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 139 and holding steady. QUite proud of all I've accomplished. 

Update: weight is 138-142. Doing really well, really super happy. No issues. I'm so happy!!

 Nothing has changed, everything has changed. My weight is slowly settling into the area I want it. It's like I'm a normal person. Except thanks to my new pouch I'll never be quite normal. Eating out, even this far away from my surgery is still a challenge. I never know what to order. It's not like most places serve tuna salad w/o the bread in a half a sandwich size. Or 1 handful of protein crisps three pieces of extra sharp cheddar and half a bowl of bean with bacon soup. I manage. I've resigned myself to either taking home doggy bags or paying for a meal that will only get 20% eaten then abandoned. It's still nice going out on occasion.  

I'm comfortable with how I look now. The skin still hangs off my body in unappealing ways, but I know how to dress to disguise it. I wish we were covered for P.S. but we're not. And there's not much of a chance the hubs will fund something he sees as unnecessary since "I look great" to him. And really I'm very glad he thinks I'm sexy. But I sort of wish I thought I looked good naked. 

Regardless I'm as comfortable as I can get in my skin. Loose though it may be. I'm healthy, I'm pretty (Iknowright?!?!) and I'm alive. These are important things. 

I've gone up a bit weight wise. Not a LOT, just a few tiny winter pounds. I'm not used to serious REAL cold and I think my body is having trouble with the cold! I know I am! I'm going to keep a close eye on it so I don't get above 150.  Also under a lot of stress due to 1: my hubs being in Korea and me alone in Kentucky. 2: the stress of my grandmothers passing right after Thanksgiving,  Wish me luck in keeping the weigt where it should be!

Noticed I havn't updated this in a while! Since I got to Kentucky I've been super busy with the girls and such. Having Ian gone to Korea has been a challenge, I miss him but we're still crazy in love so no problems other then lonliness.  My weight has been yoyoing a lot lately. Been everywhere between 140 and 150. Today I weighed in at 145- but I think I did myself in a little with halloween candy. I'm back to keeping sugar at bay and those sugar pounds are coming slowly off. I'm wondering if my metabolisum is slowing down in reaction to the colder weather.  I never had to deal with weather related weight in Arizona. I'll have to keep a close eye on the scale and maybe exercise a little more. 

Still feeling pretty healthy. My lower/middle back has been bothering me, but It's nothing truly horrendous. Think I'd like to consult a chiropracter as soon as we have the funds for it.

So, the insomnia continues. It's not as bad as it's been. I'm getting a fairly good 6 a night. I have to get up at 5:45 to get the younger daughter ready for school, and most nights I'm at least IN bed by 10. It takes me forever once I'm there, but I'm at least going up there and not sitting downstairs, reading a book or surfing the net (like I'm doing now, BAD Amber) My excuse is that I'm missing the hubs, but really it's SSDD (same sh** diffrent day).
No Depression beyond the general anxiety over my man being in Korea while I'm here. Some pangs of lonliness, but I''ve already managed to make an aquaitence- who has the potential of being a decent short term friend.  My weight has been on the high side of low- hovering around 145. I won't let it get above that, but I sort of miss it getting below without so much trouble on my part.  My hair is thinning again, but I think this is due to the stress from the move. I was awful about getting in my protien and vits when we were moving and I got down to my lowest (136) from 147 in about a week. That can't have been good for my body.  So I'm being religious about the vits and fitting in more protien. Even trying to eat (gag) breakfast on occasion.

I'm fairly content here in Kentucky, it's gorgous and people are decent. I'm a bid gloomy today, but I'm sure that'll pick up soon. :)

Whoohoo! All moved in and settled. Nothing like the moving diet to do a body good. I was down to 136 for a few days there- back up to 138-140 range. Feeling a little "skin and bones" with an emphasis on skin, but my face still looks healthy- and my body dosn't look malnourished, so I'm not gonna worry overmuch. Need to find a local doc so I can make sure everything's okay. Keeping up with my vitamins during the move was tricky- got a little anemic because I forgot to put my iron pills in my vit. box with my multi's and Bs. rebalencing. The plethura of fresh veggies around here has me heartned. Already eating more veggies then I usually do and tha makes me superhappy. Going to go to the farmers market again this weekend to stock up on corn (thought I'd gotten enough last week, but I can already see the stock diminishing. Gonna also try some of the gorous tomatoes etc- maybe a homemade tomato sauce or something. Very happy here- the weather is glorious, the fireflys are fantastic, and the people (well the one's I've met so far) are pretty friendly. I love little downtown Georgetown, especially the antiques etc. I'm thinking this year, even without Ian won't be too terribly hard- but get back to me in.. say WINTER when I'm freezing and wishing for Tucsons nice warm winters.

I havn't been sleeping well. I tried upping my iron (I'm always a little low on iron and am still playing with my levels to see if I can even it out without going over) and other meds and that helped- a little. But still- for no reason I can think of I have nights where I'll wake up from a sound sleep at 2-3 am and not be able to go back to sleep w/o self medicating with Nyquil.

as to self medicating- I think I'm starting to gain a new problem. I had quite a bit of vicodin and perkaset left over from tooth removal. The teeth didn't hurt that much so I hoarded those precious littl babies "just in case" (in other words 'cause I knew they'd help me feel niiiice).  I'm almost out now.   Been having Back pain a LOT. The docs can't find anything wrong- I really want to go to a chiropractor to get an adjustment- but wer're not covered for that. Might anyway, after the move. But until then! I'm almost out of "Special" meds.

Tylenol dosn't touch my pains- I don't hurt very ofteh, and most stuff I can handle- but when I really hurt I become a whiny little bitch and need something so I don't drive my family nuts. half tempted to find a doctor that'll happily give me scripts without asking questions- but those are just so hard to find these days. Lol

meh-  I'm gonna be good today. Taking All my vitamins, eating my protien. Gonna have to drink nearly a gallon of coffee to wake up.

Well- we're not going to Korea with the hubs. Instead, I've decided that the girls and I are going to spend the year my husband is deployed over in Kentucky so his mother can spend some time with the girls.

HOWEVER! After that year we're going overseas! Our follow on is in England! Whoohoo! This means I don't have to learn a new language. I'm still studying a few snippits of french and italian since we'll be in Europe for three years and we plan on using our free time to TRAVEL/sight see.


Finally getting overseas is a really big deal for me! 

I'm happy with my weight it's nice and steady, and I'm happy enough with my body now that I've accepted the extra skin. I'm still wishing we'd fall into some extra cash or that Tri-care would loosen up a bit so I could get some of this removed- but I'm still healthy and happy. My husband thinks I'm sexy, and MAN am I ever lucky to have that man! He's been through hell and back with me and loved me every step of the way!

This upcoming year is going to be hard. It's been awile since we've been apart, and I know our marrage will be fine- We're strong. But I'll miss him so much. And dealing with the girls alone is going to be harder this go-'round.

I'm hovering between 142-145- usually 144.  I've been great about the vitamins, and am working harder on getting the protien back up.  My hair is thinning a little- though my labs still look good. But to ensure everything is going well I'm upping my protien back to the levels it's supposed to be at. I forget sometimes and slack off a little- it's hard getting it all in. And I'm going to continually have to moniter my intake.
Over all I'm happy about my body. I'm still saggy baggy just about everywhere- but the skin is tightening a little- and I can feel real definition under the skin.  I still look awesome in clothes, and have been getting the head to toe look from people around me. Some people have a hard time believing I was EVER fat.  Not me, I refuse to fall into denial. That body may well rest in my past- but It'll serve as a reminder. That miserable, ugly feeling, unhappy woman still wants to eat ice cream, watch just one more episode of T.v. and fly a middle finger in the face of walking. She reminds me that standing makes my back hurt- so why bother?
Well- I've gotta fight her, because that's the way it has to be, I know the fight is best for me, the struggle to do something productive every day, even though I'm "where I should be" weight wise. After all, reaching and finding my happy place is no excuse for falling to the wayside now is it?