Mamabiggems
Scared of the new me
Feb 03, 2009
I have hit the wall of slowing down in my weight loss . I go to group last week and everyone is talking about cheating and doing the things that they should not do . I sat there and watched and listened and thought Have I cheated ? I truley could not find anything i had cheated on . I was told they didnt believe me that I hadnt eaten cookies or something that I use to eat . I cant tell them i have when I havent . I dont want to cheat or want to not do the things I was told to do. I see the ones who are two years out and gaining back . It scares me . I dont want to be that person . I want to be healthy I want to do good . Why would you go through all of this to just screw up.I have found the mnew me and it scares me sometimes I look in the mirroe and wonder who is that. Is it really me . I have loss a lot of weight I hate the way everthing hangs and I truely find it discusting but I remind my self it will go away when I can affors surgery to take the extra fat off . So It helps . But I find My attuidue changing The no I cant is going to the yes I can . I am finding a voice and staring to take the things I want and need . The one thing I want is still otu there that is aprtner but I Am willing to wait for I need to find myself first then I will find my partner .
