Sylvie McNeal

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hey everyone, i have not been on this site in a very very long time.  things are busy for me, life has changed.  one thing that is not changing is my weight.  232.  im not going anywhere with this weight and when i went to the surgeon to have a revision, he said he cannot do it.  i just had an EGD which showed i have an 8 cm pouch and a 2cm anastmosis which i should have no problem losing weight with.  what the heck is wrong with me then??  im on phentermine which i love and keeps me from eating alot, but im not losing anything.  im discouraged.  I need encouragement and someone I can talk to on a regular basis.  is there anyone out there????

Hello my follow losers and losers to be..ha ha..things are marvelous here in cold northern Maine.  Where do I start?

well..we have a new bundle of joy..she is now three months old and is a darling.  Yes, I had a baby.  Her name is Kyree and is our pride and joy.  I will upload pics as soon as I can make them smaller.  They wont work here. 

I am still struggling to lose the last 40 pounds,.,,i gained 27 with the pregnancy and still have about 12 to lose from that.

I had a very high metabolism while pregnant.  I could eat and eat and eat and was ALWAYS hungry. I ate.  but after I gave birth, my metabolism went right back to normal and now eat light like i did before.  so Its pretty cool.  i just need to eat better. 

Anyhow, I will try to come back more often. 

Hey, its been a while, past my one year date..been really busy with work and family.  I finally started working out..its taken me one whole year to be able to do it without feeling like it is going to kill me!!

It feels pretty good, I love doing what I am doing and its only been two weeks.  am hoping to start seeing results soon enough.  

hope everyone is doing well.  have not been on here for a while.

Yeah, I know its been a while, forgive me, its been a rollercoaster ride for me.  You know.  for those who have had this surgery and have experienced what I experience know that sometimes it feels like I ever wondered why I had this surgery to begin with if I was going to struggle at only 11 months out.  I mean, I have been losing weight soooo sllloowww that I think that It really did not work for me.  I guess we all think that huh? I dont know.  

I am finally down below 200 but have not met my 100 down yet.  It is a constant struggle to keep my calorie intake below 1400 because I eat so well.  sometimes, I dont have good food days, but some days, i eat so well its scary..it really is!! If I can eat that good now, what will happen later?  I try to talk myself into eating less but I am addicted still.  that never changed.  I try to talk to others on this website, but seems that no one is interested anymore, I am old news now,  had surgery and now I am on my own.  I miss the support I used to get.  You know..actual support..not YOU KNOW BETTER!!!! I really wished I had someone who could tell me that they understood, that they could give me good ideas that were realistic.  

anyhow, enough complaining. HOPE EVERYONE HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY!!!

I have not written in a while, not really feeling like I have reason to.  struggling with the fear that I will never get out of the 200 range, ever, is driving me insane.  I am only at 209.  This is rediculous. I have lost 2 pounds since July 4th.  Does that make sense to anyone?  really?  I mean look at it this way.  I am only 8 months out, and already not losing for two months??two pounds?  is that right?  I have read websites where they say that there is a honeymoon period where all you will do is lose wieght..12-18 months..mine was done in 6!!! I dont know.  I am writing things in my journal, eating right; protien, stopped all carbs, drink 8 glasses water a day, exercising when I can, sometimes, 3 miles three times a week..but alot of times its one time a week because as a nurse, i work overtime.  anyhow, I am discouraged, but talking to my surgeon I get the question "are you gaining weight?" I say no, then he says he is happy.  I AM NOT.  I need to lose another 50 pounds and at this rate, it wont happen.  I am eating about 1100 calories a day,  if i eat less than that, its starvation and I dont agree with it.  I wish I could get some answers. 

January 11, 2007, the day my life changed.  I did not feel that change too fast but now that I just spent a week with my family that has not seen me since last year, I feel very good. lifechanging..happy..but still feeling like its not what I expected.  weird huh?  I guess I thought I would feel "different"..but I really just feel like myself..just in smaller clothes..I know I may not make sense..but thats how I feel.

I am now at 211, down 80 pounds.  Thats pretty good for not quite 6 months..but this past week, I have not lost a pound.  I am scared, as I always am, because I can eat more than most people said they could eat at 6 months out.  I can eat like 3/4 cup, sometimes a whole cup.  I dont measure, I just eat till I am full.  I got tired of being such a fanatic about how much I ate, but like now, I think I may have stretched my tummy..but at the same time, I know I am NOT eating 1800 cals..no way!! I probably eat like 1100..maybe even less.  I dont graze..not much anyhow,,maybe at night, i will have something..but during the day i eat breakfast, lunch and dinner..then something at night sometime.  shrugs..oh well.  i was talking to someone in the room that said its good to be at a standstill at times, to allow the body to rest.

alot of people asked me when we would start thinking about a baby.  we want another..i figured getting off the pill in december.  thats about right for me.  my biological clock is ticking.almost 37.  thats another thing I have to seriously start thinking about soon.

other than that, i still cant eat chinese, it really does not stress me out though. i just stay away from the stuff..ha ha.  i will write next time when i see the surgeon.  tootloooooo...

well, 5 months out, 20 weeks. and from what the dr scale says, i lost 70 pounds, 100 pounds from my highest weight.  I feel pretty good, can eat just about anything but chinese food, and i dont even miss it really.

I do find I have more pains now though, I feel more sore, my legs, my hips..i never had pain like that before.  why is that?  I always figured that something else would go wrong if I lost weight.  You know.  like arthritis or something more dangerous.  Not everyone I am sure feels like that, but for some reason, I do about my body.  Something is not right.  

I am walking more and doing more outside the house now, but still not enough.  I cannot wait till summer hits us and we go on vacation.  I need one bad.  I just want to celebrate my being alive and well.  I do feel good.

till next time....

This is week 13.  I dont feel I lost a thing in a week again, as a matter of fact, my scale is showing a 4 pound weight gain!! GO FIGURE!!!!..I have not vomitted, but then again, I am so careful.  I have, however, noticed a change in my mental status. I have noticed myself very depressed and grouchy and my poor family, they have suffered from my rants.  I just cannot seem to stop worrying about everything!!!

I need to relax and enjoy this ride, and frankly at this point, I am needing time to relax.  the weather is NOT helping..the storms we have gotten, snow, ice, rain, then snow again, is not good for the morale.  I need sun!! I cannot afford to go to a tanning booth or anything so I need something to help me.  Dr did give me Xanax to help me sleep and it is helping, but I just need to be outside a bit more.  again tomorrow, announcing rain and snow..it wont stop!!!!! GOD SEND SOME SUN!!!!

anyhow, enough rants.  i have been taking 2 vites a day, 2 calciums a day, not drinking too much milk, it fils me up too much, makes me feel yucky for like 2 hours.  well...enough of the rants..talk soon!!!!

Well, I went for my EGD last wednesday and doc found a nice big fat ole ulcer.  Yep, I am now on Carafate for a YEAR!! and I know just what brought that on!  STRESS and ANXIETY.  So now I must work on learning new ways to control my stress.  I am happy that I know what is wrong.  THis way I can work with it.  Since I started my medication, I feel great!! Its a wonderful feeling when you can eat and not vomit all the time. 

I am still at 50 pounds lost, been there about 1 week and half.  no matter what I do, I aint losing fast.  I will just shrug and be grateful that I am where I am.  I have not weighed 240 since 11th grade.  So even if i am doomed to stay at this weight, then so be it.  I am still eating about 1/2 cup (4oz) per meal but I eat lil snacks between my meals.  I hope to get out of that soon.  I so dont like to snack but its so hard when I am at work. 
I have also started on cream soups as snacks.  its drinkable and protien.  thats what i like about it. 

There are so many conflicts about how many calories I need to be eating.  My surgeon says not to worry about calories as long as I get my nutrients in but we all know that I can still pack on a good 1400 cals if i wanted just by snacking.  I need a better foundation to stand on then just that.  I try to eat right, but I dont know if I am doing well.  I have yet to see my dietition since my surgery and that upsets me too.  I tried to call for an appt but they are never in the office.  So try again I shall.  I really do not want to fail in this.  I am so scared that I will never reach my goal.  well.  Thats all i have for you today.  Talk to you all later.

Hi everyone, its been a while.  Just wanted to let you all know I have to go for an EGD on friday because I have been vomitting alot lately.  Yesterday, I could not eat at all all day, by nightfall, I was so weak, my knees were knocking.  I managed to down 1/2 cup chili and thats it.  So, until friday, I am on pureed foods then we will see.

I am down to 242, a total loss so far of 48 pounds.  I am happy with that loss.  I have not been this light in 15 years!!! Will let you know how I do with the EGD