Where has the time gone

Jan 05, 2009

I never thought that I would have gotten so far away from writing on this site.  I guess when our forum started thinning out I just gave up on coming here and I was also pretty disgusted with my eating habits.  My life has pretty much been in a shambles the last 2 years and I am trying to get myself back on track. Soda is the only thing that I drink again and nothing else.  I was making sure I at least had some milk, but I even gave up on that.  On January 2 I gave up soda, and I think I would be doing OK if it weren't for the headaches.  I have had a few sips of soda here and there, but nothing like I was drinking.  I do have to force the water down, but I know I am still not getting enough of that.  I was going to try the 5 day pouch test, but I figured I should wait until I get over the soda hangover.

At this point I have gained about 30 pounds since 12/07.  I am 5'10 and got down to about 134 which was a little too thin for me.  I was very happy at 145.  But I got there and just kept going.  I am miserable.  I know at 165 I am by no means huge, but I feel like I have majorly let myself down.  My husband got mad at me the other day because someone told me how thin I am and I tried to explain to him how mad it makes me when people say that, because I am by no means skinny either.

I am trying to get on the elliptical 2x a day again and with no soda I am hoping it will make a little difference.  However, I got on the scales today and have gained 2 more pounds.  Hopefully I am going to get my butt in gear, because I am so scared that I am going to be fat again!!!!

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