August 23, 2005 Well, I have been thinking about this for a couple of years now. I wanted to see if I could lose weight on my own. I did. About 56 pounds! For the past 8 months though, I have not been able to make the scale budge. I went into my primary care physician on base and let him know how I was feeling and the reasons that have brought me to make my decision on having surgery. He said that he would write me a consult. I was happy but yet I kept on thinking to myself, " I know I have a big butt but I honestly didn't think that it was so big that he would agree to give my the consult" So in other words, I don't feel as big as I really am. I do know that I want to be on this earth for a long time. So here I am. The approval from Tricare took about a week. I was so excited. But when I called to make an appointment with the doctor they had picked for me. It turns out he didn't do the surgery. I have been making call after call with Tricare and my PCM and today it was all rectified. Sometimes that happens. So now I am here. On this website. I have teared up a couple of times while looking around on this website. I guess it is a bit of fear of the unknown. I have never had any type of surgery before, and I think that is what I am most concerned about. Well that and my recovery time and when can I get back to work. I don't want to feel useless, I like working and being able to take care of my family. I know that this will make not only my home life better, but I also know work will be better as well. I go in for the seminar on the 16th of September. And all this waiting is going to kill me. I am the type of person that when I make a decision to do something, that is when I kick it into full gear and do what it takes to get the job done. So, if there are people out there reading this.....pray for me to have patience, lol.

June 30th 2006
I wanted to let everyone know that I had my surgery on Monday. All went well. I am still a bit sore but every day gets a little better.

What I don't understand is how well I am doing. I am not bragging, infact, I am beginning to think something is wrong. When I first woke u from surgery, I was eating ice chips with no problem. When I got back to my room, I instantly got up and started walking. The nurses kept on giving me looks and smiling. One of them asked if I had a high tolerance to pain because she had never seen someone sit up and walk so soon after getting into their room. I was given all I could eat ice chips and believe me I had alot. My mouth was so dry. On the second day I was up at 530 am walking the halls I would tell the nurses I was going cross country jogging and when I got back I would appreciate a cheesburger! lol even went to the gift shop for my "shopping spree" I tried to make the most of it. Did I get tired, yes....Did I hurt, I was always uncomfortable. Could I tolerate foods oh heck yes, have not had one problem.

I got home on Wednesday and I am going a bit stir crazy. Doing my walks. watching the most tv I have in my life!!!!! Had enough of that though. My doctor doesn't want me to drive for another week and a half so I can't go putting around downtown. Work has been great, well the people at my job are like family. I have gotten calls and texts of well wishing and I have even gotten a couple from my clients, that was pretty cool.

So far I have had clear broths, sf jello, flavored instant grits, sf pudding, clam chowder that I put in the blender, and broccoli and cheese soup. I have put put fresh ground pepper, and minced garlic in these soups and haven't had a problem. Can't wait till I get to the soft foods stage though!

Well I hope everyone is doing well. And always always remember life is what You make it, so don't give up no matter how tough the struggle is.

July 4th 2006

Happy 4th of July everyone! You know, it is just amazing how good I feel today. My walking is 30 mins twice a day and I am shopping as well. Can't wait until I can drive again. I tried a new recipe today called dreamy seafood salad from the book, WLS for Dummies. Very good and had no problems keeping it down. Oh my goodness, I just had a "wow" moment, I was just playing with my wedding ring and it is so loose on me now! I don't know how much weight I have lost, I am waiting to weigh in on the 12th on my 1st post op check up. Well I am going to get going, my oldest son should be home any moment from Christian football camp. Can't wait, I miss him.

July 19, 2006

It is 630 am right now. The kids are still asleep. I am enjoying this time. Sipping on my coffee with a scoop of protein in it. It was a good night, I have actually slept well. The past few nights have been so terrible. I know mu wonderful husband has been worried about me. In the same period of time, my tummy has been a bit upset. But today is a brand new day. And since I slept well, I am thinking my tummy will be good. I had my first post op appointment last wednesday. Everything is going well and I have lost 12 lbs. I haven't weighed myself since then so I am sure I have lost a bit more. Maybe I will weigh myself today at the gym. My husband and I have been walking at night in between 730 and 8. He has been so supportive, I truely am blessed! We have been exploring different routes here on the base and have been walking 2 miles a night. It takes us 35 mins.....I think that is pretty good.

July 23, 2006

Well, the past few days I have been fighting exhaustion. And today I was very crabby. I had no patience. My husband got the brunt of it. He is such a wonderful person, but his parents did not teach him table manners and that is a huge pet peeve of mine. My sleeping is very poor right now. I have been told that it will pass in time but I need to get this sorted out soon. Tomarrow I will be 4 weeks post op. I haven't weighed myself since my two week post op check but I know I have lost. I started out at 246 and at my two week I was 234. I am going to reserve my weighing to every two weeks from now on. I went for my walk tonight a bit late. It has been so darn hot that you have to wait. So I went out at 10 pm. I even jogged part of the way....haven't done that in a long time. It just didn't feel very comfortable with all the fat hanging off of me. I know I am rambling right now, but I am not going to change any of this entry because hopefully it will help another person. I know that I read alot of peoples profiles especially in the beginning.


July 24th 2006

Just a quick note I weighed myself today and I am 226 and 37.6 bmi

July 27th 2006

Going back to work today! I am ready. They only thing that I worry about is how the hack am I going to get in all of my nutrition in? Being in auto sales is not an easy job. Long hours and it is stressful. I have been doing it for awhile now so I don't let that get to me. I go back in about 3 1/2 hours.

In other news, I called my nutririonist yesterday because of my ongoing sleep problems. She said that I am not getting enough calories and wants me to increase my carbs and fat so my calories go up to 900. Right now I am at about 630 a day. This is going to be a struggle. Never thought I would ever here the day that I am not eating enough, lol! She said that it should help me and that it is common to have these sleep problems 4 to 6 weeks out. It eventually goes away though. I am hoping it will be soon.

12 August 2006

Well, I have been back to work for 2 weeks now. I know my personality has changed a bit and to be honest with you it was for the worse. Where I work, it is a big family. We work very long hours and spend alot of time together. I came back and expected everyone else to change for me. I had no patience or tolerance for anything. That all came to a halt yesterday. My big boss called me into his office and asked me if I was ok. Now my boss, he is a big control freak. I abruptly said I was fine. He said that since I have come back my attitude has been very poor. I told him that I just have no tolerance for bull#$%!. All I wanted to do was to do my job and go home. Well we went back and forth for awhile and I finally told him that I would keep my attitude in check and walked out. After that I kept to myself. Making some phone calls in a back office and thinking. I realised that who am I to think that on any level that people should change for me. I needed to look at myself and that is what I did. So, I took one of my other bosses aside and apologised. I told him that I am having a hard time adjusting and that I was very sorry. He was very appreciative and thanked me. I did the same thing to my other boss. With my big boss, he had already went home so I called him on his cell. I think it was better anyway because I really didn't want to cry in front of him like I did with the other two. You know, I still don't like working deals with him, and I think he is a totalitarian, and I really didn't like his tone when he talked to me, but he was right. I apoligised. He said that it meant alot to him.

So I have turned over a new leaf, and learned how much wls can change you psychologically. Good and/or bad. I was lucky. I have a good, albeit dysfunctional family that smacked me upside the head and said smarten up AND they still care.

I will be getting ready for work soon, and going in with a smile on my face.

16 August 2006

This is my theory after the first part of this week. I am part of a big automotive group and we have a blow out sale once a year at the convention center. The forecast 1200 cars in 6 days and 8000 people comming in. It is a madhouse. Our hours are very long during this. I have been working from 730 am to 10 or 11 at night going nonstop literally, I sit down for a total of a half hour. My nutrition has been terrible and my protein has been half of what I should have. Yes I know I should take care of myself first but time just flies and I didn't realise. Plus, it is not good to eat infront of customers. I have twice in the past two days, not fun. And then on top of that, I didn't get anything sold....God that feels terrible. One man wanted to argue with me on the prices of cars he wasn't interested in and insisted on walking past every single car in the rain. We have 1500 cars on site. After all of this he then said that he wasn't really interested in a car. He just wanted the free gift. You know, I will help someone for as long as it takes, but that is wrong. I guess I am ranting a bit it just gets frustrating that some people can be so inconsiderate.

August 23, 2006

We had a huge car sale at work, very huge. We sold 957 cars in 6 days and I ran my booty all over the place. Now I can't tell you how many times I had to run the 2 flights of stairs to do an appraisal on a clients trade. And guess what? I wasn't out of breath AND my knees didn't hurt! That was so nice. Now I need to get really serious about the gym and lifting weights again to build my strength back. Have lost a nice little chunk since the surgery.

August 27th 2006
My birthday was actually yesterday but we celebrated today. My DH took me to the store and told me to pick out any Dooney purse that I wanted! This is the same man that has asked me every time I get a new Dooney or a pair of shoes, why do I need so many? So this was a total shock. But he did say it after I went underware shopping. I am addicted to it now. When I was preop, I had a hard time feeling good enough about my body. I honestly don't know how much weight I have lost, but I do know that I have gone down three sizes since wls 9 weeks ago and it feels great. So now I am a big fan of lacy/pretty things which in turn makes me feel pretty. Just floating on cloud 9 right now.

You know, it was a short time ago that I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would like myself truely on the inside. And now I do. My marrage suffered because of it, but it all worked out because I pulled my head out of you know where. Once I started taking steps to better myself, not only wls, but it was way before that, little steps......It was amazing how everything fell into place. We moved to Tucson which we fell in love with and will retire here. The kids are happy and thriving. Marrage has only gotten better and better. And I have an amazing job with a huge salary increase from my last. And I am so greatful for everything. I have love, family, happiness, and financial security. It is a great day.

5 September 2006LOL! I have noticed that the mass is comming off of me. I still refuse to weigh myself, but I do know that I have gone from a size 22 to a 14 in what, 10 weeks now? I am thrilled. I notice that I pay a bit more attention to how I look and my hair and makeup. And I am sooooooo addicted to pretty underwear now. Walking tall, smiling more and noticing alot more doors being held open for me. . Also, my sales have increased since I have been back! Wow!!!!! And of course my wonderful husband is smiling alot more now a days , lol! Look at me, I am even laughing more while I am writing posts!. The world is being looked at through different eyes now, and I feel reborn with so much energy and enthusiasm! This is even better than what I thought it was going to be. Because of the work involved. Preop, you know it isn't going to be easy and it is definatly a life change. But for me, I couldn't really comprehend it until I was actualy going through the process as a fresh post op. It is alot to go through physically and mentally but oh my god so worth it. What a great ride! What is next? Hmmmmmmm the possibilities are endless now!

Thanks to all of you, my family for hanging in there with me through the good the bad and the ugly. If it wasn't for all of you, all of the kindness, the journey wouldn't have been as smooth.



12 September 06

Need to vent. I am a car salesman and love what I do and take great pride in helping people. I just wish that people would believe me when I tell them things. But of course we have that stigma of being silver tongued. I work so hard for people and they turn around and use your information that you spend so much time and energy on to get an extra couple hundred dollar better deal from your competitor. why not just ask? where is loyalty? It doesn't bother me that I lost a sale, it bothers me that I keep on getting used. I tell the truth, so why is it so difficult for the customer? I am probably not even making any sense right now, but just so tired of this. Help me out here guys, what would you look for in a salesman, and why are so many cards held to your chest and why, if you liked the salesman wouldn't you give that person a chance? I just don't understand.

 26 Oct 06

Wow, where does the time go?  Shame on me or not posting sooner.  Things are going good.  Last week I was scoped.  They had to stretch out my throat because it was closing up on me.  It sounds alot worse than it really was.  So I am doing better.  Feels good to be able to eat again and not get sick.  It has been such an amazing journey.  You learn so much about yourself and others.  I am so greatful.  The only thing that I don't enjoy very much is that I am getting the hanging skin stuff.  And my breasts, well those suckers look like they were taken out to pasture and shot.  Thank god the good Lord made plastic surgary, lol!  My brain is still trying to catch up with my body as far as the size comprehension is concerned but it is getting there.  I even had somebody the other day tell me that I must work out begcause I look fit.  Nice little ego boost there, that is for sure.

27 November 06

It is almost 6 in the morning.  I am sitting here sipping on my coffee and reflecting on the day to come, and in life in general.  Sounds like my oldest son just got up to get ready for school.  I can't believe that he will be 16 on the 28th of next month.  Boy time has truely flown.  It has been a busy couple of weeks with moving into another house on base here.  My husband and I had to move ourselves and it was not fun.  I have bruises all over me.  Looks like I have been taken to a back alley and beaten up.  So it will be long sleeves for me till they heal.  I need to slow down.  This is one of the things that I am reflecting on.  I have so much that I do in a day that I never enjoy what is going on in the here and now.  It is always about what is next.  So I think I am going to really work on that. 

 You know, this journey has been wonderful, but very tough.  I have gone through so many highs and lows.  Trying to adjust to being "normal"  after being big for so long.  Most of the time I am happy, I would say 98% of the time.  But for that other 2% I am trying to fight off the mentality that I am still very large.  And that I don't deserve to be treated as an equal.  I have had alot of people come to me and ask so many questions about my journey.  I have no problem talking about it.  Hopefully I can help in some way.

 

About Me
Tucson, AZ
Location
25.8
BMI
RNY
Surgery
06/26/2006
Surgery Date
Aug 23, 2005
Member Since

Friends 54

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