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Well, its been 5 months already!  I can't believe how fast it went by.  I have not been very good about choices since I hit 4 months.  As a result I have not lost any weight in a month.  I think the fact that I finally had choices made it difficult for me.  I am getting back on track though!  I am down almost 100 pounds now.  I am 169 today and hope to be 145 at goal. 

I am calling the 4th month a total disaster ha ha.  I was terrible about working out, choices and everything.  Luckily I did not gain any weight.  Now, I just need to get back on track.  I think I can do it!

I leave for jamaica for my 4 year anniversary over thanksgiving.  Shopping for cute sundresses has been so fun even though I have not yet bought one.  I am going to wear a strapless sundress if it kills me.  AND AND AND I get to fly and fit!  I am so jazzed.

I love my surgery...I am just scared I am going to screw up and stretch my pouch and be fat again in 5 years.  Lots of anxiety around that. 

My hair is falling out like no ones busness.  I have lost probably 79% of my hair.  Apparently this can go for another 2 months.  If it does, I literally wont have any hair left.  I went to my hair stylist that I have always loved and have been going to for 5 years.  She has been very sensative about my hair issues.  However, her assistant started making fun of me and showing everyone in the salon my clumps of hair and saying all sorts of horrible things about it.  Even though it was not my stylist, my stylist did nothing and said nothing. So, I have decided not to return but now I have to find someone else and in the midst of this hair trama. 

Well other than that, I can't complain. Some anxieties over failure and stretching the ole pouch out and my hair but I have no regrets.

I have hit my two months!  My two month dr appointment is not until Tuesday and then I am sure I will find out more.  I have hit a major stall of nearly 4 weeks long.  In the last 2 or so days I have dropped a half of pound each day so I think the stall is going into remission (lets hope).   I am now at 202 pounds.  This is 59 pounds in 2 months.  Even with a stall, I can't complain.  People are just starting to notice.  I have gone from a size 24 to a size 18.  I have also lost a half of a shoe size! 
Protein is a struggle.  I do great then I don't and I go back and forth.  I get very good excersize and eat very well.  I cannot tolerate meat which makes me so sad.  I crave all sorts of yummy chicken dishes and no matter what I can't do any meat. In despiration I have tried them all in countless circumstances and preparations.  I dump everytime. 
So, I will go in tomorrow to do my blood tests and find out more on Tuesday.  I hope to be at 185 by the end of August but that is pretty ambitious.

Well it’s been one hell of a month, both good and bad.  I can't believe it’s already been a month.  I am not up to par on vitamins, protein, food intake or water but I am pretty close.  I was walking 2 miles everyday but my husband brought home bronchitis from work and I have been very sick for almost 2 weeks.  I have also platued.  I think this is because I have not been able to get my protein in and exercise while sick. 

Water is going down great now. I am so relieved about that.  I have thrown up everyday.  I can't do chicken or turkey unless it’s a deli sliced.  Anything other than that, no matter how moist or saucy, I will throw it up.  I have taken two bits of ground beef and had absolutely no problem.  I am still struggling with eating to fast or too much.  I pay the price, let me tell you.

Overall, if it were not for the bronchitis I think I would feel great.  I am down exactly 40 pounds, even with a stall.  I can't complain.  I think weight loss will slow way down in the upcoming months but that’s okay too. 

Three weeks out in 2 days.

So I went and had my second live xray done...you know the one you have to drink the horrible barium!?  This last time I kept gaging so bad it brought me to tears in the xray room.  He said I have slight narrowing but its likely swelling.  I have yet to hear anything from my doctors office however.

I am really struggling with eating any meat whatsoever.  I throw up every time.  Its awful.  They say that means I am either eating to big of pieces or to fast.  At this point, I have tried so damn hard on both  I can honestly say...no matter what anyone tells me..I disagree.  Having no meat at this point has made it next to impossible to get even 20 grams of protein in.  Overall, I am having a very hard time emotionally with this.  Its making me not want to have food at all, which is also scary.  I barely even have a 1/4 cup of food a day!  The reprecusions of eating more simply is not worth it.  Telling my doctors office isn't helpful either.  They lecture me, make me feel very defensive and tell me everything is my fault.  I am wondering if this will ever get better.  I guess they call this..."the buyers remorse" stage. 

Its exactly one week post op.  My surgery day and few days there after were honestly hell on earth.  I definitely under estimated that LOL!  I large part of my problem was some major breathing complications which resulted in me staying in the hospital a total of 5 days.  I didn't mind at all though, infact I am very greatful to have stayed longer and be able to get everything under control before coming home. 

I am having a very hard time drinking water.  I love water, but now it hurts my belly to drink it. I have tried all sorts of temperatures but still, no luck.  Food, well thats another story.  I see the pizza commercials and think how I would love to have that but when I go down to eat anything I have no desire to eat anything.  Not one thing.  Even if that pizza was in front of me, I really think I would not want to really eat that either.    I think it will pass though. 

The Weight Breakdown:

261 the week of surgery
253 the day of surgery
239 one week post op!  OMG, is right!

Feeling better each day and may even try to do a movie tonight!

Well the time is here.  I can't believe its happening. For the longest time, even a few days ago I was sure that something would prevent me from having it.    As many times as I read the material, connect with this board etc., I still feel like I am not prepared.  Not emotionally, just with things I have packed, things I have purchased for post op and perhaps I feel like there is still I need to know for post op but don't.  Its just anxiety but its lingering uninvited nonetheless.

I took the magnesium citrate at 1pm.  It nearly made me gag.  It surprisingly was better than I anticipated though.  Its now 5:30 and I have only had 1 bowel movement which is probably to much information ha ha.  I am a bit concerned though.  I have a 90 minutes massage tonight at 8:30...lets cross our fingers that I have everything out before then ha ha. 

Am I nervous...a bit.  More nervous about post op than the surgery itself.  I think I will sleep just fine tonight.  It still doesn't feel real...

I feel very blessed to have this chance.  I will see you all on the flip side~!

One month from today!  Well, this year is surely the year of change.  I turn the big 30 on wednesday and exactly one month from today I start my journey.  It all seems like perfect timing.  I would not say I am excited though, I would call it more of a feeling of just being "ready."  The first time around of trying to get approved I was so excited I could hardly contain myself.  Now having been denied and appealed with surprising victory, I am more realistic about it and just "ready" more than anything. 

My fears are not the surgery, which it always has been.  Now I find my fears mostly being the first 3 months post op.  I am also very uncomfortable with this whole catheter issue I have been told I must have ha ha.  I wonder if the doctor takes bribes...

Well its two months from today, WOW.   So many of my amazing OH friends have had their surgeries just these last few days, Gena today and Reg tomorrow even.    I am getting excited.  I am also nervous just like everyone gets.  Nervous about failing and also wondering why I can't just try to loose this all on my own for the millionth time.    Its taken SO long to get here it seems.   I kinda want to scream in a good way ha ha.

Does the last two months go fast?  Does Post Op go fast or does everyday feel like an eternity because you don't feel so great???

 This story started back in 2007.  My insurance said they covered the insurance so I started my 6 months and jumped through all their hoops and dotted all my I's.  I was then given a surgery date of October 3rd.   Just days before my surgery and all that mental preparing, I got the word.  DENIED.  Denied after doing all the pre op classes, tests and everything else in between.  It was heartbreaking.  I probably could have handled being denied if it were not for all the surgery preparation.  I was so close.  Not only denied but the hospital made some HUGE errors and I was never even approved.  There were so many mistakes made.  They were undergoing lots of changes and somehow I fell through the cracks.  I blame myself.  Had I known then what I know now, that would have never happened. 

The doctor called the insurance on my behalf and the hospital made every attempt to correct the situation and fight on my behalf.  When all efforts were exhausted they said I stood absolutely no chance.  I contacted two attorneys.  They said my initial request letter and paperwork was literally so good, they do not know how they or anyone they know could top it.  These were 2 of the toughest insurance lawyers in the state. 

I gave up.  I got very depressed and just gave up.  I could not emotionally handle another blow like the first so I felt not trying again was the more healthy thing to do.  It would have been one thing If I had  not had a surgery and done all my pre op testing, pre op classes and everything but unfortunately, I had!

Something hit me 24 hours before my appeal cut off date.  I remember it being very late, probably close to 3am.  I had been thinking about it for hours.  I had to appeal.  I had literally nothing to add but I had to appeal.  I had no additional testing, no additional doctor letters, nothing compelling whatsoever.  So, I decided I would put no effort into it and just write a letter.  Again, the more effort the more let down I felt I would endour.   So, I wrote a letter. Thats it.   I have a very tough insurance, the hospital and even doctor spoke to the TOP person at my insurance, which by the way, she knew so whats left?  Well, three days later I got the call, approved!  I didn't believe it. I made the hospital call and double check.  Literally.  I even triple checked.  Needless to say, buckets of tears came flowing.

So, thats my crazy story.  The miracle surgery.  It can happen.  I can't even tell you how many people I talked to sicker and heavier than me who have my insurance (exact) and got denied multiple times, even taking them to court and loosing.  I don't know why they approved me but I will NEVER complain about the process.  I remember sitting in support group the day I found out I got denied and hearing everyone complain about how they hate drinking broth.  I stood up and said, be thankful because there are so many people like me who can't get the surgery and would LOVE to be in their position. 

So, I am very glad I went through all I went through.  I think it happened for a reason, many.  Here is where it will all really begin...


P.S.  I had to call my insurance FOUR times before they would finally say they covered the insurance!  If you call and they say they don't, keep calling!