luvinmyfour
Well I have spent the last month on OH (so glad I found this site) !! :) reading everyones profiles and seeing for myself I am not the only one in the world that has had their feelings hurt for the same reasons I have. My name is Michelle, and I am from Massachusetts lived here in Haverhill for most of my life. I have 4 beautiful children in a wide range of ages...lol I have a 9 month old baby girl Emma, a 3 year old girl Madison, a 15 year old boy Christopher and a 18 year old girl named Alyssa. I have been fighting this fight with obesity for pretty much the last 15 years of my life. I am now 39 and feeling every year of it. I wasnt always big, or should I say I wasnt always skinny. I would say towards my senior year in high school is when I pretty much started I was still not huge at this point I would say probably 140 lbs at my senior prom I wore a size 8 dress so I wouldnt say I was that big then. I met a guy through some friends and we had what I thought was the best relationship anyone could have...lol boy was I wrong !! I went on and married him and had 2 wonderful kids. I never took the baby fat off...even though I only gained 22 pounds with my first and 20 with my 2nd I never lost it so my 140 turned into an easy 180. Well I went to weightwatchers in between the two kids and I did great, I lost 67 pounds and I thought I would never have any problem losing so I ate and I always seemed to eat at the wrong times like 9 at night then off to bed I would go and I let it creep right up on me...well this is when my marriage fell apart we fought all of the time he said some mean and hurtful things to me and it ended within 2 years after my son was born. I met a wonderful guy who took me and MY KIDS in and cared for ALL of us he knew I was overweight and he accepted me like that. I was comfortable with him and I was able to have a family, a family to sit down with and have dinner at a normal hour and we got married I was still overweight but not nearly as much as I am now I kept it at an easy 165-170 and I didnt care. I didnt care until he suddenly died of a massive heart attack and I went into a deep depression and didnt eat anything and I started to lose alot but it suddenly turned into a comfort thing for me to do and I found myself snacking morning noon and night !! I then turned to drinking and eating nothing but junk and turned a somewhat good eating habit into an order out all of the time and not bother with the healthy cooking any more. I creeped to 200+ pounds and got with a longtime friend of 16 years that I met from work and fell in love I actually knew him before my husband and he was there for me every time I needed someone. I needed him and he needed me and we were just right for each other. He didnt drink , he didnt do drugs, he held a job abd he adored my kids. What else could someone ask for ?? well he moved in with me and we got pregnant, it was like starting all over again, there was 12 years between my youngest at that time but it was good. I developed gestational diabetes with that pregnancy and lost weight when I was pregnant because I was put on a strict diet and I was put on insulin so it actually helped me lose weight I deliverd a healthy 7 lb 1 oz baby 3 weeks early and was told I would probably develope type 2 diabetes later in life. I had a hard time accepting that. Then comes baby 4 at the age of 38 there was alot more at risk, I was 4 weeks pregnat and my sugars were already high so my dr informed me I would be starting insulin immediately and so I did. I controlled my weight by diet but had a rough pregnancy they took her by c-section 5 weeks early due to complications of diabetes and low amnio fluid so here we go thank god she was healthy also !! yippee. I then had little to no exercise and watched myself gain 45 pounds after I delivered her in January and now in October I am a whopping 265 pounds and very unhealthy between high blood pressure High cholesterol and diabetes I am a walking time bomb !! I finally decided to have WLS I went back and forth from the band to the bypass because I was worried about my kids...I felt there was more at risk if I had the bypass, what if I dont survive it or I get a leak or what if I am in that percentage of people that just isnt gonna make it??? what if??? what if??? what if???? BUT if I dont do something for me once in my life am I actually gonna be here to see them graduate High School, get married, have babies of there own. So here I am having my surgery on December 2 and beginning to feel guilty that I actually am doing something for my self instead of my kids. am I wrong for feeling this way?? I dont think so
You know You've had Weight Loss Surgery When...
* I have a date" does not mean you're going out.
* You have baby food in the house and no baby.
* "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
* "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
* New clothes fall off in a week.
* You get excited about hand me downs.
* The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time please".
* Going bald and getting wrinkles is a good thing.
* "Just water for me please".
* When your rear end no longer looks like a mudslide.
* When you get excited that your incision was "only 4 inches".
* When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.
* Other women are calling you names behind your back.
* When you are glared at in the plus size department because you don't "belong there".
* When you really don't have a thing to wear.
* You have to prove you are the person on the driver's license.
* You start being in the pictures, not behind the camera.
* You want to hug everyone fat and hand them your surgeon's card.
* You are never parted from a bottle of water.
* When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
* Being too small for your britches.
* When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder.
* When you go to the mall and take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
* You truly are a "cheap date".
* When one drink makes you flipping floozy!
* When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound.
* You flip your shirt to show complete strangers your scar.
* Vitamins feel like a meal.
* You go from a 56DDDD to 32AAA in a year and didn't have a breast reduction.
* You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did you change your hair?"
* You can cross your legs... both of them!
* Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra.
* When your obsession from food turns to your scale.
* They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a turnstile.
* No more Velcro shoes.
* When your Stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables.
* your mother says "You don't eat enough."
* When your doctor looks you in the eye and says "I know you will have success with this."
* Having sex your husband complains that your hip bones are poking him.
* You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire.
* When you wave and your upper arms wave back.
* You safety pin your underwear.
* Someone phones and thinks your husband is sneaking around with some skinny mistress.
* Cannot blame the cat/dog for shedding.
* Cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card.
* 3 Lean Cuisines a week and that's your total grocery purchase.
* The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god...did he die???
* Having to constantly BLAME the dog for your gas!
