Climbing Back On The Wagon

May 19, 2014

I am slowly, but surely doing what I need to do to get back on a successful track. 

 

I went to see my PCP yesterday, whom I have bragged about before.  I truly love this man.  I was really embarassed to go in and see him.  I have gained 30 pounds since last year and a few years ago I picked up the nasty habit of smoking once again.  I knew that I needed to get some Chantix to kick the habit and maybe some kind of appetite suppressent to kick-start my weightloss.  Darn constant hunger.  ARGH.  The hunger issues are the only reason I miss my band. 

 

My doc was willing to help me with both issues, but more than that, he really took the time to speak to my heart.  He addressed the fact that I came in saying, "I am slipping....I have been bad...".  He told me, "That is a very immature way of addressing yourself. We tell children and even teenagers that they are bad or their behavior is bad....but especially as an adult, we should never talk to ourselves that way.  You are HERE.  You are trying to do something about your health issues.  You have found smoking and eating to be a reward.  Now, it's time to find another way to reward yourself.  We all need rewards." 

 

We also talked about my dad passing.  He knew of the tumultuous relationship I had with my father.  So, when we are about ready to part, my doc added, "Melanie, you don't have to please your father anymore....you can't.  You don't have to make your husband happy, or your doctor happy....you have to make YOU happy!". 

 

That book I have been reading really emphasizes this point.  You have to love yourself, find ways to reward yourself and also make time for yourself.  The book really shows you techniques to forgive yourself for missteps, and to stop the negative talk and learn to tell yourself how much you love and appreciate, YOU.

 

So, my doc just really endorsed everything I have been working my way to.  I haven't started all of the techniques in the book yet.  Some of it is my own procrastination, and part of it is that I am working on it with my best friend, and she has been too busy to get started. 

 

Going to see my doc was a giant first step for me.  I tend to hide my head in the sand and pretend that everything is okay, or it will get better on it's own.  By addressing some of the issues that I need to tackle, I am empowering myself to be where I want to be.  I have an incredible life with my husband and good friends.  I would like to reward myself by looking my best, and feeling my best.  With God's grace, I will be around for many years to come. 

 

 

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About Me
Rio Rancho, NM
Location
31.0
BMI
VSG
Surgery
04/03/2012
Surgery Date
Jun 26, 2007
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