Just GRRRRRR!!!!

Mar 27, 2009

 While today i thought i would write down how i feel. I haven't started a blog yet about my weight lost. Then i thought do i have to blog about the weight loss or can i just blog about my daily life. So this is going to be a mixture of everything. 
Today well this whole week has been a bad week.. I feel like this week has been the week to test my faith with this lovely tool i was given.  i'm an emotional eater like most, and this week WOW was it a tough.
Ok it wall started well way back in Jan, shortly after i had my surgery. The unknown of yes my husband is deploying again. 
He just came home from a 14 months tour in Iraq, on Nov4th. Now we are facing a 16 months tour in Afgainistain. I clearly knew this was a possiblity before he even got home in Nov. Yet all the way up until the start of March it was a yes he is going no he will not. oh yes the unit needs him no we don't. Well this week and next week he will be training for the deployment, so yes he is going is the finally the answer. When we are still not sure, so it has been very hard to prepare for this deployment. 
So all week long i have been testing my pouch, and i feel horrible about it.. i'm not sure why i've been eating complete SHIT for my pouch. In my mind i know better, yet i did anyways. I didn't get sick and i didn't dump.. So now i feel like a cow again... 
I dont know why i can't get over the emotional eating part. or why can't i grab something good for me to comfort myself with. I go to the gym and run on the treadmil to make myself say its ok i just burned off all that crap i just ate, yet its not ok.. 
On top of the emotional eating i have the STRESS that deployments bring, Everything seems to be falling apart right now, 
so yeah i just wanted to say GRRRR to this week and hope its over with soon, so i can start clean and fresh next week. Yet i can't because my husband will be training. So yippy.

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