MeaganJo

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 You are darn right it is real!!! I myself am suffering with it myself thus why I have disappeared from the weight-loss community. So here it goes...

Last July I started realizing that I was developing a problem with alcohol so would only go out a couple times a month and then it started becoming weekly then back to 2 times a month until I got tired of not remembering the night and everyone enjoying the embarassment I felt when they would tell me about it, so New Years Eve was the last time I went out to a bar.

I then started drinking wine at home just so I wouldn't humiliate myself out in public I never drank at home before this unless we were throwing a big party which was only 2 times a year. But once I realized it killed the boringness of sitting at home alone after my son went to bed it became a major problem, I was enjoying the feeling and the taste all too much but I was so sick of being alone at night while my husband was at work... There was always an excuse to go get wine or get someone to go get me wine. And then the weekend would come and my husband and I would drink at night at home since we were going out to the bar. But then he realized that I was drinking more and more all week long and then if there was alcohol in the house the next morning I would start drinking it again and spend my day drunk and then sleeping it away. I reminded myself of my mom who died at the age of 36 from alcoholism. I being 36 myself started dwelling on this fact and for some reason spent the first part of March mourning my mothers death month and drinking.

Last week I had decided I was not going to drink again I made it 2 days then a fellow WLS friend called me wanting me to meet her down the street for a glass of wine and talk. I went and the next thing I know her and I have gone through 1 large bottle of wine to smaller bottles and 3 Mikes hard cranberry and blueberry lemonades. I will never forget the look on her husbands face when I greeted him at my door late that evening. I dwelled on it for the rest of the night and went and got another bottle of wine which I don't remember drinking and woke up to my husband coming home worried sick and telling me I almost burned down our house. I had left soup cooking on the stove all night and lets just say it was crispy. He got me to bed and held me all morning telling me how much he loved me.

When I finally woke up from my stupor I immediately called my sister and explained to her what I had been doing and for how long. We cried and I asked her for help. We talked for hours while I waited for my husband to get up. When he did I sat down with him immediately started crying announced that I had a major problem and that I wanted to quit and I wanted to quit now and that I needed help doing it. So we devised a plan and that is for me to come out about my problem, create a very strong support system amoungst our friends and family and the WLS community and if it takes AA or counselling I will do it and he will be by my side all the way. You see he was already going to have the talk with me but I beat him to it.

So I wrote this letter to very select friends and family which consisted of 24 people. And here it is...

Facing the fact that I have a huge problem is only the beginning so I sit here and write to you and select other friends and family a battle plan and ask for your help and support. So here it is... Please do not enable my drinking. I cannot handle alcohol of any kind. I don't care if I beg you, just tell me that because you love me you cannot and will not get me alcohol or a ride to get me alcohol. And please do not drink in front of me at least for awhile. I will not be going to any bars because I know that I will drink. I apologize to anyone I may have hurt over the years with my drinking. I recognize now that I was not just a person out having a good time I was someone that had a problem and was blind to it. I started recognizing that I had a problem this last summer and thought I had everyone fooled, I myself was the only fool. Over the past few months this problem has only gotten worse and I am scaring myself and the reality is, is that I need to come out about my issue and face it head on. I've sat down with my husband and spoke to him about my problem and he is willing to battle this dreadful beast called alcoholism by my side.

If you feel that you cannot be supportive then unfortunately I cannot have you in my life. If you fully support me then welcome aboard and thank you!

I think this was quite possibly one of the hardest letters I have written in my life... Now to actually hit the send button!!! I can do this... Click send!!!

Sincerely,

Meagan 

The response I got was amazing and beautiful, just knowing that they are all willing to stand by my side completely humbles me. Today was day 3 of sobriety and I am still going strong!

If you know someone going through this be there to help them and if you yourself are going through this be strong and get the help that you need to fight it.

Well Friday afternoon around 12:30 I was eating toast with peanut butter and all of a sudden I started getting real bad pain on the upper right hand side of my abdomen, then the pain started spreading through out my abdomen. My husband and I both thought that it might be just really bad gas but I wasn't getting bloated and wasn't passing any. The pain was getting so bad that it made me feel extremely nauseated and so we thought it might be my gallbladder going caput so I called my dr's office around 7pm and they wanted to call me an ambulance but I told them I had a ride and so we went to Sacred Heart Hospital where I sat in the emergency room for 2 + hours because everyone was thinking it was just my gallbladder... So when I finally got called back and they discovered that I was having pain all over my stomach and I was nauseated they opted to do a catscan instead of an ultrasound and discovered that I had an internal hernia and obstruction. They called my surgeon for my gastric bypass since he was the Dr. oncall at the time explained what was going on with me and the call happened to drop when they tried calling him back they couldn't get a hold of him again so they admitted me into the hospital and said I would be going into surgery to have it repaired some time later on Saturday what they didn't know was that Dr. Bright had hung up on them called the OR scheduled my surgery for 4 or 430 am and rushed to the hospital. So Tim and I are just getting comfy enough in my room to doze off when at 4 a nurse rushed into my room with transport telling me that Dr. Bright was performing surgery now! Thank goodness he did because my intestines were lodged under a band of scar tissue from a prior surgery and were twisting and folding in on themselves. Luckily he got in there in time because there was no tissue death yet and they didn't have to remove any of my intestines or worse. If I had waited any longer to be seen then I would have been in big big trouble. I was released yesterday just in time for Julianne's and Jen's high school graduation!!!

Yep that's right you read the title correctly! I'm in Freaking Onederland!!! 199.2 lbs!!!!

I started my weightloss journey January 3, 2010 weighing in at a whopping 360 lbs and 34 years of age. When I saw the scale read 360 lbs I knew it was time to change my life or I was going to die and die young. I felt like I was going to die every step hurt, I could barely breathe and I had several co-morbidities.

I started eating healthy portions and healthier foods and I started going to water aerobics 3 to 5 days a week. Before I knew it I was losing the weight and I started feeling better every day. I did however still decide to go on with the WLS on July 19th 2010 to help keep me on track...

By July 19th I weighed in at 299 lbs I had reached my first goal and oh what a feeling knowing that I was no longer in the 300's! What a present to recieve on the day of my surgery. I have to admit that the days after my surgery were very painful but I still walked the hospital halls every hour trying to get out the gas! A week after surgery I developed gastritis and thought I had done something wrong... The heart burn was unbareable!!! Found out that it was from drinking Crystal light and a few days after I stopped drinking it, it went away and haven't had a problem since!

This surgery hasn't been a cake walk and I have had plenty of stahls but I would never change what I did! Easy way out my ass! I have to make healthy choices when I eat, make sure I get all my protein, vitamins and water in on a daily basis and exercise like a mad woman! I have tons of skin hanging every where but you know what I will take that over all the weight I could still be carrying today if I hadn't made the decision to live.

I just wanted to wish everyone and their families a very Merry Christmas!!!

The best present I got this year was my surgery, I'm living life again and can't wait to live it some more!!!

Below you will find what I did for several months before surgery to lose weight before I ever saw a nutritionist. If you are working with a nutritionist do as they tell you!

I originally wrote this letter to help someone desperate for help and have now 4 times changed parts in it as things come to me. I have decided to keep this letter to help all of those in need.

The best form of exercise for a morbidly obese person really is water aerobics, I mean let's face it, does our hips, knees, ankles and feet hurt to walk? So if you can join a class or watch youtube vids on it and go to the lake or river and get yourself a good ole work out. I was going 3 days a week for about 4 months prior to surgery and only started up again today because of surgery. It is one of the best non-painful workouts and for the most part you don't even realize how well you just worked your entire body without breaking a sweat lol.

If you follow the rules below you will for sure start dropping weight before your surgery and it will even help you after surgery minus the serving sizes and remember we are trying to save our lives and learn to eat to live not live to eat and no this lifestyle is not a diet it is eating proper portions!!! I wish someone would have done this for me a long time ago the sad thing is, is that all this information is locked away in my own head and for years I couldn't help myself until I was instilled with a little hope of possibly getting this surgery, but really I had to want to help myself first...

Apr 2009 I quit smoking not a puff since!

December 2010 Stopped drinking pop of any kind no diet, not even sparkling water no carbonation at all!!!

Jan 2010 we put our foot down and started eating healthy! We banned all these items from our home for good = high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated oils, white sugar, deli sandwhich meat and ham, 2% and higher milk except for the kids, potato and corn chips, fast carbs(ie white rice, white bread, pasta, sugar, etc...), fast food, crap snacks (100 calorie packs, kid yogurt) ;^) store bought bread, canned fruits in syrups, pizza unless we made our own homemade crust, hamburger, fried anything, pop, frozen dinners of any kind. There is probably more but can't think of them at this time.

We chose to eat slow carbs like whole wheat pasta, whole wheat or whole grain bread mostly homemade, brown rice and oatmeal. If you can bake the bread yourself then do get those stinking preservatives outta here (that is what we had started doing, at this time however bread is banned from my diet...) always read the package and never eat more than the suggested amount of anything and if it is bread never more than 1 piece not even for a sandwhich! However Oroweat makes sandwhich thins and that can be used in place of 2 pieces of bread. In the end however we opted to not eat any kind of pasta and switch to a veggie such as cauliflower, brocolli or zucchini instead. I suggest this more filling alternative to everyone plus look at the measurements 1 cup of loosely packed pasta versus 1 packed cup of steamed cauliflower without butter or margerine. Which one is going to be more filling? The veggie is! So I think I will eat the veggie toss the starchy fattening pasta and wow what do you know that veggie added so much more flavor to the sauce, wow what a difference!

We stopped eating hamburger altogether in its place we ate no more than 4 ounces of lean ground turkey!
We only ate a 4 to 6 ounce steak once a month as a very special treat.
Most of the time we ate 4 ounces of skinless chicken (it didn't matter what part of the bird to me) and always baked, boiled or grilled it, we never fried anything nor did we add breading to any of our meats!
I grilled 4 ounces of fish and other seafoods . I BBQ all fish and seafood since my husband hates fish and its smell but for some reason loves tuna...

Veggies are free if not buttered and if the veggie is non starchy (starchy no no's carrots, potatoes, yellow squash, corn) But I did allow a potato once a week with smart balance butter, sea salt and cracked pepper you can also add plain greek yogurt instead of sour cream. (less fattening)

You can eat as much salad as you want but there are rules you only get the 1 or 2 tbls of dressing one time not every time so try to learn to dip your fork just a little in the dressing that you already measured out then stab your bite of salad. Also for it to be a free item you can't have more than that one helping of cheese or meat or olives etc... The free only applies to the lettuce and veggies! And do try to have a veggie filled salad with lunch and dinner.

Healthy snacks consist of fruits preferably berries, veggies, a handful of nuts or non candy added trail mix it can be sweetened with honey no sugar or high fructose corn syrup, sugar free jello, sugar free pudding, sugar free popsicles.

Portion control is key to everything you eat! So be sure to get a food scale nothing fancy shmancy, measuring cups and spoons. Never eat off of a big plate! Your 4 ounces of lean meat or main course whatever and half cup of steamed veggie should fit on a DVD put your salad in a salad bowl or cereal bowl.

Surf the internet and look up how to Read and understand your food labels!
Count your calories and don't eat things high in fat, sugar or crap and don't go to fast food restaurants! However do have a cheat once a week or preferrably every other week but keep control of the portion of whatever it is you are cheating with that way you don't binge.

Another thing stop eating 2 to 3 hours before bed and make sure to eat 4 small meals a day...

By taking on a new healthy lifestyle such as exercise and proper eating habits you are proving not only to yourself, family and friends but to your surgeon and nutritionist that you are serious about this surgery and that you are truelly ready for this lifetime of healthier choices!

I wish you the best of luck in your journey and I hope you use this information to its and your fullest potential!

~meg~
 

Well my last day is finally here in 11.5 hours I will be checking into the hospital and my RNY surgery will be at 730am. Am I really at this point, it feels so unreal, I fought so hard for this and now I really don't know what I want. I honestly don't know if I am more excited or scared or vice versa. This is so crazy!

I am currently doing some last minute cleaning, charging batteries, packing, preping my face with a mud mask and hello my blog...
 

I just had the best weekend ever, there really is nothing like having a complete campground, cabin and a private beach to yourselves! OMG Awesome!

Just writing to say wooohooo 3 days left, I sign in at 5 am at Providence Sacred Heart Hospital and surgery time is at 730 am on Monday morning!

Heading out in a couple minutes to get one last camping trip in with my nasty protein drinks! Sunday I start clear liquids only which in all honesty I can't wait for because I am so tired of the sweet protein drinks woot for broth and juice!!!!

I am sorry I won't be here to thank anyone that responds to my post so I will do it now!


THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

I am convinced this pre-op diet is killing me. I am battling some major head hunger. All I can think about is food and its tastes and textures! I was thrilled yesterday when I juiced 3 sticks of celery, 1/4 of a beet added some onion salt and pepper then heated it up. You would have thought it was the most delicious thing on earth! I can't make food for my family otherwise I take a bite, chew it up then spit it out. I am sure you still get calories from it because I haven't lost any weight. That's right I am stuck at 309. But I also know that I am not getting in enough calories. I am hitting somewhere in the 700's when I need to be between 800 and 1000. I am sooooo sick of sweet protein drinks! We need to start making sugar free jello's that taste like real food without the calories, fats or carbs! I also need to find a tasteless protein powder that I can add to broth. NO MORE SWEETS!!! I was not a big sweets fan in the first place and now having it 5 to 6 meals out of my day ugh! Although I did come up with a real good smoothie tasting protein drink, but you can only have so many in a day! Another thing about this diet that is driving me nuts, I can't go, well you know... Yes I am taking my Benefiber and still nada and I swear it is part of my stall! I am ready to take a laxative.

I can't wait until my therapy appointment, but don't know if I'll be able to make it since we put all our money into this surgery so we are very behind on our bills. My brother in-law is probably going to be pissed when he gets here... We make his house payment and are a month behind. I feel guilty for wanting to take care of myself first for once and I keep wondering if I should just stop this whole thing and get caught up on the bills instead. I know my husband is stressed out but he to wants me healthy again. I think I am going to ask him again if we should go through with this and give him the option to back out... But will I if he does? I know our medical savings account will pay us back $1200 but when is the question... 

OK, OK so I have some major grammatical errors rather than my normally minimal mistakes, but I am rambling to get everything out so don't stress yourself out correcting it because I already know...LOL Ok so I couldn't help myself with the emiticon!

20 oz cup of crushed ice
Use a Blender/bullet to mix the ingredients below
8 oz of pomegranate Crystal light already made
1/4 tsp banana extract
1/4 tsp orange extract
1 rounded scoop of 100% Whey vanilla protein powder
You can also add your Benefiber to the ingredients if you want, I do!
Pour mix into 20oz cup and enjoy!

This meal plan is a combination of protein drinks and food for four weeks before your surgery. The purpose of this diet is to help reduce the size of your liver prior to surgery. This allows the surgeon to better visualize your gastrointestinal anatomy and access it with greater ease. You will see a resulting weight loss on the scale as well. Adherence to this diet will bee evaluated at the two week pre-op dietary appointment and can affect your surgery date.

There are two steps to this diet. The first step will involve some food choices and mostly liquids; the second step will be a more traditional pre-operative diet.

Step 1 (weeks 1-2)

You will consume 3-4 protein drinks each day along with one meal. Breakfast and dinner will be replaced with a protein drink. Lunch will consist of a good quality protein and 1-2 servings of a low starch vegetable. One to two snacks consisting of another protein drink or sugar free Jell-O and sugar free Popsicles can also be utilized to help with hunger. This step will last for 2 weeks.

Step 2 (weeks 3-4)

You will consume 5-6 protein drinks each day. No food is to be consumed. The determination of how many drinks will depend on hunger and calorie levels in each drink. This step will be the final two weeks before surgery. However the day before surgery you are only allowed clear liquids, no protein drinks and you must stop drinking the liquids before midnight.

Guidelines

Calories
Approximately 1000 calories a day (range: 800-1200 depending on gender and BMI)

Protein
70-100 grams of protein a day (dependent on gender and BMI)

Protein Drinks
Ready to drink or powdered protein mixes reconstituted with water. Your choices should consist of 15 grams or less of carbohydrate, 9 grams or less of fat, and 15 grams or more of protein per serving. Read nutrition facts labels. See the protein supplement hand out for popular choices. You can use sugar-free flavorings to modify the taste of these powders such as crystal light, sfree kool-aid, baking extract flavors, or sfree syrups used for coffee drinks. Occasionally you can add small amounts of milk, yogurt or fruit if the total carbohydrate level is still acceptable.

Food
Patients are allowed one small portion controlled meal a day. The meal should fit on a DVD/CD sized plate. Food choices are limited to a low-fat protein source, non starchy veggie and a small amount of cheese. All sauces and dressings should be dairy-free, low fat and portioned.

Snacks
Sugar free gelatin and sugar free Popsicles are free foods and can be consumed as necessary to aid in controlling between meal snacking. Please be aware of the calorie content that may add up with excessive use of these snacks.

Vitamins
Take a daily multivitamin/mineral supplement. Starting the same vitamin you plan to take after surgery now can help form the habit.

Fluids
Drink 8-10 cups of water or sugar free, caffeine free, non- carbonated beverages.

No alcoholic beverages
They are high in calories and affect your liver.

Exercise
Continue as recommended by your doctor.

Lactose intolerance
Try lactaid tablets or dairy ease tablets or drink whey protein isolate or soy powders mixed with water

Protein restrictions
If you have a medical condition that requires specific protein requirements please advise the dietitian during your appointment.

Portion control

One serving of protein
3 ounces cooked weight is considered to be a serving. A good visual guideline is a deck of cards or the palm of your hand. Please choose lower fat options such as chicken breast, pork tenderloin, 90% ground beef, fat-free and lean deli meats, fish and shellfish, egg whites  or egg beaters.

One serving of vegetable
1/2 cup of fresh or cooked vegetable or 1 cup of leafy greens. Please avoid potatoes, corn, peas, yellow squash and iceberg lettuce as they have higher starch contents or too little nutritional value. The more colorful the choice, the better the nutrition. You will likely be able to have 1-2 servings at your meal. Lettuce and salad are unlimited at mealtime.

Three weeks from this morning I will be  getting my RNY! I have definitely noticed the emotional roller coaster of this journey prior to surgery. One minute I am excited about the whole thing ranging from possibly not being in pain anymore to people not starring at me when I walk in to a store. Then I start thinking what if I don't make it through the surgery or I have a complication or wake up to find out I am stuck being fat for the rest of my life because they couldn't do the surgery... There was a couple of days there that I contemplated backing out of the surgery but realized we all die and if I remain morbidly obese it will come all to soon anyway, right... Needless to say I am scared shit-less especially now that I only have 3 weeks left. Here I go again... I mean if these were my last three weeks here I better enjoy them huh and make them very memorable for my kids and hubby... I can't believe how psyched out I get!

OK enough of that...

The 4 week pre-op diet is going better than I expected. For the 1st two days I really thought my stomach was going to eat its self, I felt dizzy and sick it was terrible. The third day however it was a lot easier, I no longer felt dizzy and the monster in my stomach started to quiet down. The fourth day was no problem, it was a routine  now and I felt great. Since I started this diet on June 20th as of yesterday the 27th I lost 15.8 lbs but all together since Jan 3, I have lost 43.2 lbs. I am already noticing the loose skin but whatever I would rather have that than the fat weighing me down like an anchor instead I'll take the sails LOL! I told my friend Becky that I might end up like a sugar glider in the end! We got a good little giggle out of that.

Well I just got distracted and can't continue so you all have a great week.