Marangelli O.
WARNING! THIS IS VERY LONG!!! Sorry! I have a strong need for thorough details!! : o )
I have been overweight pretty much all my life but morbidly obese for the last 4 years or so. While growing up, I had to overcome the challenges of being picked on and being made fun of because I was different - a bigger gal. I recall the awkwardness I felt because all my cousins were smaller and petite since I am the tallest and biggest girl in the family. I honestly cannot wait until I do not hold that title anymore! I have only 1 brother and he came after my twelve birthday. I succumbed to taking care of him and not dwelling on that I was bigger than everyone around me including my mom at the time. I developed quickly too which brought its own problems being that I was this 12 year old kid in a woman looking body. I rebelled and became very violent in High school which caused my mom to move to take me out of the hostile environment. I was diagnosed with Emotional Asthma at the age of 13 and have battled with it since. As I grew into my teenage years I was chubby but I was more active so I was toned and my body did not look that bad because I did not have a big belly nor fat hanging from different places. I still was not completely happy with how I looked but I was not depressed over it either. I was the studious type so my mind was not set upon looking good to attract the opposite sex. I guess you could say I was a bit naive and innocent minded which brought it’s own heartache.
During the last year of High school I had 2 attempted rapes and one successful one which almost ended in murder had God not given me wisdom to not be hysterical and talk to the perpetrator to ease him and convince him I would not say anything. He made me call his wife to insist she take him back. I think that is when I realized that he was not all together up there to have done something like that. This event caused me to go on an emotional twister. I did report it to the cops and was taken to the hospital. The detective took me to my friends house because I was terrified of coming home. An entire week passed before saying anything to my mom. My best friend actually had to go and tell my mom because I was so mortified rightly so as my mother was quite unsupportive at the time since she thought I brought it upon myself because I hung around with the “wrong crowd’ . Going through all that alone was the most difficult time of my life but it made me the strong woman I am today. Well after that incident I sorta like decided to succumb into destructive habits one of which was the over indulgence of food. I figured if I could just hide that big butt and get ugly fat that no man would do that to me ever again.
I decided to move again because my incident came out in the newspaper and everywhere I walked people would ask me stuff or say things like "oh baby I am so sorry you had to go through that". The more callous people would say that I should have not been hanging with the people I was hanging with so people did not get the wrong idea as if I actually told this stranger to do this to me and strip away my innocence, take away my virginity which I held in honor and ruin my emotional well being for quite a long time.
It took me about 4 years to actually talk about the incident again with my pastor at the time who noticed I had a problem returning hugs to the men in my life, which I did. That begun the therapy I needed and with a lot of prayer and tears I finally was loosened from all the guilt and pain I had felt for years, which made me seem as such a horrible person. At this point in my life I was well over 250 lbs. Since then, I have battled with many illnesses which I have overcome time and time again including Ovarian Cancer at the young age of 21 (the news of having it was actually my 21st birthday present).
My life started to get on track and I began to feel happy again and rejuvenated once I actually spoke about the rape. I began counseling young girls and became a youth teacher at my church which I enjoyed very much. My weight loss journey began and I attempted several things from low carb diets, slim fast, Jenny Craig, alot of exercise, diet pills like Dexatrim, Hydroxycut, Xenadrine and Metabolife during the next couple of years. As many of you know those succeeded for some time but after a while I just regained the weight lost and then some. I actually began a relationship prior to my 21st birth date but he was not man enough to stick around after I found out I had Cancer so that did not last very long.
I was beginning to think I was not made to be in a relationship and actually got depressed again thinking I was ugly or something because I could not get a man. Its funny to say that now. During that time I joined a couple of Christian bands since I have always loved singing. Not too long after that, I engaged in a long term relationship in May of 1998 which lasted almost 4 years with a great friend at the time. Unfortunately I began getting very sick again with the Asthma because I really did not know how to cope with a relationship and its hassles. This emotional rollercoaster ended up in me going into 7 cardiac respiratory arrests in October of 1999 which ultimately led to a Tracheotomy and being unable to work. I was blessed to immediately get approved for disability benefits after that. I began to gain weight profusely and became very insecure in my relationship at the time which led to a hard break-up.
In 2002 after this disheartening break-up I decided to go at the weight loss again and this time I stuck with it for 3 months I mean super disciplined. I worked out every single day and ate nothing but veggies, salads, and fish. I lost a whopping 50 lbs in 3 months. I was overjoyed and remember feeling sexy for the first time in my life. My life seemed to be blossoming and I was ecstatic. I began to seek work again and got hired by the Illinois Department of Transportation. I absolutely was on top of the world. It was a temporary assignment, but better than being home. I developed lots of business relationships at the time and was hired to work in the Attorney General’s office. I was actually happy with my weight loss and being alone and having a great job. I was actively singing with different bands and nothing could go better.
On November 9th of 2002 after a church service I went to pick up several of my little cousins to go for some food as I accustomed doing some Friday’s after service. On the way to the restaurant, my vehicle was rammed 3 times causing my car to go into a spinning frenzy. I hit the light pole at 60 mph (in the attempt of fleeing) and my car caught fire. Thank God the fire department was less than half a block away. Everything happened so quickly and what I could recall is sporadic moments like seeing and feeling the heat of the fire, the firemen telling me that they may have to amputate one of my legs on site in order to take me out and me supplicating them not to. I was air lifted after 52 minutes of the Jaws of life cutting through the scraps of my vehicle in order to derive me. After this tumultuous evening my life went into a horrifying nightmare. Its horrifying to wake up with every imaginable tube going through different places and feeling as though my time was elapsing. I remember crying uncontrollably without any comfort and my friends and family trying to reassure me. When you begin seeing people visiting you that you have not seen in many years, its only natural to think that my time was about to expire.
From all the hardships I have had to overcome in my life, this one has been the most difficult. I was out of my home for a total 7 ½ months in and out of hospitals and 5 months in a nursing home. I regained mobility in my right arm after 7 months and have been battling with my right leg since. I have had 12 surgeries to date, all to no real resolution. In the interim being wheelchair bound I have climbed the scale to an alarming 357 pounds. Goodness gracious!! Every time I say that number it just seems so freaking unbelievable but that’s the sad reality.
I met my now husband after I got home and while recovering over the internet. He is the most wonderful person I know, the kindest hearted man I have ever known. We met in June of 2003 and no matter what he has stuck by me even though his family seems to think I am a hindrance in his life. On Christmas day of 2003 I found out I was pregnant which caused a little frenzy among my team of physicians at the time being that I was under heavy meds. I was immediately told to stop all meds which I did. Mind you a week prior I had gone to a second opinion because my Ortho was suggesting amputation because of Chronic Osteomyelitis. I had this huge hole on my leg that refused to close after 3 months of IV antibiotics. Although I was terrified of having a child at this point, I was super surprised to even get pregnant after having cancer and being told I would probably never be able to bare any.
To tell ya the truth I felt soo happy because I always wanted a child. My husband already had 3 from a prior marriage and I was content on being an occasional step mom. Well a month after learning of my pregnancy that hole closed and I felt great. My child was born early because of my Ortho wanting to remove a contraption I had on my leg during pregnancy that was getting infected. I went into respiratory arrest again and they had to extract my baby who was not breathing either. My husband says that was the most terrifying time in his life although my family had seen me worst in the past so they were more hopeful than he. My daughter is a miracle all by herself but also to me as she healed my leg. She is now healthy as can be. She actually arrived 8 days before my birthday. What a beautiful present it is!!
We lived like the three musketeers for a year and a half until his 3 children came to live with us and now it’s the 6 musketeers. I have seen many doctors and none have been able to get me walking so we decided to stay in Houston to find a doctor willing to take on my case since my old doctor in Chicago had no hope to give me. I am now in that search but first decided to alleviate some load of my body by dong the WLS. I will be seeking an Ortho soon as I need to see what realistic solutions are available for me. I trust that I will walk again and getting this weight off my knees and ankle will simplify the replacements I seek.
Sorry for the long story but that is my life – a very long, hard journey. I am very eager to find a new life where I can be active again with all my kids. We have a 12 and 3 year old gals and 9 and 7 year old boys. I want to live a full and healthy life for them. They are my motivation. I want to drive my kids to places and let my hubby rest for once. So much more. I intend on keeping this updated throughout my journey. If you managed to read through this entire testament, THANK YOU and I hope my story is somehow helpful and motivating. I pray the Lord gives us all the strength we need in order to achieve all our goals.
Mari
