yikes, that was a little harsh....

Jan 20, 2009

So, I've reread my last post and...well...I think I was a little overwhelmed.  I still feel stressed about this whole moving thing, but maybe with a little less anger.  My husband still talks about it everyday.  He asks everyday why I haven't heard from any of the places I applied at.  How should I know?!!!  I feel at this point, if I hear from something it's meant to be.  If not , it's not the right time.  Either way, I don't feel like we should be pushing it.  The biggest stresser in all this is having to find a daycare for my daughter.  She LOVES the place (daycare/preschool) she goes to here.  She goes a couple days a week to get her familiar to other kids and I love the teacher.  I'm trying to go to days, so she then would go full time.  I'm just nervous.  Bangor feels like a whole other world.  I don't trust ANYBODY, so much less trust a stranger to watch my daughter.  I know lots of people do it, but I am super protective.  I don't feel like I need to do any of this, except to alleviate my husbands stress from his job.
Anyway, about my weight.  I've stopped losing and seem to be holding at 142-143lbs.  That's fantastic except for the fact that my goal weight is 130lbs.  I may not reach it.  I'd like to, but I think my body is happy here.  So I've really tried to be faithful with my workouts and hopefully toning will help some of the skin issues.  I can't help but shake it though......TWELVE POUNDS!!!!  I've lost over 100lbs and I can't lose the last twelve!  I'll be honest, if I were super strict and was really diligent, I probably could.  Is it self sabotage?  Or, does it really not mean that much to hit goal?  I don't know....  I'll just keep plugging away and see where it takes me.

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