Introduction

Jan 25, 2017

 Hello everyone!

I started my first journey in 2009.  I decided that the Lapband was the perfect thing for me because I had yet to have children and it was easy to manipulate to take the fluid in and out.  I went through the 6 months of PCP visits, psych eval, pulmonary and cardiac clearances.  And on October 21, 2009, my lapband was placed.  When I went to the first follow up that I could get a fill, the dr had difficulty.  After an hour of him painfully poking around in my belly near my port, he decided to take me to radiology to try to see it under fluoroscopy.  After trying again, he realized that the port had flipped and so he couldnt access it.  Shortly after that, he took me back for outpatient surgery to fix the port.  So needless to say, the beginning was not the start I had anticipated.

Within the first year, I called for a follow up and was told that the Dr I had left and all of his patients were referred to a different group.  I was irritated because I was just there and no one said ANYTHING about him leaving.  At this point, I had gone from 309lb when I started the preop phase to around 270lb.  This new dr told me that since I had plateaued for awhile that I was probably done losing.  He said that that amount of weight was about what I would be expected to lose.  I was completely devastated.  I was still considered morbidly obese!  Completely heartbroken.   It really made me lose a bit of motivation.  I didnt start regaining but I did stop losing and I felt hopeless.  

In March of 2012, I found out I was pregnant with my first miracle baby.  We had tried to get pregnant for about 2 years and finally, the test was positive!!!!!  I followed up and told the Dr that I wanted the fluid removed because at this point, I was getting food stuck at least once a day and I wanted the best chance for my baby.  Once I got the fluid out, I finally realized just how miserable that life was for me.  I went from throwing up because of it getting stuck to being able to eat again.  Oct 2012, we welcomed out first son, Noah, to the world.  I decided that I truly hated the feeling of the stuck food so I was not going back to get it filled.  

In July 2014, we found out we were expecting and in April 2015, we welcomed our second son, Jack, to the world.  Shortly after his arrival, food started to get stuck again.  At first it was occasionally and now it is daily again.  I dont want to go out to eat because who wants to eat with someone that has to leave to throw up?  Its just easier to eat at my house just in case.  I do not enjoy life like I should.  My access port has always been something I felt, but in the last few months, the pain at the port site has increased immensely.   I cant lay on my belly (I am a belly sleeper) because it hurts and if it doesnt when I go to sleep,  when I wake up its excruciating. 

I am getting to the point of depression that it is really effecting the life around me.  I have no joy in things that I should.  My children are everything to me and I am not the mother I should be because of my depression and weight.  I have regained most of my weight. 

I am a nurse and recently had a patient that had a lapband and had it removed. So I asked him a bunch of questions.  I have always had it in the back of my mind to change to a bypass but recently with the pain and trying to lose on my own without success, I have come to the decision that what is best for me is to get the band removed and do a revision to a gastric bypass.  My heart hurts because I know that there are people in my life that will not understand and will not be happy about the decision I have made.  I know that they will love and support me because that is the type of relationship we have.  I have to do what is best for me and my boys.  I spoke to my husband last night and he has concerns, which I expected but he said he will be by my side the entire journey, just as he was with the first one.

I feel like such a failure with the lapband.  I feel like my first surgeon wasnt completely upfront with me on my options and didnt explain everything to me.  I regret not getting the bypass in 2009.  But these are all things that I can not change and I have to move forward.

My current situation is that the second dr I was referred to has also left and so I am trying to switch to Hope Bariatrics because their office and hospital where the surgery will be is closer to home and I just had a friend have a great experience with them.  So I requested my records to be faxed to them and I am waiting on their response as to whether or not they will accept me as their patient (fingers crossed!)

Not sure if anyone is going to read these blog posts but it makes me feel better to get it out and to share my journey.  If it helps someone else make the right decision, then it has done its purpose.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Carrie                         

8 Comments

About Me
39.3
BMI
RNY
Surgery
03/24/2017
Surgery Date
Jan 25, 2017
Member Since

Before & After
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209lbs

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