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I have so many insecurities and thoughts about putting the breast reduction pictures up.   I never like pictures with me in them.  I love my new breasts and I want people to see how the PS can help

YIKES  Don would kill me if he knew.  He's definately having some jealousy issues.  He accused me Sunday   of talking sexy on the phone to the pharmacist at Walgreen's.  Absolutely ridiculous.  I don't even know how to talk sexy

I can't wait for Myrtle Beach.  I'm bringing Don and the boys but they were just saying that they just want to hang out  at the hotel and not go to activities.  I tried to act very disappointed.  
I love the Carrie Underwood song "Before he Cheats"  I just love how edgy she gets.  My favorite part is "Right now, he probably bringing her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey"
Not that I've ever been able to shoot whiskey, but I would love to be that person
 Later,
Mary

I've been really focused now on why I let myself weigh almost 300 pounds. I was so depressed.  Food was definately my best and sometimes only friend. As I try to lose these last 15 pounds I am scared to death.  What will stop me from doing this to myself again.  Plus I can wear medium pants and even size tens if  they are elastic.  Jeans are awful.  I tried on some 14s, they were too small.  I cried and cried.  I now weigh 168.  It was 164 before the breast reduction surgery.  I have to be 155.  That is way below Dr B's goal for me and would be a good weight for me.
   Now' I'm going to play and try to make this blog look pretty.

I can't believe it.  I typically weigh betwen 163 to 168.  Size 14s are big, size 12's are okay and in some things I wear a medium.   I am having a breast reduction in 2 weeks.  I have wonderful children and a good husband,.
   The best part is that I feel normal now.  I went to the mall this am to buy some new makeup.  I actually sat in a chair in the middle of the store while she matched colors.  I then asked her for an eye makeup lesson.  Little things, but I never would have done that before.  I would have been so self concious and would have been afraid that people would look at me.  I think I spent so much of my life hiding, hoping that no one would notice me.
   I'm going to try to add some pictures now.

Mary

   I am approaching Christmas, struggling with all of the food around me.  I wish that I still dumped.  All that I have to do though is look in the mirror and remember how good small feels.
   I am going to try and concentrate on friendships this coming year.  I have spent so much of my life trying to be a friend, but I end up being very co-dependent and hurt because I set myself up to have people disappoint me.  I have got to get past all of that.  I am worthwhile and deserve to have people in my life that give as well as take.  I am not talking about material things, but emotions.  I will plan to do something with someone, and when it falls through I react like a kindergartiner, mad because my feelings are hurt.  I've got to get rid of the baby side of my personality.
   On the plus side.  I comfortably wear a size 14, will probably be a twelve when this stomach stuff gets done.  Life with my husband is much better.  He loves to pat my butt now. 

I am one week out from my tummy tuck.  I feel good, but can't do much.  I cannot believe that I have a flat stomach.  I have had lots of thoughts lately about friendships, am getting them together then will post my changed feeling.  I went to LCBB  last week.  What an incredible bunch of women.  You can walk in without being there for months and feel like you never left.  I have to make an effort to go at least once a month. 

8/4/06
I weight 172 pounds.    I just can't believe it.  I look so much better and feel great

7/26/06
I weight 175.  I can't believe it.  I do not remember the last time I weight 175. 

 

7/17/06
My weight loss has slowed.   Its true that you really have to start trying harder after the first 6 months.  I want to get down to 160, then see about plastics.  Most people complain about their "girls" being gone,  My are here with the same DDD size, but they feel like they are sagging to my knees.  Can anyone say REDUCTION.  I am getting serious now about exercise.  I can tell that it will be the key to maintaining weight loss.  I swam laps yesterday, I can't believe how much I can swim now. 

 

6/16/06

I have been horrible about updating.  I am now 8.5 months out from surgery and have lost 106 pounds.  It is hard to believe that I've lost so much.  My mind hasn't caught up with my body,  I still feel like I weigh 280.
  This surgery has changed my life so completely.  I was so withdrawn and shy before, I didn't want anyone to notice me.  Now, I am chatting with people all over.  I go to stores at lunch just to try on clothes.
   I have even gone back to college to finish my degree.  I couldn't have fit into the desk before.
   Life is so good.  I can play with my children and flirt with my husband.  I will post some pictures soon

1/11/06   I go tomorrow for my 3 month checkup.  I am wearing size 20's and 18's for the first time in years.  Its so strange, I've lost sixty pounds, yet feel like its not enough.  I am eager to hear what Dr. Byrne has to say.

 

12/30/05  It has certainly been a wild ride, I have lost 53.5 pounds from pre surgery weight, and about 60 pounds from the highest weight every.  I sometimes see it, but other times feel so heavy.  I am working out 3 times a week, that definately helps.  I just can't wait to get into smaller sizes from regular store.  I am posting a picture of me minus 60 pounds.

12/11/05  Today has been a hard day, as was yesterday.   Lots of "head hunger, but nothing really tastes good.  I do feel much better, and have lots more energy.  I have lost about 50 pounds.  I have got to stop being so impatient,  I want the weight gone NOW.

11/19/05 - This is truly an amazing journey for me.  I have lost 40 pounds.  I am fitting into things that I couldn't before, but I don't think I have changed sizes that much.  Food is no longer a problem.  Nothing tastes really good.  I never dreamed that a protein shake would be delicious to me.  I have much more energy and I am going to start physical therapy for an exercise program this Wednesday.  I would love to lose 15 more pounds by Christmas, twenty pounds would be a dream.
   I went to a local support group.  It was so inspiring to see these wonderful ladies that have succeeded, are on the journey with me or are waiting for a date.  I feel like I have made new friends which is wonderful.
11/2/05   I can't believe it has been so long since I have posted.  I have lost 28 pounds, its fluctuating because I am so pms.  I think its really more like 32.  I can wear clothes I haven't worn in a long time which amazes me.  I feel so much better and am getting lots of complements.  It seems though like the heavier ladies at work are semi-jealous.  It is so weird to be told again that I am pretty.  I was pretty 20 years ago, I just can't imagine myself that way again.  My goal is to lose 120 pounds from presurgery weight, then reevaluate.  I am 1/4 of the way there.  Unbelievable.  I am so glad I have a friend at work who did this the same day I did.  It is fun to watch us change. 

10/5/05  I have lost ten pounds by my scale.  Clothes are loose.  I have had a problem by getting an infection at my drain site.  Dr. Byrnes office was awesome and called in an antibiotic right away.  I will just be glad when its well

 

10/3/05  I am home from the hospital.  Came home early Sunday Feel much better than I expected.  Will update later

9/29/05   Tomorrow is my big day.  I am so lucky.  I feel like I am being given a second chance with my life and health.  I am concerned about the risks, can't imagine not watching my children grow up, but the benefits definately outweight any risks for me.  See you on the losing side.

9/27/05   I am preparing for my surgery Friday morning, so many thoughts are running though my head.  I am nervous about potential risks, but I am much more excited about beginning the journey to a new me.