A late update...

Jul 21, 2012

Firstly let me apologize for how long it has taken me to follow up with an update on my situation.  I had a successful non invasive RNY on February 23rd of this year with no incident.  As a matter of fact, I did so well, I was let out a day early.  My day before surgery weigh is was at 343 from 395 that I was on March of 2011!  However when I got out of the hospital and I weighed I had gained to 349.6.  I believe that gain was related to the entire surgery swelling and natural water retention.  My weight loss has been somewhat sporadic I'd say since there are weeks that the scale sits completely still, which is quite frustrating and others where the weight seems to disappear quickly.  Weird! :/

By March 23rd I had lost almost 30 pounds and I thought I was in heaven!  But the weight loss has slowed down although my body still is still shrinking.  I didnt have much difficulty with my eating mostly I believe because I was on liquids.  As I began ingesting actual food, it has been an issue for me as I tend to puke a lot.  That is mostly contributed to my own stupidity and stubborness though which has come to some sort of control now thankfully.

I am not puking much these days but I know my protein intake is not to par.  I loooove the bariatric smoothie from Smoothie King with 45g of protein but am unable to have it everyday.  I purchased the actual powder but it doesnt come out as good as they make it! :(  lol I am silly but its true!  he he

So far I have lost a total of 74 pounds since that 349# weigh in AFTER the surgery.  I believe I would be losing more if I were more mobile, BUT I am so thankful because I have gained A LOT more mobility since the surgery.  I used to still use my motorized wheelchair at the house and now I do not use it at all.  I am mostly on the rollator which is a HUGE difference from a year ago. 

Im trying so hard to not compare myself to others as every situation is different but I honestly am struggling with that.  I was going to attend my first support group meeting and was unable to do that.  Now I have to wait another month for a gathering!  Thats why I decided to update here in hopes to obtain the support that I need.

I will be 5 months out 2 days from now and feel demotivated!  I have the ability to join the local YMCA completely free cost to me since my insurance paysr it and I still have not done it!  I feel so guilty to go ahead and join without my children since I cannot afford to pay for a membership for them. :(

My insurance has assigned me a personal case manager and she has been wonderful and instrumental in me getting out of the shell and coming here to express my current struggles.  I think I am beginning to move in the direction of going to the YMCA though because I NEED to take care of me and maximise this tool!

Why do I feel so guilty though?  I need help seriously! 

Sorry I'm writing so much.  I guess I should do this more often as it is a good way to release although there is much reluctance on my part to do it.  (BREATHE)  I know it can only get better as I get more active and mobile!  I REALLwant to get on an elliptical (my favorite machine to workout), swim in a real pool and lift some much needed weights for this flab!!

Ok so finally, I was wearing a tight 5x in shirts and 32W in past March of last year and now I am at...... (DRUM ROLL) a 2x in shirts and dresses (which I am actually wearing again!  Its been years)  lol and a size 20 in pants and sometimes some 18W!  Prior to surgery I was at a 4x in shirts and 28 in pants and it was feeling tight! 

So when I see those number, I feel good!  I am a bit unhappy about the weight loss in particular but the inches are coming off and at the end of the day I think that is way more important! 

Thanks to whoever does manage to read this!  I' try to  update sooner next time!  SMOOCHES!

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