Once an addict....

Apr 23, 2009

I weighed in at 135.8lbs. this morning.  That's up from the 131.2lbs. that I weighed last Friday.  So in less than a week I've gained almost 5lbs.  I'm terrified.  It's all I've thought about this morning.  Isn't that insane!  I weighed 246lbs less than a year ago, but I'm beating myself up about this?  Yeah I am, because... 1.  I don't know how to deal with the guilt food still inflicts on my life   2.  I feel that any gain in weight is a slippery slope   3.  I've been out of control with what I'm eating.  See, I don't really dump on sugar, unless it's a lot, and so I'm pushing my limits daily.  I'm also feeling healthy again, after first having my gallbladder out, then dealing with a crazy bought of the weirdest most painful and itchy hives ever, for almost two weeks.  So I feel good enough to eat, so eat I have.  I'm actually afraid because I feel like I can eat way more than I should.  I've also been snacking way too much.  SO this is my way of be accountable.  I need prayers.  I need to give this to God and rely on HIS strength to break these habits.  I'm a food addict and like any addict I need to acknowledge that and seek help.....

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