MegWaz

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 So I am officially part of the loser's bench, had my RNY last Monday, June 4th!  I feel like it is time to record some of that experience so I can look back on it sometime in the future and not forget where I came from.  Also, if what I write resonates with anyone in a helpful way I will be very pleased.

The days and months leading up to surgery were not my best...I had actually gained weight that I lost the previous year back.  I quit smoking last summer to prepare for surgery and to become healthier for it (my surgeon is a huge stickler about it for which I am grateful)  I also last suppered to beat the band...partially cause of the cigarettes and partly because I was mourning my relationship with food...not healthy I know but that is what I did.

I chose RNY because I know that I need the possible discipline/consequences of dumping, even if they don't happen, I am sufficiently worried about it.  I have dieted on and off my whole life like most everyone else here and all that has happened is that I regain what I lost and it brings friends.  I am tired of it, I want and deserve better.

The morning of surgery I was bizarrely calm, being that I am naturally anxious, I found this to be a blessing.  My mom took me to the hospital and I was taken in pretty quickly.  I have very difficult veins so the first snag was trying to get an IV in...normally this would have been too much for me but for some reason I was able to get through it all (I was not given any sort of relaxing drugs because they do it all in the pre-op area...had to sign for anesthesia and they want you to be of sound mind)  Anyway once I got into the OR...I don't remember the point I went out and it seemed like seconds later I was waking up in the post op area, hours later!

My immediate thought was "OMG what the hell did I do...I am an idiot, this is crazy"  Thankfully I was expecting this just not so fast...the feeling didn't last long...I was determined to do everything they told me so I could leave the hospital asap.  I could feel the pressure in my guts and I was surprisingly able to walk with the assistance of the nurses a few minutes after I came to.  The first night in the hospital passed fast...great meds made the time fly and the pain button that you can push every few minutes really kept the pain in check.  I felt like a pincushion...they checked my blood sugar every 4 hours, drew blood everyday, I got shots in my IV for anti nauseau and to coat your stomach.  They wanted me up and walking every hour, which I tried to do but I also was tired and slept through some of those hours...walking itself doesn't hurt...it was my fear that I would rip anything in my guts 

I went to stay with my mom for a couple of days because my boyfriend was working, surprisingly, every day gets better!  I can bend more, walk more and even eat more!  It is very difficult to get enough water and protein those first few days.!

 I finally completed all of the pre-op testing and have a surgery date scheduled for 6/4/2012.  I can't wait and yet I am also a little nervous.  I have spent most of my life as a fat person and now I am embarking on this journey to change all of that.  I want to be healthier and more active and honestly.  I don't ever remember feeling like I wasn't the "heavy" one.  I want to know what it is like to be on the other side.

I quit smoking, I have been attending the support groups, went to see the nut, had a psych eval and met with the surgeon.  My paperwork just got submitted for approval through my insurance company.  I am waiting to hear some good news.  My employer told us that we may have some insurance changes with the new year so of course I am now praying that I get the surgery done before the new year...I feel good about this but I don't want to be too confident until I am approved