Maggie B.

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Have moved back to my hometown of Kansas City.  Well actually we are in the burbs of Johnson County Ks now.  We moved the first week in April,  yes in the middle of the school year. It was time to leave Philadelphia. Thanks for the memories Philly, we got to see the Phillies, the Jersey shore, had some water ice and great soft pretzels but it was time to return to our homeland of barbeque and American League baseball. 

I love Kansas City.  

Am now back at my old hospital: The Childrens Mercy Hospital. Great place, great people. Like coming home. I've missed everyone.

My self: is fine. Had a few complications in the last 8 months. Back in October had the emergent incarcerated hernia repair. No fun. But fine now.
Then had to have the gall bladder out end of February. No fun but it's all done.  Proceeded to have a garage sale the weekend after I had it done. Bad idea. I paid in spades for that ridiculousness.  So much pain. But had to do it. We had to move. 

Spare ya that story. Not for public knowledge. Let's just say again: IT"S GOOD TO BE HOME!

I feel great. Staying the course at 165-170lbs. I don't eat much. Am a VERY cheap date. Have discovered Isagenix, a wonderful supplement that makes me feel great, has good protein in it and lots of all the vites I need to stay healthy. Have to find a new bypass doc. I think that will be Dr Price at St Lukes but haven't made a date with him just yet, need to though. Our insurance doesn't kick in for a few more weeks.  

Also now trying to sell Avon. I don't have a natural sales type personality but I like the company and the skin care line is great.  Will give it a go.  I need new pics...erg. I hate trying to fit new pics in that avatar box. We have a new webcam, maybe I can do it with that....will try tonight.

Well, didn't know if I would make it to work this morning.  Seeing as the toilet called me from 4am-5am this morning.

I couldn't figure out why. One of my new year's resolutions was to get my bowels more regular, so I started taking a probiotic.  I started these teeny tiny acidophilus pearls. I took one yesterday morning with all my vitamins as well.  Seemed harmless enough.

But I didn't feel well all day yesterday. I felt tired, and then in the evening achey, and chillish and just icky, and had a headache.  We went to Applebees for dinner and I could only eat the french onion soup. Ordered the veggie patch pizza and only ate a small bite of it. It was rich and oily and I just felt gross, and well, sickly, like a cold coming on.  I have been monumentally cold most of this winter.  I wear a turtleneck and 2 sweaters and did this at dinner last night, had some soup and we came home.  Still cold all night. Sleep in sweats and long pants and socks. 

Then at 4am it hit me. I had to go. I'll spare details but I flushed alot of times. Not pleasant. It got to be close to 5am and my alarm goes off at 545am, if the feeling of having to go didn't pass I was going to have to call out sick.  But I finally made it back under my thick comforter and drifted back to sleep, with snoring husband blissfully unaware.  I almost woke him to get the phone so I could call out. 

I woke up late, got dressed and still feel achey and chillish. But I'm here.

I can't tell if it's the acidophilus or the smelly neon green pullups I have been changing on Clare this week.  

But life with an RNY goes on.  I have made a concerted effort to take my vitamins every day. Plus I am now Vit D deficient so I take Vit D once a week for a 12 week period.  I hit my low of 170lbs a few weeks ago and gained about 7 lbs over the holidays. This am I was 175 on the scale so I am trying to really get my protein in and chart my intake on the daily plate- a site I love but have a hard time remembering to get to.  I think I undereat my calories on a daily basis.  If the weather would cooperate I would walk more but it's so freaking cold I just can't. But we do have  Wii now and I am trying to do it more.
And I have been bitten by the Facebook bug so I have to get off of that and get up on my feet more often.

Back to the phones. Will blog tomorrow.

I am alive. But I'm blue. It's January and that means James gets back on the road and that makes me sad.  He is in a job he doesn't want to do anymore. It takes him away from us for too long and it doesn't pay well.  It's demanding and he is not well supported by his partner/boss.

I was wondering why I was sad and snacking so much lately and then I realized it. It's January and he is getting back on the road. I hate it. The year starts off with him leaving for IReland for 2 weeks. It's cold here and I don't have 110lbs of fat on me like I used to and I am constantly cold. I turn on the oven and the heat and the space heaters and then I am warm. for a little while.  I must not be getting all my protein in b/c I am tired too.

I just have to get through these few weeks and then we can really start to get ready to sell our house and move back to Kansas City. That's our goal this year, to move out of Philly, finally. Or Phinally.

The holidays were great. I feel amazing. I hate to overstate it but I do. This was the first year I felt really great and well, free.  I totally over ate too. Overtested my limits. I dumped more times than I care to count. It's like I forgot I had this surgery.  Cookies, ice cream, chocolate, chips, yuck, So much junk.  My boss bought a cake for us for New Years and you think I would learn that FROSTING is enemy #1.  I mean MAJOR trigger food for me.  I had a sliver (and I mean a sliver) of it and ate the frosting and made the major mistake of drinking afterwards (thereby flushing it right into my small intestine, causing the sugar rush, causing the dumping event- AT WORK) while speaking with parents, there I am: swirling in nausea, hot flashes, racing heart rate and all. I thought I would puke.  I had to go lie on the floor for 20 minutes to help it pass and it always does, but not after true unpleasantness. My friend Barb asked me (in a very perplexed and worried tone) "Does it hurt?"  No- I said, it's just really unpleasant, but it will pass. Just let me lie here on my left side on this dirty floor with my sweater over my head so the fluorescent light above me doesn't blind me and I'll be fine.

And I was.

Back to the phones I went.  NO MORE FROSTING< EVER.

So that begs the question: If I know I'm going to dump, why do I eat this shit?  Why why why?  I am so perplexed. You think I would learn but I haven't.  So my resolution is to try to practice mindful eating this year.  (and to do a better job of recycling) 

I have a headache now and a son trying to get on the computer so I will go but will try to blog more this year. I need to, at my lowest I have been 170. After the holidays I am up to 177! Yikes!

Happy New Year guys!  If someone could help me crop my pics so I could post a new avie I would SO appreciate it.

Haven't posted in a while. So long that I had no idea OH had changed it's site. Kinda cool. More contemporary. I like it. Still finding my way around.  If they could just make putting an avatar up a little easier I'd be thrilled.

Well this week was amazing. I hit 170lbs.  That means about 115lbs of weight loss for me in 13 months. Whoa. When I write it it seems amazing.  I took some pics of me this week at my son's Christmas program and couldn't believe what I saw. I am thin. People at work cannot believe how I look. They keep asking me if I am still losing.  I haven't FELT this good in over 15 years.  I finally feel in control of my body and my food choices. It's such a blessing.

We are going through a lot of stress, family, financial and other.  Don't need to go into details but considering all the stress I am under I find myself quite happy. I couldn't really put my finger on why. Then it hit me. This is the first Christmas where I have felt good physically and can really keep up with life and my kids. My house is still a mess but I can keep going day to day. I am not wracked with pain, I can breathe.  I have energy. I am not consumed by my cravings or compulsion to eat. That's why I'm so happy.  I have my body back.

Now with that realization and the contentment that I feel with my new body is the very real fear that it might come back. Cuz, it always did in the past. There are things I could be doing better, including more exercise.  Whenever I do walk, I lose. It's pretty cool.  But it's a challenge with a 3 yr old in tow every day.  But I do make an effort and hubby is really supportive.  I have good habits, but the sugar demons are around all the time.  I need to eat more fruits and veggies. I need to slow down a lot still. But overall this surgery has been a major gift to myself. I am so happy I did it. 

Merry Christmas everyone.  If you are reading this and want to ask me anything about the surgery feel free to email me.

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy first new Maggie birthday dear Maggie.....
Happy Birthday to me...

Ok, drum roll please.  Today is November 12, 2008. One year ago today I had gastric bypass done at Temple Univ. Hospital by the wonderfully gifted surgeon Dr John Meilahn.

As of today I have lost 106lbs.
Please God, let them be gone forever....
I love the new me.  I would love to lose another 30lbs and then have the plastic surgeon remove another 10-15lbs of skin...but that will have to wait.

I can now officially:

Walk up the stairs without losing my breath
Wear my wedding ring (it's actually loose!)
Fit into size 16 pants (14s are around the corner!)
Breathe easily
Cross my legs
Touch my toes
Clean my house
Wear a bathing suit without disgust

I am so glad I did this for me.
I've said it before I'll say it again: Yay for me.

Well, there I was, 100lbs gone and cruising along. Taking care of myself and my family like I hadn't in years. I can move, I can breathe. I have no pain. I am feeling great.

Then the abdominal pain hit me.  3 weeks ago tomorrow it started.
I had some weird abdominal sensation, it felt like an air bubble under my belly button.  It wouldn't go away. I was at work and it just kinda bothered me.  I went home and went to bed late.  I thought it was just the stomach virus.

Then the next morning the pain got worse. Weird worse. It came in rolling waves and wouldn't stop. I was crying out. James was getting ready to go to NYC but saw me writhing on the bed and said "Maybe you should call the doctor."  I knew he was right.

So I called Dr Meilahn, my bypass surgeon.  He had just seen me the week before and diagnosed me with gallstones and had set up my surgery for a few weeks from now.

"Dr Meilahn, I am having some wierd abdominal pain."

Where is it?

It's on the left, low and to the left of my belly button, it's coming in waves and it's getting worse.  It started last night.

Hm mm. - It's not the same as your gallbladder?

No, it's in a completely different place - then I cry out in pain.

It's that bad huh?

Yes, it's bad.

Ok, let's bring you in to the hospital. 

Where do you want me to go? The ER?

-Long pause-
No, why don't you go to Admissions and we'll direct admit you.
Then I'm going to take you to the OR this afternoon.

Really? OK.
I knew what it was.

I had an incarcerated abdominal hernia. My roux limb had herniated and that was causing the pain.

I was in the OR by 4pm that day and stayed for 2 days. He opened my belly and boy did it hurt.  I did not enjoy this stay at all.

I am ok now. The worst of it is over. My incision is still sore but I'm fine.
I did get a nice case of diarrhea and a cold during my recovery which made me feel like 10 miles of bad road.  But I am now back at work and doing fine. 

Now I still have my gallbladder surgery to look forward to! No thanks. Just say no to more surgery!

Nine months ago today I had a laparoscopic RNY done at Temple University Hospital.

As of today, August 12, 2008 I have lost 100lbs baby!

I started at 285 lbs.
Today I weigh 184lbs!

Where's my Century Club card?

I am so happy and feel so amazing I want the whole world to know it.
When I figure out how to do it I am gonna post a before and after pic of me. 

Yay me!

I have to start walking more.

According to Dr Martin, my beloved PCP, he wants me down to 135lbs as my goal.  HAH.

I do too but I also want my boobs back where they belong and to be financially independent.

But I think I can do it this time. I have to start changing my assumptions and old beliefs about my body.  Case in point: I have never weighed 135lbs for long and certainly not since I was probably about 15 if that.  Geez, I think the last weight I remember in high school was 155.  Man, 135lbs.  Maybe if I could get to 150 then a plastic surgeon could take off that last 15lbs in my belly.  God knows it looks like 15lbs to me right now.

James told me last night he realized why  we both had to keep adjusting the van drivers seat.  Lately when I get in my 2000 Dodge Grand Caravan I have to move the seat waaaaay up closer to the steering wheel.  I never used to have to do this. It used to be we were the same height.  He and I could leave the seat in the same position.
But not lately.
Lately I have been having to pull it way up to get it to where I can drive.
I could not figure it out at all until he told me last night.

"You've lost a lot of weight- that's why you can move it up more."
Geez, you think I would have figured that out but no, didn't even dawn on me.
So that was cool I guess.

Other cool things:
I bought a size 14 (!!) halter top at Dicks Sporting goods in KC - it's a swim top and it fits!  I look great in it.
My size 18 Fashion Bug pants are too big
My size 42DD bras are too big (I think I am down to a 40DD but I need to remeasure)
My wedding ring is slipping off both ring fingers
I still cannot eat much at one sitting.  Just had some bread for the first time in months and that was painful. No more.

I love my RNY. Really, so glad I did this for me.  I am waiting for the ball of doom to drop. But it hasn't yet so I go on living my new life. Yay for me.

So how about my pics over there. Wait a minute. I'll give you a second to check me out....keep going, there are more. Go and check out my album you'll see even better ones.

Everyone thought I looked great and I felt great that night too. Man, I was excited to see all my old friends.

That's nearly 100lbs gone eight months out.

I rock. I admit it.  I finally feel like the old me again. Even my aunt Pat said it when she saw me in KC last week. 

We had the best time in KC. Moving back for sure now next spring. James is so excited. He had such a blast at his 40th bday party where those pics were mostly taken. That and my dad's back yard pool. 

I have officially lost 98lbs. Now for these last 2lbs and I will really gloat.

Go ahead. Admire me.

Thanks. I needed that. 

I never really know what to write in this blog anymore. So I'll try this today.

Oh, saw Dr M and Laurie this week. My 6 month visit a month late.  Got some labs drawn and took the kids with me since I was sans husband. 
They both thought I looked great.  Laurie made sure I was taking my supplements. I confessed I am having trouble getting my last 2 calcium tabs of the day in.  She reiterated that osteoporosis is my biggest threat lurking in the future so I heard that.  Now I'm getting better about it.  Will get a bone scan at my next gyn visit.  

This is how I eat now:

Breakfast: Luna bar and coffee

Lunch:  Tuna salad with egg, no bread, chips or crackers, maybe some fruit.

Snack:  Protein shake (I like WW protein, Frosty Chocolate on ice)

Dinner: a very small version of whatever I am making for family. 

I do graze too.  Fruit, crackers, the occasional tiny tootsie roll if I have a chocolate craving.  I don't really crave chocolate anymore. I love salty stuff now.  I am almost never hungry.  I do have some hungrier days than others.  There are days when I can eat more than others too.  LIke a hamburger sounds really good, but I make it then can only eat 3-4 bites. And when I am full I am DONE.  I have to put my plate away out of sight done.  I do have to do better with adding more fruit to my diet.   If I don't get it in b/t meals I won't eat it at all. 

More later. At work now.
Today: wt: 190lbs   Size 18 on the bottom,  size 14 on the top. 

Yea me.