battle!

May 08, 2008

I am set to beat my scale with a stick. One morning I'm goal weight! YAY! One morning I'm a pound and a half heaver. Heck, yester day I weighed: 150.6, 153.7, 151.8 in sucession. I never changed my clothing or anything. Either this scale is reallly wack-o OR my body is magic and can add and subtract pounds within moments.

Yaaaaaa!

Apr 20, 2008

OMG on my b-day I weighed myself.. it read 150.6.  I freaked out, spent the day dancing about in excitement.  Next day.. it read 152. Bad scale!  I swear.. damn thing lied to me just to tease me.  

But today I'm sitting at 151.  That's darn close!  OMG. I may actually meet my goal weight.  I'm freaking shocked! Especially since this week I havn't been especially good.  I had cheesecake.. three times! Bad Amber!!  BUT it was for my birthday (Then there was some still there..)

I'm getting back on track this week, if I'm going to get to goal. I'm still losing so, that's good. I always seem to gain a little right befpre I start losing again for some reason. I also seem to struggle through about a week of "picky pouch" before I start slowly cycling down too. It hasn't been as often lately (And I'm glad for it),  I'm really quite happy right here, I could totally stay this way, but I'd be even happier to meet my goal and for the first time since I was, like, 15, have a "normal" BMI.  I look awesome, I feel awesome.. and I know that's what's important (the feeling awesome that is). 

WELP..
I go now. I had an awesome Birthday, my huby dressed up to compliment me. And I got a new titanium ring that actually fits! And.. WEll It was just awesome!  TA now! :)

I'm getting old :P

Apr 15, 2008

My 32nd Birthday is nearly upon me. I've already recieved some of my presents early. I treated myself to the adorable black with cherry print dress, matching candy apple red heels and some jewlery. Wearing it all makes me feel HOT. 

My mom forgot how old I was turning. I'm starting to wonder if she's got pre-alstimers. That'd suck.  My weight has been a little fluctuating. Most times I'm 153ish but I'ts gone up (never down below) one or two pounds only to go back. 

I'm pretty content here. I feel like even if I don't ever get "below goal" I'm doing great. My body feels healthy. I'm trying new ways to snack smart, and not succeding terribly well. I'm gonna try protien pretzals, since pretzals and popcorn are my indulgences right now. 

TA!

So close I can taste it.

Mar 24, 2008

Okay!!  I've maintained 153 (ish) depending on time of month etc. I was sure it was a fluke, and I DID regain a pound or two, but managed to re-shed them pretty quickly.  I'm feeling really proud of myself right now! This year for the first time EVER I wore a costume to the rennisaunce festival. My husband and I have been going (with or without my girls) to this thing since before we were married. Every year I've been TEMPTED to go in costume, but was just too body shy to draw that much attention to myself. This year I finally felt like I was woth it. 

This surgery has absolutly changed my life.  I know I'm still dealing with a lot of left over emotional luggage, the kind of crap that confined me to the heavy layered shell I wrapped myself in to be ignored. I'm still a little ashamed of how I look with my clothing off (Like a sharpei.. eew) but- I'm getting there. I'm working on acceptance at a level I've never looked at before. Not just of myself either, but of EVERYTHING.   I may not agree with everything going on in the world. I may not agree with everyone.  However, I no longer need to hide from it all. It's time to get out there and live my life. :)

The FLU diet

Mar 11, 2008

I got that dreaded flu bug. First, my hubby, a day of vomiting followed by a day of lethargy, followed by a few days of not quite feeling right.  Then my Younger daughter. TWO nights of resltess sleep, lots of crying. Two days of cranky unhappy pre-schooler followed by one day where vomit made a showing. Then all better. My oldest daughter and I seemed to have survived unschathed (except for me being sleep deprived and she remaining an insolent Pre teen). 

Then the accursed thing hit me.  Three freaking days of not being hungry, of severe diareah, no vomiting but I could barely bring myself to get down a protien shake or one protien bar . I managed hydration JUST fine. I was so thirsty.  Now it's finally worn off, I can eat "normal" since Sunday. And I'm glad to be back on my feet.  

Well I checked the scale this morning and 153.  153!! Dude.  Ok, I know I'm going to re-gain some weight, especially since I'm betting my poor body is in starvation mode and is going to grab onto calories. But! If I can manage only to re-gain 2-3 pounds I'm THISMUCH closer to my goal.

I wouldn't do it again for the world.  BUT I'm considering doing that silly 5 day pouch test in a few weeks just to see if I can make my body accept THIS weight as it's new norm.

begin: Rant.

Feb 05, 2008

Yum (NOT) protien.  I drink all my icky nasty isopure protien.  Two water bottles shaken with the goo, a total of 60g of protien goodness.  I aspire to find a protien powder tat mixes well wit water, and actually tastes GOOD. Not just okay, or mildly palatable, but FREAKING good. :P I'm gonna gut up, do my resurc and find a protien I like, if it kills me. :P It proibably will.

Another flat plateu

Jan 26, 2008

Weigt: Steady at 1-5 pounds near 158 with that being the norm.

Yup. This is it, unless I shove myself, push myself make myself cry, this feels like it.  I am currently sitting very near my consistant healthy weight of my teenage years. I look and feel pretty great.  I'm consulting doctors (trough tri-care) to see if I qualify for any covered plastics.  I'm also consulting a plastic surgen in my area (Taki) to see what it'd cost to do out of pocket.  There's so much I'd like done.  Compared to what I could afford to have done.  I'd love a circumfrontial (sp?) lower body lift, thigh lift, upper body lift, arm skin removal thing, and breast lift/reconstruction. I'd prefer to leave out any imlants, I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of them unless they're REALLY nessesary. 
From the resurch I've done there's a small thin chance tri-care will cover the pannectomy (tummy tuck type) surgery and VERY very possibly the breast lift if I prove these things are giving me back pain. 
I almost wish extreme makeover were accepting applications.  Of course I doubt they'd even take me.. after all I'm nothing "spectacular" like their last few freak show type cases. 

I guess... wish me luck. I'll post more pictures soon.

163

Nov 19, 2007

2 pounds.  Who'd have thought I'd be giddy over 2 pounds.  But it's moving.  Via my husbands advice I've also decided to start (gulp) jogging.  I'm gonna start easy wit walking fast and work UP to jogging, but it's probably the only way I'm going to really get this weight off.  My dizzys have been happening less.  I'm drinking propel water every day, taking my vitamins and eating fish protein.  I don't like fish!!!  But, anything to get healthier.

I'm finally really starting to HEAR, not just be told and ignore but HEAR the comments on how much better I look.  Apparently one of my husbands co-workers thought he'd gotten a "new girl" because I looked so different.  When he found out it was the same, but skinnier lady he was flummoxed and told my hubby to tell me I looked quote "a-freaking-mazing".

I REALLY want to get a panniectomy.  I think getting the excess skin trimmed off my tummy will allow me to see myself better. I still look in the mirror and see that huge flap of ugliness hanging around my waist. It's nasty and it makes getting dressed annoying.

I don't know.  I know I look sooo much better.  I also FEEL so much better.  But - I'm still the same me inside.  The inner me hasn't changed and there are times I wonder what all the hoopla is about.  I was ALWAYS this amazing.  It takes getting skinny for people to notice?


The plan

Nov 09, 2007

My goal is close.  I think I might do a mad dash for the finish.  It's time to kick things up a notch.

In quite a bit of honesty here: things have been pretty easy for me up to now. a little diet adjustment here.  A little added in exercise there. Some very uncomfortable experiments being the only real problems.  But it's time to buckle up and get on board 'cause I'm going whole hog.

My weight goal is right around the corner. a tantalizing 15 pounds away.  I REALLY want to be there.  I haven't weighed 150 pounds since I was 16.  Which is like a million years in me time.  Heck the last time I weighed 165 (my current weight) was when I was 17, so yea.

I'm going to actually make a plan.  Instead of my usual "roll with it" attitude I'm going to actually make a few more dietary adjustments.  These are generally the easiest, since food and I are at an agreement. The hard part is upping the exercise. I KNOW if I want to shed more poundage and get into a better state of health I'll have to kick up my exercise. 

I'm an exercise disgrace.  Sure, I walk.  I work off the majority of my calories cleaning house.  Occasionally I get crazy and play with my exercise ball.  But, not enough.

so the plan!

I've been making lists a lot.  TO keep me up with my housework.  To keep me in line. so!  I'm adding mandatory exercise time into my to-do lists.  I'll have to set myself a reward (like clothing shopping, wic I've been avoiding) for finishing a months worth of finished list. EVEN if I don't loose. I know, even if te weight refuses to move that I NEED to be exercising more.  I also think that if I do I'll shed these last few pounds.  Wish me luck.


Not the heart

Nov 09, 2007

Yup, It's not my heart.  OR at least nothing bad.  I've got low blood pressure.  A cardiologist suggested I up my salt intake.  Ick.  So, next step is the follow up with my doc and see if I'm in for more tests or if she'll perscribe something to stop the spinning.  Wish me luck.

About Me
KY
Location
23.8
BMI
RNY
Surgery
07/24/2006
Surgery Date
Jan 18, 2006
Member Since

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