mandajolyn
Changes, new viewpoints and Life!!!
Sep 29, 2011
So It's been quite some time since I last updated here! havent had a computer! Lots of stuff going on in life, lots of changes! April 1st my husband had RNY and has done remarkable! Other than a stricture he was complication free and recovered VERY well! He had to really adjust to slowing down and making sure he chewed his food well. I think we get so used to just shoveling food in and not even really tasting what we're eating. Those habits tend to be hard to break! He's now down 100 lbs and I'm so proud of him and everything he's accomplished! Making the choice to get healthy has been the best choice we've made together.
For me it was VERY different seeing him go through surgery! I'm so used to being the patient and him always taking care of me! I wasn't sure how I would respond to that role switching! It was to say the least very difficult but I know it's something I had to experience! Waiting for him to come out of surgery was hard, thank God I had two very good friends there to keep me as calm as possible! I thought I'd be ok and for the most part I was....until they brought him into his room!!! WOW, I wasn't expecting to react the way I did to seeing him white as the sheets on the bed, helpless, and barely awake! They assured me he was fine but my mind went to instant worry! He's never been through surgery before so I didn't know how it would affect him. He got sick and was throwing up mucus and some old blood which scared me even more! Even in this state he was trying to get me to go to the hall so I didn't have to see him throw up because he knows I have a weak stomach. I'll admit it, seeing him like this when for the last 8+ years he's always been the strong one so to see him vulnerable and weak broke my heart! There were several times I had to leave the room because I didn't want him to see me so upset. I finally realized how he's felt for so many years as he's watched me go through so much medically! I finally got how helpless he feels when he sees me hurting and helpless! It's hard to watch the person you love most go through that! Makes you want to take away their pain and fix them! It was something I needed to experience!
As the frist night went on his color became more normal and he was more awake and starting to get back to his sarcastic self! He rebounded very quickly and wasn't in to much pain!
After things settled and he came home and began recovery I had just passed my one year mark and decided to talk to my Dr. about our goal of trying to get pregnant! My husband and I had talked about it for a while and we've wanted to become parents for many years but because of my weight, PCOS, and fertility issues I was told it would probably never happen! One of my main reasons for having weight loss surgery was to be able to have children! It wasn't just something we could do without much thought! I have to deal with a lot of medical issues and mental health issues that complicBate things and the choice to get pregnant wasn't going to be an easy one! Once I talked to my surgeon and had his ok to go ahead and start trying I had to discuss with my other Drs about the safest way to go about this. I was on serious psych meds that I had to get off of BEFORE getting pregnant. It wouldn't be safe to get pregnant then come off the meds as that would more than likely cause a spiral and wouldn't be safe for me or baby! So I made the choice to wean off of most of the psych meds I was taking. I was left on the antidepressant and the anxiety medications for the time being.
I've learned that even the best laid plans sometimes just don't go the way you think they should/will! We try so hard to have control over a situation, trying to make it happen when we want it to happen and make it the way we want it to be! Ummm....life doesn't work like that! Our plans mean nothing in the grand scheme of life! I've realized that God's plans are always bigger than my own and don't always happen when I think they should! I got into tracking my cycles, making sure I timed everything right and it became stressful and every negative test would break my heart and it would make me feel like a failure! I began to wonder why I should expect anything more than what I've gotten for years! Old negative self talk kicked in and really messed with my head! I love that I have people in my life who will bring me back into reality and get me to see things in a different way. I decided that we shouldn't try so hard to make something happen and just let things be what they are! I had gotten to a place where I HATED with every fiber of my being, taking a pregnancy test! I was thinking why waste the money because every time I got one, one of two things would ALWAYS happen! Either it would be negative or my period would start so I put it off as long as I could because it was just that awful!
Woke up one morning and hung my head as a moped my way to the bathroom, did what I had to do and waited for the obvious! As I washed my hands I glanced over and to my amazement I saw TWO very clear lines!! I just stood there waiting for one to go away then screamed for my husband! Poor guy thought I was hurt so he comes running down the stairs and all I could say was "what is that?" pointing to the bathroom counter! Both of us were speechless and I don't think it really set in. We were about to leave and I remember a friend asking me if I was ok because he said I looked like someone had just given me the most shocking news.....um YEA!! 4 positive pregnancy tests later it started to sink in that this was really happening!
It's now been 4 1/2 months and things have been very chaotic! I'm high risk because of the blood clot I had after WLS and because of my medical history. I knew this wasn't going to be easy but I had no idea just how hard it was going to be! My first appointment was good. I'll never forget the moment I saw the baby for the first time and in the middle of this little mass was a flickering, then she turned on the sound!! The most amazing sound I've ever heard! At that moment it became very real and my husband was wrapped! We had a scare at 12 weeks with bleeding and weren't sure if baby was going to make it but all turned out fine. Just when I started to relax I get a call telling me that I have a rare blood clotting disorder! It's scary and can be dangerous but I'm glad it was caught and there's something that can be done to ensure I have a healthy pregnancy! I've lost some weight but not to much and have remained the same weight for most of the pregnancy so far. I am battling the self image monster who wants to try to convince me that I'm regaining all the weight I've lost and I'm getting bigger! I have to keep reminding myself...it's baby, not fat!! I think it's something most women who've had WLS and go on to get pregnant deal with! The fear that they'll lose all the progress they made. I wish it wasn't such an issue for so many because it's not healthy! Other than elevated pain, not being able to keep much of anything down and bouts of intense anxiety and depression We're very excited!
WLS has given me my life back, given me the chance to be healthy and given me the greatest gift of all...the chance to become a mother! That alone makes this whole journey worth as I wanted kids for so many years, looking back I can't imagine going through pregnancy being as sick as I was! 450+ lbs with extremely high blood pressure, severe pain, sleep apnea, gerd, headed straight for diabetes and heart disease...there's NO way that would've resulted in a healthy pregnancy or baby! I'm very grateful that I allowed myself the chance to be as healthy as possible before bringing a child into the world! I couldn't take care of myself, how would I have been able to care for an infant?
I look forward to the future and what this journey brings next! It's always interesting and I'm always experiencing things now that I never thought I would be!
2 comments
For me it was VERY different seeing him go through surgery! I'm so used to being the patient and him always taking care of me! I wasn't sure how I would respond to that role switching! It was to say the least very difficult but I know it's something I had to experience! Waiting for him to come out of surgery was hard, thank God I had two very good friends there to keep me as calm as possible! I thought I'd be ok and for the most part I was....until they brought him into his room!!! WOW, I wasn't expecting to react the way I did to seeing him white as the sheets on the bed, helpless, and barely awake! They assured me he was fine but my mind went to instant worry! He's never been through surgery before so I didn't know how it would affect him. He got sick and was throwing up mucus and some old blood which scared me even more! Even in this state he was trying to get me to go to the hall so I didn't have to see him throw up because he knows I have a weak stomach. I'll admit it, seeing him like this when for the last 8+ years he's always been the strong one so to see him vulnerable and weak broke my heart! There were several times I had to leave the room because I didn't want him to see me so upset. I finally realized how he's felt for so many years as he's watched me go through so much medically! I finally got how helpless he feels when he sees me hurting and helpless! It's hard to watch the person you love most go through that! Makes you want to take away their pain and fix them! It was something I needed to experience!
As the frist night went on his color became more normal and he was more awake and starting to get back to his sarcastic self! He rebounded very quickly and wasn't in to much pain!
After things settled and he came home and began recovery I had just passed my one year mark and decided to talk to my Dr. about our goal of trying to get pregnant! My husband and I had talked about it for a while and we've wanted to become parents for many years but because of my weight, PCOS, and fertility issues I was told it would probably never happen! One of my main reasons for having weight loss surgery was to be able to have children! It wasn't just something we could do without much thought! I have to deal with a lot of medical issues and mental health issues that complicBate things and the choice to get pregnant wasn't going to be an easy one! Once I talked to my surgeon and had his ok to go ahead and start trying I had to discuss with my other Drs about the safest way to go about this. I was on serious psych meds that I had to get off of BEFORE getting pregnant. It wouldn't be safe to get pregnant then come off the meds as that would more than likely cause a spiral and wouldn't be safe for me or baby! So I made the choice to wean off of most of the psych meds I was taking. I was left on the antidepressant and the anxiety medications for the time being.
I've learned that even the best laid plans sometimes just don't go the way you think they should/will! We try so hard to have control over a situation, trying to make it happen when we want it to happen and make it the way we want it to be! Ummm....life doesn't work like that! Our plans mean nothing in the grand scheme of life! I've realized that God's plans are always bigger than my own and don't always happen when I think they should! I got into tracking my cycles, making sure I timed everything right and it became stressful and every negative test would break my heart and it would make me feel like a failure! I began to wonder why I should expect anything more than what I've gotten for years! Old negative self talk kicked in and really messed with my head! I love that I have people in my life who will bring me back into reality and get me to see things in a different way. I decided that we shouldn't try so hard to make something happen and just let things be what they are! I had gotten to a place where I HATED with every fiber of my being, taking a pregnancy test! I was thinking why waste the money because every time I got one, one of two things would ALWAYS happen! Either it would be negative or my period would start so I put it off as long as I could because it was just that awful!
Woke up one morning and hung my head as a moped my way to the bathroom, did what I had to do and waited for the obvious! As I washed my hands I glanced over and to my amazement I saw TWO very clear lines!! I just stood there waiting for one to go away then screamed for my husband! Poor guy thought I was hurt so he comes running down the stairs and all I could say was "what is that?" pointing to the bathroom counter! Both of us were speechless and I don't think it really set in. We were about to leave and I remember a friend asking me if I was ok because he said I looked like someone had just given me the most shocking news.....um YEA!! 4 positive pregnancy tests later it started to sink in that this was really happening!
It's now been 4 1/2 months and things have been very chaotic! I'm high risk because of the blood clot I had after WLS and because of my medical history. I knew this wasn't going to be easy but I had no idea just how hard it was going to be! My first appointment was good. I'll never forget the moment I saw the baby for the first time and in the middle of this little mass was a flickering, then she turned on the sound!! The most amazing sound I've ever heard! At that moment it became very real and my husband was wrapped! We had a scare at 12 weeks with bleeding and weren't sure if baby was going to make it but all turned out fine. Just when I started to relax I get a call telling me that I have a rare blood clotting disorder! It's scary and can be dangerous but I'm glad it was caught and there's something that can be done to ensure I have a healthy pregnancy! I've lost some weight but not to much and have remained the same weight for most of the pregnancy so far. I am battling the self image monster who wants to try to convince me that I'm regaining all the weight I've lost and I'm getting bigger! I have to keep reminding myself...it's baby, not fat!! I think it's something most women who've had WLS and go on to get pregnant deal with! The fear that they'll lose all the progress they made. I wish it wasn't such an issue for so many because it's not healthy! Other than elevated pain, not being able to keep much of anything down and bouts of intense anxiety and depression We're very excited!
WLS has given me my life back, given me the chance to be healthy and given me the greatest gift of all...the chance to become a mother! That alone makes this whole journey worth as I wanted kids for so many years, looking back I can't imagine going through pregnancy being as sick as I was! 450+ lbs with extremely high blood pressure, severe pain, sleep apnea, gerd, headed straight for diabetes and heart disease...there's NO way that would've resulted in a healthy pregnancy or baby! I'm very grateful that I allowed myself the chance to be as healthy as possible before bringing a child into the world! I couldn't take care of myself, how would I have been able to care for an infant?
I look forward to the future and what this journey brings next! It's always interesting and I'm always experiencing things now that I never thought I would be!
Can't believe it's been a year!!
Mar 25, 2011
This last year has gone by fast but it's been a crazy ride and it's far from over. I survived my first year as a post op and am doing good overall! It's hard to wrap my mind around all that's changed in the last year. So many ups and downs, little things that make this all worth while. The things I can do now that I wouldn't dream of even trying a year ago are vast! My blood pressure and cholesterol are perfect, I can see my feet, shower standing up, walk a mile and not feel like I'm dying, tie my shoes without the knot being on the side, sit in any chair, booth and feel comfortable, cross my legs, have my husband pick me up without breaking his back, and many many more! For me all these small things mean more than the number on the scale. It's important but When I went into this journey my 2 main goals were to be healthy, and to be able to have children! I can honestly say if I were to not lose another pound yet be healthy and be able to have babies, I'd be OK with that. I've lost 170 pounds and there are no words to describe how grateful I am to be where I'm at! WLS has saved my life in more ways than I can count.
I can't sit here and tell you it was in any way easy or always positive because it hasn't been. There have been moments of regret, frustration, battles with my mind, trying so hard to not give into those old habits, relearning everything when it comes to eating, nutrition, and who I am. I've always felt that the psychological aspect of this journey was just as important as the other aspects and still feel that way. As I work on getting to know and like this new me, I am also working on old issues and old behaviors that are so hard to overcome.
Looking back a year ago this journey seemed impossible, overwhelming and something I wasn't sure I could do but the more time I spend on this journey the more I start to understand that I have it within me to be healthy and to live the life I deserve to live. This past year has shown me that anything is possible! What's next? Well, I get to support my husband on his WLS journey and we get to start our family! I'm blessed and grateful to be where I am and I look forward to what God has in store for me next!!
3 comments
I can't sit here and tell you it was in any way easy or always positive because it hasn't been. There have been moments of regret, frustration, battles with my mind, trying so hard to not give into those old habits, relearning everything when it comes to eating, nutrition, and who I am. I've always felt that the psychological aspect of this journey was just as important as the other aspects and still feel that way. As I work on getting to know and like this new me, I am also working on old issues and old behaviors that are so hard to overcome.
Looking back a year ago this journey seemed impossible, overwhelming and something I wasn't sure I could do but the more time I spend on this journey the more I start to understand that I have it within me to be healthy and to live the life I deserve to live. This past year has shown me that anything is possible! What's next? Well, I get to support my husband on his WLS journey and we get to start our family! I'm blessed and grateful to be where I am and I look forward to what God has in store for me next!!
1 yr visit with surgeon!
Mar 18, 2011
My one year isn't until the 26th but I had my one year post op visit last Wednesday. It went really well and he's very impressed with how I've done. His goal for me at the one year mark was 129-135 pounds lost well I blew his goal out of the water, lol I'm down 166 as of this morning from my surgery weight of 426! He's happy with how I'm progressing and says my consistant weight loss has showed him I'm doing what i'm supposed to be doing. He's given me the go ahead to start trying to get pregnant which has been a process because it's not as simple as just getting pregnant for me. I've had to in the last few months wean off dangerous medications, start taking extra vitamins and it's been exhausting and hard to deal with at times but I know the end result will be worth it. Having children was one of the main goals for me having WLS to begin with so to know that dream is more atainable now is amazing. I'm seeing a therapist to help me deal with the self image issues and other things that are creeping back into my life. It's vital for me to deal with old issues and find healthy ways to cope with life and stress. He's helping me deal with and address the self defeating mentality that I've had most of my life. I'm excited to see how far I've come in the last year and can't believe all the changes that have taken place. It's just the beginning and it'll take some getting used to!
2 comments
Walking out of my comfort zone!
Feb 16, 2011
Participating in any walking event always sounded like a good idea and I always thought to myself "maybe someday". You see, walking was a major challenge not even a year ago. At 426+ pounds, a major back injury and bad ankles all made walking something I couldn't do much of. It limited what I did, where I went, and severely affected my life. I became a recluse, a shut in, agoraphobic and was terrified of simply going outside of my house because I knew the physical pain that would follow. 158 pounds lighter and walking is a lot easier these days. There's still the back injury and the bad ankles which still give me problems but I'm not limited like I was a year ago. Stairs don't scare me anymore, shopping doesn't terrify me nearly as much, and just simply leaving my home is something I do a lot more of! I'm making this year a year of I can, versus all the I can'ts that have been my life for so long! I find myself being more social and forcing myself to step outside my comfort zones and challenge myself to take on life! Last weekend I was told about the Walk For Life that happens every year in support of A woman's pregnancy center here in Tallahassee and I told my husband I wanted to do it! Last year I would've had every excuse in the book as to why I couldn't do something like this, but this year is different! I have a few friends who are into marathons and I have watched their journeys and have been inspired. Hoping that someday I would be able to do something like that! What better way to start than to walk? It's only a few miles but it's SO much more than I could have done less than a year ago! So, on Feb. 26th, which happens to be 11 months since I had weight loss surgery I will get up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday and participate in The Walk for Life! As someone who loves children and desires to have a family it's a cause that means a lot to me. I know how important women's health is and how important it is to support healthy pregnancy! If you'd like to help me by sponsoring me please let me know or you can go to this website lifeline-awpc.org/online%20sponsor.htm and make an online donation or pledge! Amanda Matthews is my name :)
I'm super excited to challenge myself to step out of my comfort bubble and actively participate in life!
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I'm super excited to challenge myself to step out of my comfort bubble and actively participate in life!
10 months and a battle with my brain!
Jan 28, 2011
I can't believe it's already been 10 months since I had WLS!! It's been a surreal, crazy ride and somehow it all seems to be catching up to me now. I think I've handled the changes overall pretty well until recently. Over the last ten months I've had moments where I think I'm still bigger but usually I can look at my progress pictures and snap out of it. For some reason lately even when I look at pictures or in the mirror I see HUGE!! I want to put on my over sized sweat pants and t shirts and hide! Nothing seems to look good and I have this perception that I'm still so big. I have a lot of sagging skin, especially in my belly and I know that doesn't help matters much. The reality of it is, I'm not that 450 pound woman I was a year ago!! I have lost 152 pounds, I see the number on the scale and the jeans that are 10 sizes smaller but my mind doesn't get it!!
Maybe it's a funk I'm in or something! I'm seeing a therapist so that I can get out of my head and learn to embrace this new person I'm becoming. It's scary because I'm at a place I've never been before, I'm doing things I've never done before and It's all foreign to me! It'll take time to adjust and I know that I'll get there, it's just frustrating when your mind doesn't see the reality of what's there! Regardless, I'm proud of myself for all I've accomplished in the last ten months and I'm really enjoying living life! I'm a work in progress I know! I guess when you spend most of your life so big, it's hard to grasp the changes and the smaller you! I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm not that person anymore! It's hard to believe that I'm almost a year out but I don't regret a thing and I'm anxious to see what lies ahead! With a little help and a lot of faith I know it can only get better right?
I weigh myself on Fridays because that's the day I had surgery and this morning I stepped on the scale and saw 274, 152 pounds lost since surgery!! WOW!
Now to beat it into my thick head, lol I think I'll go try on my old jeans, maybe that will help!
3 comments
Maybe it's a funk I'm in or something! I'm seeing a therapist so that I can get out of my head and learn to embrace this new person I'm becoming. It's scary because I'm at a place I've never been before, I'm doing things I've never done before and It's all foreign to me! It'll take time to adjust and I know that I'll get there, it's just frustrating when your mind doesn't see the reality of what's there! Regardless, I'm proud of myself for all I've accomplished in the last ten months and I'm really enjoying living life! I'm a work in progress I know! I guess when you spend most of your life so big, it's hard to grasp the changes and the smaller you! I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm not that person anymore! It's hard to believe that I'm almost a year out but I don't regret a thing and I'm anxious to see what lies ahead! With a little help and a lot of faith I know it can only get better right? I weigh myself on Fridays because that's the day I had surgery and this morning I stepped on the scale and saw 274, 152 pounds lost since surgery!! WOW!
Now to beat it into my thick head, lol I think I'll go try on my old jeans, maybe that will help! Preparing for the unknown!
Jan 21, 2011
It's a human condition to want to know what lies ahead. The unknowns in life can be scary and unpredictable. No one knows what will happen or how we'll react and handle certain situations we're in. This year brings with it a lot of unknown and a lot of hope. This journey I've been on for the past 10 months has been full of surprises and unexpected outcomes that have impacted every aspect of my life. It's no secret that my desire to be a mother is very strong! As I get healthier and take better care of myself the possibility of that dream is more real than ever. At 450 pounds that dream was nothing more than an unreachable goal that really made me feel like I was broken somehow. I felt like it would never happen no matter how much I wanted it to. My health and my weight made conceiving a child impossible. I always thought I'd have children young and didn't realize that I needed to be healthy and in a better place before I brought a child into this world. For the first time my body is functioning like it should and I understand now the reasons God had me wait. From day one, my choice to have bariatric surgery had very little to do with being skinny and everything to do with being healthy and being able to have children. It was advised that I wait a year after having surgery before trying to conceive and as I get closer to 1 year since surgery it's something that is on my mind. As I focus on being as healthy as I can be and taking the steps I need to take in order to have the best possibility of having children I'm faced with a lot of anxieties and worry. It's an emotional roller coaster and there are a lot of issues that I'm dealing with as we talk and think about starting our family. There are things that I am dealing with that complicate an already complicated process. As I do more research, read about other women who have been unable to conceive prior to bariatric surgery but who have gone on to have healthy babies post op I'm hopeful but scared! Aside from being a post op bariatric patient I deal with severe mental illness and chronic pain. I'm aware that if I want to even think about becoming pregnant I need to address the situations that could potentially be very dangerous. I take medications to manage my mental illness, most of which are unsafe to take during pregnancy. I addressed my desire to start a family with my psychiatrist and didn't expect the reaction I got from him. He flat out told me that it's a bad idea for me to be pregnant because I'll be unstable without my meds and since I can't take most psych meds while pregnant I just shouldn't do it! WOW, I wasn't sure how to react. I don't think he understood that I was fully aware of the risks associated with the situation and that I was asking him to help me find the safest plan. I'm faced with a great deal of anxiety over this and I find myself doubting whether or not I will be able to handle being pregnant and not on medications. Deep down I realize that I'm strong enough, I have enough support, and with God's help I'll be able to handle any situation that comes my way but the doubt and the fear still linger! As my physical health has improved so has my mental health! I'm no longer in a constant state of hopeless misery! I feel better about myself and although I know that I still have these mental health issues, I'm in a much better place now than I was then. I'm in a state of panic and uncertainty because I've been on these medications for a long time and in the past (pre-op) have had some issues with being off of them. I've become dependent on them in so many ways to help keep me mentally stable. I'm not sure how or even if I'll be able to cope well without them and my poor husband tends to be on the receiving end of my frustrations and that's not how I want it to be and he doesn't deserve that! The more I think about it the more I realize I'm going to have to find some way to deal with whatever comes up in a healthy way. I can't turn to food anymore and I shouldn't be taking it out on my husband. I am joining a gym in hopes that by exercising more not only will I get stronger but it'll be a physical outlet that will help me manage. I'm also submersing myself in my music, writing, social interactions, therapy and a lot of prayer! God's brought me through some pretty tough times! I have faith that he'll bring me through this as well. I'm excited for the next chapter in our lives and look forward to becoming a mother! If it were only possible to turn off the chaos in my mind long enough but I know the reality of it is something I'll have to face! He's excited and wants very much to be a father and as we travel this journey together I know that It'll bring us closer together.
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Pain, lots of pain...and some good news too!!
Jan 08, 2011
It's been one of those weeks where the pre op me would bury herself in several pints of Ben & Jerry's and as much junk food as possible! All I've wanted to do all week is eat and sleep and be a mope! Ever since I had WLS my monthly friend has returned which is a blessing in reality but a curse as well! The cramps, moodiness, irritability have multiplied ten fold since WLS and to add insult to injury I'm bipolar so for two weeks I'm psycho...quite literally!! My poor husband can't do anything right for two weeks, lol and all I can do is cry like a baby and apologize profusely for being a total bitch to him for no reason at all! To make my week that much better yesterday while at the Chiropractor's office no less, my back goes into a major and complete spasm which radiates into my legs leaving me against the wall, hunched over unable to stand straight or bend over anymore than I already was. It hasn't flared up this bad in a very long time! Searing, burning pain coursing through my lower body and it felt as though someone set fire to my lower half! Ironically I had just been telling the Dr. how great I've been feeling!
I was alone, usually my husband goes with me but he had to work so I was stuck, unable to move for a while! I managed to gimp out to my car and thankfully it was a short, straight shot to my husband's work so I cruise controlled it! Not the safest option I know but there wasn't much else I could do! So I get to spend my weekend sitting on an ice pack drugged up on pain meds and muscle relaxers in hopes that I can do any moving at all!
On the up side, earlier yesterday I was having lunch with my hubby and I had picked up a letter from his primary to drop of to our surgeon for his WLS. I knew the surgeon needed the letter, but he tells me that he's been approved! I didn't know that!!! He was approved by our insurance earlier in the week and the only thing they needed was the Dr's letter! I'm so excited for him and so happy that I get to be on the other side of WLS and take care of him and help him on his journey. I'm grateful for the support he's given me the last 9 months as I've gone through having WLS and all the complications that I've had to deal with. He tells me I've inspired him to want to be healthy and that he wants to be as healthy as he can be not only for his life but for our life together and the lives of our future family! To say I'm proud to be his wife is an understatement! This man is my best friend and we've been through hell and back together so to see him get healthier makes me so happy!
So that's been my week! Not all bad but a pain in the ass...literally!!
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I was alone, usually my husband goes with me but he had to work so I was stuck, unable to move for a while! I managed to gimp out to my car and thankfully it was a short, straight shot to my husband's work so I cruise controlled it! Not the safest option I know but there wasn't much else I could do! So I get to spend my weekend sitting on an ice pack drugged up on pain meds and muscle relaxers in hopes that I can do any moving at all!
On the up side, earlier yesterday I was having lunch with my hubby and I had picked up a letter from his primary to drop of to our surgeon for his WLS. I knew the surgeon needed the letter, but he tells me that he's been approved! I didn't know that!!! He was approved by our insurance earlier in the week and the only thing they needed was the Dr's letter! I'm so excited for him and so happy that I get to be on the other side of WLS and take care of him and help him on his journey. I'm grateful for the support he's given me the last 9 months as I've gone through having WLS and all the complications that I've had to deal with. He tells me I've inspired him to want to be healthy and that he wants to be as healthy as he can be not only for his life but for our life together and the lives of our future family! To say I'm proud to be his wife is an understatement! This man is my best friend and we've been through hell and back together so to see him get healthier makes me so happy!
So that's been my week! Not all bad but a pain in the ass...literally!!
Happy New Year!!
Dec 31, 2010
So here it is the last night of 2010 and I've done a lot of reflecting on the craziness that was this year! I never thought in a million years I'd be where I am right now! It's been an amazing end to a crazy roller coaster of a year! My husband surprised me on Christmas buy getting me a piano! I've played since I was little and hadn't played in a long time but still had a passion for the piano. He knew it was a dream of mine to own my own and play again! It's amazing because it's always been my escape, when the world was crazy playing the piano was my therapy for a long time and I missed that so much! Now that food is no longer my crutch I've had to find new, healthier ways to deal with life. This will allow me to submerse myself into something that I love to do.
This year has been like riding a roller coaster blindfolded! My head is still spinning and I'm trying to comprehend all that this year has brought with it. I'm grateful to be ending my year healthier than I've ever been in my life and more determined than ever to continue to take life on with everything I have! So with 146 less pounds and a whole world of possibilities I leave 2010 and prepare to take on 2011!! I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful New Year!!
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This year has been like riding a roller coaster blindfolded! My head is still spinning and I'm trying to comprehend all that this year has brought with it. I'm grateful to be ending my year healthier than I've ever been in my life and more determined than ever to continue to take life on with everything I have! So with 146 less pounds and a whole world of possibilities I leave 2010 and prepare to take on 2011!! I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful New Year!!
Another Year Older!
Dec 18, 2010
I turned 29 on Thursday and it was very surreal. When asked if I dreaded getting older at first I thought I would but the opposite is the truth! I feel better and am healthier at 29 than I was at 20!! This year I have a lot to celebrate and a lot to be grateful for! The 12Th marked 8 years since my now husband showed up on my doorstep! That first birthday I spent with him, I thought would be the best ever and it was pretty awesome! This year he surprised me and recreated that First birthday we spent together! It's been a crazy 8.5 months since I had WLS and this week was full of end of the year Dr's appointments and it's so incredible to finally go to the Dr and have a good visit rather than something else being wrong and another medication added! This birthday has been such a blessing because for the first time in a really long time I've actually enjoyed my Birthday and felt good about getting older! Instead of putting on a fake smile and trying but failing to enjoy the day, I'm smiling for real and completely enjoying spending time with people and being social! I'm excited about what this next year will bring! 
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The best Thanksgiving!
Nov 25, 2010
I have so much to be thankful for today and I'm on the verge of tears because of how blessed I feel! This year has been an amazing, scary, challenging year and it's been one heck of a ride! Today I reached a milestone goal! I'm no longer 300 pounds!!
I couldn't be more thankful for that!! I'm thankful for my husband who's loved me unconditionally and stood by me through it all and who continues to support and love me like crazy! I'm thankful for life, for the chance to get to live it, for my health which continues to improve every day, for the journey that has changed me as a person and made me so much stronger and brought out who I deserve to be! For all the love and support I have in my life, all the people who surround me and lift me up and encourage me daily! For the beautiful home that I get to share with those that I love. It's easy to get caught up in the mess that is life but we need to stop, take a deep breath and remember all the little things in life that we take for granted every day! I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving!
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I couldn't be more thankful for that!! I'm thankful for my husband who's loved me unconditionally and stood by me through it all and who continues to support and love me like crazy! I'm thankful for life, for the chance to get to live it, for my health which continues to improve every day, for the journey that has changed me as a person and made me so much stronger and brought out who I deserve to be! For all the love and support I have in my life, all the people who surround me and lift me up and encourage me daily! For the beautiful home that I get to share with those that I love. It's easy to get caught up in the mess that is life but we need to stop, take a deep breath and remember all the little things in life that we take for granted every day! I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving! About Me
Tallahassee, FL
Location
31.9
BMI
Surgery
03/26/2010
Surgery Date
Sep 29, 2008
Member Since
