Lynn M.

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Hello my friends and fellow weight loss surgery conquerors!!!  I have been gone a long time and made some really great changes and had some rather not so great things occur in my life.  My weight loss is slow and barely budging but I am not giving up just changing my approach.  I am increasing my zumba classes each week,  I have finally found a way to take at least 3 classes a week so 3 hours of intense dance exercise is coming my way.

My weight is down to 246 not much since last time but I have made some major changes in my mental state and that to me is heading in the right direction.  I am a part of a emotional eating support group in addition to my individual therapy once a week.  I am understanding me better then I ever could have and it makes me smile to know who and why I am the way I am. 

I am heading to Miami again today for 5 days and I am excited because my jeans are one size smaller, my swim suits and tops are in the 0x -1x, 16-18 range and I have one pair of size 16 jeans and one size 16 skort whoo hoo.  I suprise myself when 1x dresses and tops fit me I am even trying on x-large in regular stores these days.  I am also wearing 8.5 to size 9 regular shoes down from the 9.5 W at the largest.  I am in some 38 and 40 dd bras again something that is great down from 44 ddd.  My knees are killing me this week, but between rain and 2 zumba classes I am dealing with it as best I can.

Finally I started seeing a man about a month ago who is a big handsome man, something I never would have thought I would have done, but I enjoy the man and his size is not something that even crosses my mind.  Amazing what my perspective and my changes have enabled  me to do.

Hope everyone is doing well and life is going good.  Please drop me a line and let me know how you all are doing, miss all of you terribly.


Lynn

Ok so the past two months have been rather crappy for me.  No loss, no real gain but no loss either.  Well this morning the scale read 248.4  Whoo-hoo that is fabulous and I think I was even a little dehydrated with that reading.  I am going to make sure I stick with my metabolism boosting eating today and hit my Zumba class in a few minutes.  I downloaded The South Beach Diet Supercharged and it is talking about jump starting the metabolism to increase loss.  It also stated that with a pear shape I have do to more work to get my loss to occur.  So I may be moving up to the Zumba 45 minute sessions on the Wii in addition ot my one night of class or maybe I should just aim for two nights of class and lots of protein and good veggie eating for another two weeks.  I really want to see 200 before my one year surgeriversary which is doable since that is still 6 months out however I wanted more of a loss than I have for the 6 months oh well.  I will get an official loss from the surgeon on Thursday when I go in for my appointment but I am feeling great today.

Too bad we don't weigh naked in the doctors office lol.  I do have to pick the lightest weigh clothing I have and hope we are still in the warmth of thaw mode like today was here in the northeast.  My laptop says that it is 55 degrees outside considering this time last week it was in the teens I am thrilled.  Also got a few new bras at Fashion Bug today.  They were only 19.99 along with the buy one get one half off sale so it was rather worth it. 

So now what is what I am talking about in my therapy sessions.  I am amazed at that question and wanting  to decide what goal to set for myself.   These are the things I somehow thought that I was immune to but I am seeing that now what applies to so much in our lives.   for me how do I allow myself to not allow my changing physical and mental state to push away too many friends.

I had a hard month of December because of being ill again and had a serious stall/6lb gain.  The scale  is moving again and I am exercising 3 times a week for at least an hour which is me regaining my momentum post being hurt and sick post Halloween.  I have also decided that I want to improve the positive relationships in my life and eliminate the negative ones, unfortunately that is eliminating some friends.  

What goals will I set for myself for 2011.  The first is to not get off track.  My problem over the holidays was not the really bad things I ate in regards to sweets and crap, like that but I found   fat free potatoe chips and dip which kept me regular  (so sad).  Why give that up, I will tell you why water weight retention ok !!!!  I hit my goal before Christmas only to slide backwards.  I am back on top of that and snacks are baked to the baked pita and hummus.  Greek yogurt and sugar free pudding are great, warm protein shakes and water are also making a comeback.  I have to admit I feel better.

I also got my vitamin intake increased to make sure I am doing much better for my body.  2 multivites, 2 calcium+D, 4  200IU D, 1 Nexium, 1 ursodiol, 1 5000 mg Biotin.  So my hair is growing everywhere lol.  I have not been very tired or very sick feeling over the last two weeks where I have been keeping these levels so very high.

I also am back up on my dissertation, I have set a goal to turn in the  next chapter by next week the first week of this 10 week session I will spend the following 9 weeks fighting to get it through the rigor of the university.  I am feeling more positive about my life and my goals.  I am keeping a journal as well as this blog.  I have also updated my teaching philosophy because restarting my career is my next objective.  I am also aiming to lose another 15-20 lbs before my 6 month visit  next month.  I am ordering Zumba for my Wii in addition to my class once a week and doing  videos on youtube .


I  am so psyched for me I am in a positive progressive space and I love it!!!!

Today I returned to exercising after about 5 weeks off, ok since I hurt my knees on Halloween.  I have not been to Zumba since June.  The instructor is fabulous she gives visual cues which I had learned back in June, so I was able to follow for the most part.  The class is an hour long, and I did feel a little light headed but that was the norm for me when I  was working out before.  I have to admit my fluid intake is back up again because I am working out.  I will make a point to do something on exercise tv tomorrow even if it is plus sized pilates or yoga maybe even both.  I have such a hectic schedule for this week, but I want to return to daily exercise.

I know that my weight loss will continue regardless of how intensely I exercise but I am looking to planning trip #2 to Miami for May so I want to feel sexier and look better.  So I will have to start toning soon to ensure that my arms look better.  Also have to find a bathing suit that works for semi-deflated boobies ughh!!!  I don't know why my goals are tied to me traveling but it is a motivating factor lol. 

I should have taken a hot epsom salt soak tonite to make sure I am not too sore and achy tomorrow.  I noticed a new set of stretch marks on my tummy today those where the skin in losing some of its puffiness and receeding back.

So today is 16 weeks since I had surgery.  My naked weight this morning was 250.6  I had a really interesting weekend where I did more salad eating to deal with my emotional eating pattern of being frustrated.  I am supposed to be keeping a journal, but I have not been ad emotional or compelled to eat for those reasons again. 

Lessons I am learning is that it hurts to eat and drink really hurts, thank God I remember not to do it too often.  I am getting to cold to eat salad but  I would rather emotionally chow down on a salad lol.  I bought a new outfit for my Christmas party and I tried on the 20s in Lane Bryant, but I decided I was going to get them in 18s.  Well the top came in and the bottom was picked up and it felt great.  I tried on a regular size 9 shoe at Macy's and it fit.  If I had seen the shoes I wanted at Torrid I might have tried on a 9 there too, but it seems that the shoes in the store are rather cheesy to me. 

I bought my daughter a size 16 grey satin dress in Torrid and am looking forward to possibly wearing it in February for my girl friend's birthday.  Of course this means I have to find some where for us to go so that I can wear it lol.  I love RNY and the changes in my body!!!!

I started the 5000 mcg biotin today almost gagged on that have to find a better way to get that down going forward.

I have had the most unpleasant period the last few days and I rarely weight myself during this period.  I got on this morning for kicks and giggles and my naked morning weight before I went to get my B-12 shot was 255 OMG!!!!!  Ok so fully dressed I weighed 258 but I am so psyched my goal is to be down to 250 for Christmas.  I may get there before Christmas.  I stated today off with protein shakes and v-8 and was not very hungry because it is that time of the month.  I did finally get some food down and I actually started feeling a little better.  I was adventurous and tried to eat a lean cuisine turkey, stuffing, and baked apples meal.  I could eat the turkey and the stuffing left half the apples not sur eif it was the sugar or what but I was feeling rather full so I just said no.

I have also bought decaf to make sure I don't have vaso vagal  problems when drinking coffee.  I bought dunking donuts Pumpkin spice and mocha peppermint and both killed me straight, but since I have mixed them with decaf I don't have the dry heaves and stomache cramping.  I am so lucky to be able to eat veggies and am watching my fiber intake daily to ensure I am daily regular lol. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my friends here on OH, may you maintain your weight through the holidays and may you be blessed enough to possibly lose some too!!!!

I toast each of you with my Ariel alcohol free chardonnay !!!!

I was so excited today about my 3 month visit.  The only downside to this visit is that I returned from South Beach with a sore throat swollen glands and some form of infection.  I am down about 60 lbs per my aprn.  I think her estimate is from my highest weight even before lap band.  In reality I use 319 as my high after surgery and 266 is what I weighed in the office with my sneakers on and some rather heavy jewelry lol.  I will reclaim a couple of pounds lol so 264 is more realistic.  My home scale with some clothing on had my weight at 260.8.  I know my period is coming and I will probably be in the 250's by the end of the month.  I know that I have not been that size consistently as an adult since I was 21 pre-pregnancy. 

So officially I am down 55-59 lbs for three months not a bad deal.  If the next 3 months even come close to replicating the first three I am ecstatic.  Realistically I anticipate losing 30-40 lbs additionally in the next  3 months, which will allow me to be 85-99 lbs smaller yahoo.  This goal is attainable I will return to my Zumba class on Monday and to the gym shortly thereafter. 

I had a great time in Miami, I wore size 20's that fit me snug but great.  I wore a dress that used to be a shirt that fit me just fine 50 lbs ago.  I walked all night in my 3 inch heels and stood tall and proud and confident.  I love the new me that this RNY has created.  Oh I also did not need a seat belt extender and did not spill over into my neighbor's seat on the airplane.  The little things about this trip were wonderful. 

I believe I need to move to a warmer climate, the layer of subcutaneous fat that I have lost is truly missed for it's warming properties only!!!!

My dating life is still more active then it should be and I don't want to stop dating but it is so cumbersome to worry about all this on top of working out my own issues.  I did meet a great guy but I am so not ready for such a thing that I have to pull away and just make sure I remain cool friends with him.  I know I need to be ready in the future but today I can honestly say my new me is selfish and wants to be all about me and only me lol.

I am so psyched.  I have had about 3 NSV moments recently and they mean more to me than anything I can experience.  I went to happy hour with my girlfriends on Saturday and I was at Fleming's Steak house and my favorite waiter came over and noticed my weight loss and said I look like half of myself.  I am so easy so when it comes to compliments. 

Then my hair stylist also complimented me on how great I was looking and I had just seen her about 3 weeks ago.  So I posted new pics on facebook where several of my friends have ooohed and ahhhed my losses. 

The absolute best one was the doctor coming back into the room after I got dressed and telling me I was looking good.  All of this a week after I was off my exercise game because of hurting myself.  Tomorrow I get on a plane and head to Miami.

I have never feared this city because I have never doubter my own beauty even as a much larger me lol.  So how am I going to handle it almost 60 lbs smaller then I was the last time I was there.  I am also psyched to get on the place and see if I need a seat belt extender something I have been needing for the longest time.  My hips are still wide but they are smaller than they have been in years.  Don't think I needed them back when I was going to college and was this size, yahoo.

I started therapy last week and my therapist is a true God-send we are working on my issues holistically.  My mind, my emotions, my body, my life, my love and myself. I am learning to have a relationship with Lynn and to meet her needs, to address what she wants so that food is not the solution but just sustenance. 

I am looking forward to a few days away, sunshine, renewal, and the beginning of this phase of my life as a smaller more independent me.  Does anyone else feel that journaling whether on a blog or in a diary is a great way to release much of what we are going through.  Something as simple as seeing it written is therapeutic.

Next week I go to see the doctor for the official 3 month visit hoping the scales say something I want to see.  Doctors scales are always different from the home scales.  My next goal is to be 250 for Christmas this year, that might be a stretch but it would be a great thing to achieve!!!!!

Ok so where do I begin.  I am still in awe at the new me, my new smaller body, dating prospects, and life in general.  So I decided to stop drinking prior to surgery and have taken off from that for an entire year.  Of course my friends don't get it, but I love being sober when other are drinking my perspective is so very different.  I have attended a couple of parties where my friends were drinking and I had dealcoholized wine to ensure that I was not tempted to sip.

I also went out for Halloween and I have to be honest I am trying to keep a positive mind about certain things but I am seeing.  As a plus sized woman I supported that decision but I also believed in keeping healthy and exercising.  This past weekend I went to a party where I saw the shift in our society where more and more people are top and middle of the body heavy whichis also linked to heart disease and problematic obesity.  I spent most of the evening from about 10:30 on standing, walking and dancing until about 2:50 a.m.  Ok so of course today my knee has kept me bedridden because of all the twisting and dancing I did from Latin bachata to hip hop dancing, to reggae music danding, even some white snake rock.  What can I say a girl of versatile tastes here, but I have paid the last two days wow my knee is so sore seeing the doc in the morning. 

Things that I found interesting this weekend, I have achieved a level of sophisticated appeal and don't aspire to be flashy and scandalously scantily clad. Maturity is funny to me, even my daughter said mom this is the least trashy halloween costume you have done in a while.  Sometime a few years ago I decided flesh peddling when it got cold was a ridiculous notion lol.  So I was GI Lynn for Halloween, camo pants, my bullet belt became a gun bracelet (bullets kept popping off), 4 inch tan suede mule/clog type shoes, and a tan tank top, oh and my camo hand gun.  I am still a big girl but my hips and waist allow me to wear size 20 jeans lately.  Also the scale said 264 one evening recently.  I am feeling great overall.

I met a few gentlemen who asked for my number and asked to take me out and wanted to show me a nice time.  I was not seen as a piece of meat but as a beautiful woman and I am enjoying that level of attention.  They are also amazed that I am serious and intelligent, yet have a sense of humor.  While this attention is a lovely concept I am more inclined to decline long term offers of being in a relationship because I need to focus on my relationship with food. 

I got a call from a therapist today about my food issues and I am going to set up an appt to met with someone to discuss what are my triggers for indulging.  Yippee my stomache is smaller and indulgences are limited also my fear of dumping keeps me at a place where I refuse to indulge in actual sugar, but I have no problem with agave syrup.  I have been able to add that to greek yogurt and have loved it there.  Also so much better than artificial sweetners, I keep it to 1 tbs max but try not to use that much all the time. 

Thank you Dr. Choi and OH for a new lease on life.  Thank you family and friends for support and thank you GOD for life overall.  Smiling from ear to ear almost daily with the changes as progress I have made.

Hmm what will I rant about today.  Well I missed today's workout because I felt really crappy.  I finally saw the scale move once again.  My morning naked weight on my lower scale said I was at 267 which I am not taking to the bank just yet.  I will be weighed at the doctor's office on Friday morning when I get my B-12 shot. 

I started the C25K and incorporating that into both my race training and my exercise program.  I am feeling good overall but my exercise routines make me tired.  I sweat and work out great.  My body is changing and my clothing is fitting nice I am excited.  I had a party on Friday and took a bottle of dealcoholized wine for me to drink so that I did not feel left out of the loop when it came to drinking.  I am comfortable with the small amounts of food I can eat and still taking it nice and slow.

I ate half a packet of weight management oatmeal and have had half a serving of baked whole wheat pita chips.  These are all trigger foods for me generally speaking but also comforting.  I have not eaten too much or pushed myself, but I measure out a reasonable amount and then dig in.  I unlike others have to be distracted by tv or my computer.  If left to eat with no distractions I would eat twice as fast. 

I have no problems with some agave syrup I don't overdo it but I can use it in place of certain sweetners, for example I add it to my greek yogurt and I am pleased.  I also had a couple of tbs of granola today it made the yogurt take forever but it was not high in fat, sugar, or carbs so it was an ok thing.  I don't think I will do that again it took forever to eat the 6 oz of yogurt.

I have a friends party to go to on Saturday.  She is making healthier versions of many of the things we love.  I am making the brownies from Rocco Dispirito's cookbook with the base ingredient of black beans.  I am also picking up more dealcoholized wine it really did not taste like glorified grape juice.  It was somewhat dry so I am happy to find a happy medium that distracts me from my choice of abstaining.