mdston2
Welcome to me
Nov 02, 2007
Well, here it goes.........my first blog. I'm not sure what to write, but I feel like I need to vent. I just started my WLS journey this past summer. I just became fed up with myself and felt like I needed a change, a permanent change. I had lost about 35-40 last summer and felt really good, but as always, i've gained it back and then some. I look at myself in disgust and I can't take it anymore so I started looking into WLS. My initial journey began with the lap band. I wanted something that worked, but could be reversed if complications arose. The more research I did, the more the lapband seemed unappealing. The thought of having to constantly get "fills" and to have a foreign object embedded inside me wasn't comforting. My ultimate deciding factor was because most of the posts that I read were people that ended up needing a revision down the road. That is what lead me to OH!!!!! I'm so glad I found this site because I have learned sooooo much from people on here. I've read the good and the bad and have cried a few times reading people's posts.
So here I am, four months into my journey and my surgery date is Nov. 19, 2007. I'm not even excited. I should be, I know some people wait months or years for their insurance approval and I got mine in less than a week. I am NOT looking forward to this surgery and even thought about backing out and waiting awhile. I feel selfish for that. I just think about people that have surgeries to save their life because they had no choice and I'm ELECTING to have surgery, how crazy is that?? It's so scary because you will either come out ok, or have lots of complications and I'm scared. So what should I do?? I don't have anyone to talk to about this.....
I'm having surgery for ME. I feel like crap and something has to change. I am 253lbs and I'm 5'7" tall. I wear a tight size 20 and I have a pretty face. All of my weight is in my mid-section, I look like a football player. I have little arms and legs and a big stomach and back. My doc says it is from me being insulin resistant. I wonder how surgery will change my shape? I am definitely an apple shape and I wonder if I will become proportionate and actually have feminine curves? Or, will everything gets smaller, but my stomach will still be bigger than the rest? I hope not. Clothes don't fit right and I want to feel sexy. So many thought are going through my head and I'm glad to have this place to express them.
