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Wow   i never knew how much crap we consume on valentines day . till this year  . ihave had chocolate and candies and cakes and pies and  god you name it  shoved at me . everone saying  "oh you can have just one Bite"  But  to the test of my will power  I am very very proud to say I  said no to it all .
I am serching now for a valintines tradion to start for my self to end the cany and the food  thing and start a tradion of sending love in stead .
' r

I have hit the wall of slowing down in my weight loss . I go to group last week and everyone is talking about cheating and doing the things that they should not do . I sat there and watched and listened and thought  Have I cheated ? I truley could not find anything i had cheated on . I was told they didnt believe me that I hadnt eaten cookies or something that I use to eat . I cant tell them i have when I havent . I dont want to cheat or want to not do the things I was told to do. I see the ones who are two years out and gaining back . It scares me  . I dont want to be that person . I want to be healthy I want to do good . Why would you go through all of this to just screw up.

I have found the mnew me and it scares me sometimes  I look in the mirroe and wonder who is that. Is  it really me . I have loss a lot of weight  I hate the way everthing hangs and I truely find it discusting but I remind my self it will go away when I can affors surgery to take the extra fat off . So It helps . But I find My attuidue changing The no I cant is going to the yes I can . I am finding a voice and  staring to  take the things I want and need .  The one thing I  want is still otu there  that is aprtner  but I Am willing to wait  for I need to find myself first  then I will find my partner .