One year has passed!

Aug 12, 2011

Wow one year ago today I was going into surgery scared to death about what was about to happen.   When I look back at where I was a year ago i'm actually speechless.  I thought I was the "happy go lucky fat girl"   today when I think about it I was not living at all I was simply exisisting.   One year ago today I was 30 years old and 449 lbs.   I was a type II diabetic taking several medications a day to manage my blood sugars,  I was one cholesterol medication, high blood preessure had failed at home sleep study and was on my way to needing a cpap machiene.   I didn't like to go out because it was too much of a chore!  Doing anything outside my house I had to worry about how far i would have to walk, if there was room for me, if there was a chair i would fit into, could I sit in the chair or would I break it,   I had no energy to do anything.   Shopping for clothes was not fun at all because nothing fit I was in a size 36 W pant a 4x shirt or 28/30.  I remember not even wanting to take my measurements becasue I wanted to live in denial.  Oh and I had a hard time finding a before pic cause I hated the camera :)  

What a difference a year makes  :) today i weigh 253 lbs (yep 196 lbs gone forever).  I now have a A1C of 5.2 with 0 Medcations to manage it infact the only meds I have to take today are My Vitamins :)  I much more outgoing and have started to break out of my shell that my weight kept me in.  I have had the oppertunity to do so many great things I am not affraid to venture into new places in fear I won't fit :).    I have gone on hikes and signed up for 5 k walks, I do yoga and participate in dance classes.    I love to get out and exersise.   I use the pool  in my complex( average summer temp at my house 110)  which i never used before :).  I no longer drive around the parking lot over and over until i can find a close parking spot.  I now wear a size 22 or 24 pant sometimes even 20 if it streches a little.  I wear a 18/20 shirt i'm a size 2 at torrid and speaking of torrid oh my heck i have a new addiction and that is shopping i love love love it :).   Today i'm new person and I can say I am living life. 

I know i still have a ways to go the Dr. set my goal weight at 150 so i have another 100 lbs  and I'm so excited continue on my journey.   For those of you who are new, contemplating surgery, or coming up on your surgery dates i'd love to share a little bit that has helped me.

- Set small goals  and celebrate the small things! when i started and realized i had 300 lbs to lose all I could think is I will never make it!  I set small little goals for myself like lose 10 lbs, weight under 300, reach 250, etc.   I also made non scale goals like fit in a booth, fit in a 24, be able to put a seat bealt on, walk a mile with out being winded. 
- don't weigh every day!   For the first 8 months I chose only to weigh at the surgeons office and to only weight once a month.   let me tell you it helped so much.  I didn't focus on the scale.  I have noticed that since i started weighing at home it consumes me and i freak out if i gain a few ounces.
-use your support systems ,  my friends and family are great!  I love the OH message boards and even more I love my home support group!
-change your behaviors... the surgery isn't my magic key to being happy.  I needed to change the way i think, the way I do things, food isn't my comfort anymore :)
-stay positive!   the past year hasn't been rainbows and butterflies for me but I try to find the good in it all.... like when i eat and get sick i think damn i can't eat that again haha but I don't dwell are cry about the fact i get sick when i eat steak !

One year ago 449 lbs                            Me today :)

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