see before. I am so much stronger inside than I have ever been before. I look forward to this surgery and a better life afterwards. I find it easier to believe I don't have to be a fat person any longer (YES I said the "f" word and said it aloud too!) I have learned my weight had nothing to do with food it was my shield, my impenetrable fortress it keep the world away from me. Or so I thought, truth is all it did was keep me from feeling anything. Now I let myself feel those emotions and I have to say what was the big deal. Why did I hide from my feelings? What have I missed and will now get to experience since I am coming out of hiding. I am no longer afraid of stepping out from beneath all these layers of what isn't even me.
I am afraid of how it will feel after the operation. Will I have pain, lotsa of nausea. I hope not, I plan to go into this wih a positive mind set. I felt okay after a c-section hysterectomy and was up walking by evening and out in 2 days taking care of a baby. I can handle the discomfort. Will I feel grief for the foods I will be giving up? If I do I will just have a good cry over it... better add kleenex to my list. I worry that I will be grossed out over my body but I will just remind myself that hey at 52 years of age things aren't going to look so great anyways. Well and there is always plastic surgery So why do I need this pep talk... because I want me to tell myself you are as strong as you think. I will be okay.
January 13, 2008
Jan 13, 2009
Less than a month away from my surgery. My sister, my support person for this surgery is now getting cold feet. She understands I could die from my obesity, she is really afraid I will die during the surgery. I keep trying to convince her that I am in pretty decent health. This is the best time for me to have surgery before my co-morbidities become a major health crisis.
I love ya sis, but this is something I am doing for me. I want off the merry go round that keeps adding more and more weight to my body each time I take it off. I am much stronger emotionally now and I don't need food to control my life any more. I now need a stomach that doesn't want me to fill it up so much.
27 days until I am re-born.
January 7th, 2009
Jan 07, 2009
I am thankful for this upcoming surgery and the life it will be giving me. I refuse to die during or after this surgery because I DESERVE TO HAVE THIS NEW LIFE AND ENJOY IT!
I plan on
1-Taking Oreo on long walks
2-Playing with my upcoming grandchild who should be here in April. I should be able to keep up with him/her when they are a toddler
3-Getting out of a closed cock pit Kayak without having to tip the boat over and fall out of the boat
4-Taking my kayak on moving water and not worry about having the boat capsize and me drowning as I swim to a shoreline
5- Sitting with my legs crossed, breathing at the same time and looking great while I do this.
6- Wearing underwear that doesn't have the waist elastic so tight that they roll down
7-Bending over to garden
8-Bragging to anyone and everyone who will listen how my feet feel great
9-Getting rid of my cpap or at least having one with lower pressure.
10-Dancing on a wet lawn without fear of falling.
January 2 and the reality of it all has hit home
Jan 02, 2009
I have tried to look at this from both sides the good and the bad. I appreciate hearing about the negative parts but it has increased my fear too! I believe my apprehension comes from knowing I need this surgery desperately and wishing that I had other options that I believed would help me take this weight off my body. At 52 years of age I haven't and hundreds of diets and gimmicks later nothing has worked.
I am an optimist at heart but I am also a realist. The nurse part of my brain tells me this is the best decision I can make for myself. I know I really don't have a choice. I have lost weight in the past but always regained it. I lack faith in myself and this is what prompts me towards this surgery. I know statistically the odds of keeping the weight off without surgery are very low 1-5% so that prompts me towards this surgery. I know I will feel so physically whole after the surgery and the weight comes off and that prompts me towards this surgery. But the non-nurse part of me says Help I am scared today.