MacOnMe

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Why do guys sit there and tell you how beautiful you are and blah blah blah, all to ask if your FRIENDS are single?!?!  Fucking Douche Bags.    

p.s. As of the 29th im 3 months out.....and all I can think about is drinking....

I think I'm at a bad place in my life right now.  I have gone through alot since my surgery.  I was very sick and in and out of the hospital.  Its been a long road to feeling better, but I feel like I'll never be back to myself.  I haven't lost much weight since surgery.  Only like 70lbs total and that's including the 30lbs I lost before.  I know I had to focus on feeling better before I could start losing weight.  Its been like 2 weeks that I haven't lost a pound.  I'm not sure if that's normal or not.  I have a really tough time with getting in the protein. I try not to tell people when I'm not feeling well. Because the answer always is to put on a heating pad. or that its just pains that go along with the surgery. 

 The doctors don't really prepare you for how lonely this process really is.  I feel like no one understands including my surgeons.   During all this you  find out who are your real friends and who aren't.    Its hard not to be sad most of the time.  Don't get me wrong I'm very grateful for losing the weight that I have so far.   I just need support and its not there.  I know that each persons experience and process is different and that no two patients are alike. I'm physically and emotionally drained.  I don't want to end up regretting this decision.  Ultimately I just want to be healthy and happy. 

I cant believe Im hours away from away surgery!  I am so excited!  Ive been wanting this since I was 16!  

Im very nauseated from these antibiotics and this magnesium citrate! But it will be all worth it in the long run! Thank you so much to everyone on OH that has supported me.  I dont know what Id do without you.  Please keep me in your prayers tomorrow!


Wish me luck!

  

Day 2 of my 2 week liquid diet.   My head hurts! I wish I could at least have one normal thing to eat a day, like a small salad or a piece of fruit.   Sugar free jello, and broth once a day along with my Medifast shakes arent doing so good right now.  I know, I know I sound like a crack addict or something!!!!!

I am in such a funk lately...I'm sad, depressed, lonely...and a number of other things.   I know I should be extremely excited right now about surgery, which I am! I'm so thankful and lucky to have insurance approval and a surgery date.  I know that having that Gastric Bypass is going to one of the hardest things I will ever have to do. I'm ready for this challenge and o start the next chapter in my life.   
I am so thankful to everyone on OH that blogs about their experience. Each person has help me in a different way.   I read all the posts and look at all the pictures and I'm so proud of everyone.  I notice that most people have a significant other even before the weight loss.  I think that's where my loneliness is coming from.  Don't get me wrong I have my family and a few friends who are here for me, but they really don't understand a fraction of how I feel or what I am about to go through.  I am so emotional these days and I have no one to talk to about it.  I know I don't need a boyfriend or a husband to get through this, but it would be nice to have someone.  I'm 25 years old and I have never been on a date, never had a boyfriend.  I have tons of guy friends, but that's exactly just what it is, friendship.  I know I'm still young and have tons of time to meet the right person, but Id at least like to have trial and error.   This partly to do with a new guy at work.  When he and I  first met I literally couldn't breath, I thought Id died and gone to heaven.  He is so nice, and funny and super easy to talk to.  We get along great. BUT each time I see him a little part of me just dies inside  I know better than to like someone like him.  I'm the last person he would look at in that way.  I work in a ER with a ton of young beautiful single doctors and nurses and he can pretty much have his pick of anyone.  I blame the fact that he wouldn't be interested in me because of me weight,.  I am scared that once the weight does eventually come off , what If i still cant find someone.  I know, I know thats  another whole set of anxiety prescriptions waiting to happen. Its just scary for me.   I don't want anyone here to think that I'm doing this surgery for vanity reasons. For me that is a perk.  I just want to me healthy and around to see my nieces grow up. I have prepared myself for all the health risks and things that are risk that may or may not happen when it comes to WLS. I just hope that if that time ever comes that I have someone to help me cross that  bridge.     Like I said Im in a funk.....

Thanks for reading...

I missed the call from the office yesterday and they were already closed when I called back, I worried all night that it was bad news! BUT this morning I callled the office and I GOT APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant even begin to express in words how I feel.  Im not gonna lie I cried so hard when she told me, I thougth the nurse was lying!  I have a surgery date of SEPT 29th.  41 Days away! Im so excited!

My name is Pamela, I am 25 years old and I have been dealing with my weight my whole life.  I have been interested in having the Gastric Bypass since I was 16 years old.  I am currently in the process of my 6 month documentation stage for my insurance company.  I have an increadible surgeon with lifeweighbariatrics.com Dr. Jeffery Rosen, and with his amazing staff my life has changed for the better already.