One week on the bench!

Jun 05, 2015

So here I sit a week on the bench.  What  a week.  I had a case of the nerves right up to when I said goodbye to my husband in the day surgery unit.  I was wheeled to wait in the hallway outside the OR and sat looking out at the beautiful sunshine.   I was ready.  My OR team seemed to really get along and were chatting about a retirement party some of them were attending that night.  The surgeon was razzing one nurse for not going and I got into the banter.  I also thought it was kinda cool (and like on TV) that music was being played in the room!  I guess my surgeon has a couple of different playlists.  

After surgery, the anesthetic wiped me out for most of that day.  I would open my eyes to see my kids sitting there looking at me.  I smiled, told them I was fine and to go to the hotel because I was not going to be staying up.   I also think I didn't really think through the pain after surgery.  It is major surgery and then when I was in pain and nauseous, I was upset about it.  Did I think it was going to be a walk in the park?!?!  I was also aggravated because my elderly roommate kept ripping off her CPAP multiple times per night and was corrected (loudly!) by staff.  

I ended up staying at GGH for 2 nights and was discharged on the Sunday.  I was so happy to be heading home!  I was not particularly happy with the condition of city roads.  Every bump and crack hurt.  The highways were better but back on city roads to get home and I was wiped when I got home.  The best thing was crawling in my own bed.  

The first week has been pretty good.  No hunger.  Slowly drinking diluted juices and jellos.  Mouth hunger didn't really hit until 6 days afterwards.  The first week resulted in a 10 pound weight loss.  It shows on the scale but I don't see or feel it.

I am happy with my decision to get WLS and am looking forward to seeing some changes in my body.  I am also looking forward to a breakfast of runny oatmeal tomorrow morning!

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Opti-thoughts May 22, 2015

Jun 05, 2015

Half way through opti. It's taught me many things about my relationship with food. I never realized how much of my daily pleasure came from food. A temper tantrum on day 2 because my family was having pizza and I was not. Feeling sorry for myself and wanting to call the clinic and leave a message saying that I was calling it quits. Worked through that and finding other sources of pleasure and keeping myself busy. There are some days that I could start nibbling on the furniture but for the most part opti had been pretty good. This time next week I will be on the bench. Can't believe it.

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I survived a vacation with no weight gain!

Mar 23, 2015

So I sit here at my dining room table proud of the fact that I just spent a week in Cuba and returned with absolutely no weight gain!  The universe once again conspired to remind me of my goals with my first ever scale in a hotel room!!!!  

My system always gets funky when I travel....I don't know if it's the altitude or what, but I stop up like crazy.  I brought Restoralax in order to keep things going and I believe it helped.  Second day at home and I was right back to my pre-vacay weight.  I knew I wouldn't have access to MFP down there so I had to rely on making good choices.  Luckily there was a lovely salad bar and freshly grilled meats.  I did enjoy a few banana crepes.  But if I indulged at lunch, I followed my plan at dinner and breakfast. 

Feels good to stay in control in a situation with so many things beyond my control.  Working hard to do the right things before surgery so that I'm successful for the long haul!

 

Best part??  No seatbelt extender needed for this mamacita!

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So thankful!

Oct 19, 2014

I know Thanksgiving was last weekend, but I am finding I have more and more to be thankful for in respect to my decision to have WLS.  I am thankful for people who are going through (or have gone through it) and are sticking to the rules.  I am shocked on a daily basis of the stuff people say here or on Facebook groups that have me wondering WTH they are even going through with the surgery?!??!?!?!   It really does make me want to rip my hair out.  I truly appreciate those who have taken their decision seriously and are making good choices.  I am learning so much.  

I guess this also has a personal impact on me as I was not always a WLS supporter.  My sister dropped the bomb that she was looking into it at the end of a long day of wandering around Canada's Wonderland with the kids.  My reaction probably wasn't the best, but it was mostly out of concern.  I'd never known anyone who'd had the surgery.  How risky was it?  She had 3 kids to think about.....and on and on.  Well, she took my reaction as being unsupportive, whereas really I was just concerned and shocked!  

Fast forward a bit and my sister, an ER nurse, ended up having the surgery.  All the stuff I'm reading about---eating protein first etc.  I never saw her do!  Two months after surgery, it's Christmas and she's already drinking alcohol.  I questioned the safety of doing that and she got defensive.  Again, wanting to arm myself with information, I spent the night in bed on my ipad reading about it.  It was definitely not recommended.   Long story short,  my sister has addiction transfer to alcohol, her marriage has fallen apart and in a drunken episode, she disowned me.  It is painful.  And it had clouded my opinion of WLS.  It impacted my decision to not go through with it the first time around in Guelph.  I didn't want to become a hot mess! 

I'm back at Guelph and I am doing it this time.  I am fully committed and am finally ready to get out of my comfort zone that being overweight has given me.  I'm ready to shed my insulation and have the outside match my inside.  (I have always joked that I have reverse anorexia....I always am shocked at just how fat I am!)  The SW recommended I join a Craving Change group, which I have.  It's mostly older ladies in their 60s, but we have a riot once a month.  Lots and lots of laughs.  I have also started meeting with a psychologist to help me sort out some of my eating issues.  I don't know how much she's helping, but our conversations often lead me to new discoveries about myself and that's what it's all about.

It's a journey and I'm on the path.  And I can't wait to see what's in store.

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How does it regain so fast?

Oct 18, 2014

So my loss this week was 3.4 pounds.  I weigh in on Fridays.  Decided that yesterday I would "splurge" a little.  Measured out a bit of chips at our workplace snack day.  Then it was pizza night at home.  Had two slices and a few crazy bread sticks.  Hopped on the scale this morning and sayonara 3.4 pound loss!  WTH!!! I honestly think my body can't handle any splurges.  Talk about instantaneous negative reinforcement. 

Made a commitment to get back on track today.  Story of my life. 

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The universe is conspiring WITH me!

Oct 17, 2014

First of all, let me preface this by saying that pop is not a trigger for me but today I was wanting something sparkly to drink.  Scrounged up enough quarters for the pop machine in the staff room and selected a Coke Zero.  The  machine returned my change.  Tried again and selected diet Coke.  Nothing.  The  machine blinked NO SERVICE!  I laughed and thought OK OK I'm listening!  Filled up my cup with water instead.

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What I look forward to...

Oct 16, 2014

THINGS I WANT TO DO:
-NOT be the biggest person in a room -Run around and be active with my kids -Explore stores I have never EVER shopped in. There are so many!! -Cross legs comfortably -Sit in EVERY chair comfortably -Fit in airplane seat belts -Fit on rides without worry -Not bump into things (through a restaurant, tight spaces etc.) -Weigh less than my husband -Zipline! -Wear a skirt with knee high boots -WEAR JEANS!! -Walk up a flight of stairs without having to stop to catch my breath -Wear jeans (have I mentioned that?  No elastic waist either!)-Wear a two piece (wow think that will ever happen?)

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