Lunasweetz69
The mind game
Jul 01, 2011
So clearly I know I'm getting smaller, but the #s can play such a mind game with you. I'm down to 202.4lbs. Which is pretty incredible. The largest I have been was 270. So I'm down essentially 68lbs overall. I am still in the 200s, but a glorious moment happened yesterday! I bough size LARGE in Urbane scrubs. Not 3X, Not 2X, Not XL...but LARGE! I don't have that f'n X in my size. I was sooo excited! It was very form fitting, but I bought it and I felt that I looked good in it. I think I will wait until my cycle has come and gone before I display it for the world to see. But I am very proud. It was only a few wks ago where the size was TOO tight. I was excited just to get it over my @$$, but NOW it FITS!!!!!! What a feeling.
I suffer from dysmorphia. I still have the mentality of a fatty, but I'm becoming more confident and bolder. I no longer shudder at the thought of a full body shot. I actually embrace it! I guess Zumba has been working out for me haha.
I am working so much lately, that my energy levels are depleted, but I have to dig deep and find the courage and will to go on. I must put my daughter down and get my exercise done. Zumba is definitely fun. I really miss my trainer. I miss having the opportunity to take a class.
I want to do Body Pump again, but I'm horrified by the trauma it will do to my body. Will I fear sidewalks again?? I remember I felt every muscle in my body the 1st time I did it.
As soon as this work marathon is over. I am going back to the gym. I have a lil bit of time before October/November. Will I do the 5K?
