M. Groth
Updates
Sep 10, 2007
9/10/07: It's been about 10 months since I last posted. Alot has been happening since last year. I've been staying pretty consistent with my weight for the last year. It's been holding at about 148 lbs. This last 6 months have been rather.....exciting, to say the least. We've spent about 6 weeks total in Joplin, MO, this summer because we'll be moving there by the end of next summer. My in-laws purchased a couple pieces of property that we've been working on cleaning up lately. Eventually we'll be building a place within the next couple years. I've spent alot of time searching for grants in order to start up the arts center I've always dreamed of having. My mind is still stuffed full of all the things that must be done before I even apply for a grant! Time marches on...
The boys are growing faster than I can believe. My oldest is 16 now and taller than me (I'm 5'9" and he's 5'11"). Our youngest will be 12 in a couple of weeks and still seems older than his tender years. They grow up too fast...
Well, I'm not sure when I'll write again, but to those of you who know me...know that I'm out there enjoying life and making the most it. A big round of hugs to everyone and don't be afraid of what the future holds. That light at the end of the tunnel is getting closer and brighter every day.
11/07/06: Wow! It's been 4 years since my surgery. I can't believe it. Time flies by so quickly now. I've discovered that my body chooses to flipflop between 143-147lbs. I don't like the low end but the higher end feels more comfortable. I've been able to do things that I'd never considered before. This past summer we went on a 3 wk vacation to the Smokie Mtns, Orlando (Universal Studios/Cocoa Beach/Kennedy Space Center), Benton AR (1 1/2 wks with friends at diamond and crystal mines, go carts, mini golf), St Louis MO (had to see the Arch and I actually went up inside and looked out at 610ft in the air), Chicago IL (Institute of Art), and Wisconsin Dells (Great Wolf Lodge and the water parks). After that, the rest of the summer was spent at our camper, cleaning up fallen trees, relaxing in the hammock, falling asleep to the owls and coyotes at night and waking up to woodpeckers and other birds. Halloween was a blast this year, I was a spook in a coffin lol. 6 wks to build the haunted house from scratch and 2 days to tear it all down. Even made the newspaper with our annual Watermelon Fest parade float (dead pirate ship lol) as well as the leading Halloween attraction. I've also attended several internet e-commerce workshops and training sessions to get my business fired up for selling on the 'net. So that's my life in a lil nutshell at the moment. Gotta run to my 4 year checkup and all that jazz so I'll see all of you wonderful people later!
5/31/05: Tomorrow I go to see the neurologist. I'm nervous and curious at the same time. I just want this to get over with. The tingling has spread to my feet and occasionally to my face. *sigh* I'm trying not to think the worst, but my mom always did call me a worrywart for a good reason. LOL It also appears that I'm still losing very slowly. I'm down another couple of pounds. My size 8's no longer pinch my hipbones but feel comfortable. Hmmm...I'm going to try not to worry about that either. I haven't had much of an appetite lately and have been extremely active so it's prolly because of that. I had a great Memorial weekend. Spent some well-deserved time with my grandparents on Sunday, but for the most part worked all weekend (advertised for my job). I have to work the next 5 weekends too. Then I'm off for a whole week of camping for the 4th of July with my family. We're going up north to no man's land and just enjoying nature, peace and quiet, fishing, campfires, s'mores with sugar free fixin's, loons, wolves (YIKES), frogs and crickets, poison sumac and sweat bees that attack you, ummmm and a hugsband and kids that likes to collect really big rocks (I'm talking like over several hundred pounds). Sounds like heaven on earth to me...can't come soon enough to make me happy. Hope y'all have a wonderful day!
5/11/05: I see it's been a couple of months since my last update. Wow! Time really does fly. I've lost another 4 pounds and am below my goal weight of 156 and am sitting at 152. That's 175 pounds lost from my highest and exactly half of my weight lost since my surgery date. As far as other updates on me: my arthritis isn't too bad today, I'm taking 100mg of Seroquel at night to help me sleep, 50mg of Topomax twice a day for migraines, I'm having tingling in my fingers and palms of my hands (which could either be related to the migraines, a pinched nerve or peripheral neuropathy -- vitamin B1 deficiency) that I'll get checked out with a neurologist on June 1st....let's see, any good news....oh yeah! I started my own business and have registered my business name with the state of Minnesota -- JMAC Art Works. It's my art studio. I'm focusing on selling my abstract oil paintings and metal sculptures. In fact, I already have two clients, both with pretty large customer bases. One client has already purchased 5 paintings for its waitstaff and the other client has commissioned several line and charcoal drawings of antique automobiles. It's a wonderful feeling to know that my education is paying off, so to speak. It's one of my dreams being fulfilled. And it's helping to pay off my "new" used car (1998 Kia Sportage). It fits my new body, my personality, and my lifestyle. I've also been helping my hubby John with his business for the past three weeks. He and his brother haul scrap metal and junk vehicles and farm equipment to the salvage yards in the summer and I help them with this during my free time. Well, I've got to admit that it's an awesome way to build the muscles in my arms and thighs! WOWEE! So my exercise has been great, but my vits and water intake has been sketchy at best. I'm trying to work on that but there are times when I just plain forget. The water thing reminds me when my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. Yuck! My vit labs aren't looking so hot either. The protein intake has been good though. That has been pretty much a no-brainer....when I have an appetite. *sigh* I don't know if it's just all the activity that I've been doing lately or what, but I just don't feel like eating or anything...I sometimes feel like I have to force myself and then I feel miserable afterwards. And then during the times when I am hungry, I either put way too much food on my plate (the "eyes are bigger than the pouch" syndrome) or I actually eat most of what I put on my plate and feel like a disgusting pig for eating the amount of food that I did. I'm so confused...I don't know if I should worry about it or not. I don't know if it's something that is even worth worrying about. I just don't know...*sigh* Well, one of my three cats are trying to crawl into my lap and the crazy weather is cranking up my headache, so I think I'll end my update for now. Hope everyone reading this is having a good day! Love and hugs!
3/2/05: Just maintaining now...trying to get a hold of my various issues: i.e. osteoarthritis of my left knee, thyroid issues, menopausal symptoms, and insomnia...*sigh* Plus I'm trying to go through everything in storage and get rid of stuff that is not needed anymore...seems to be the story of my life now...yes, I'm feeling really depressed today. It's a bad one...I hope everyone else is feeling better than me today...hugs...
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2/4/05: I see it's been a couple of weeks since my last update! Wow, time flies when you're having fun! I've been spending the better part of the last two weeks getting my little painting studio re-arranged again after adding all of my stuff that was stored at school. Boy, did I have a lot of work to do! I had to go buy a new shelving unit for all of my art mags and gesso buckets, canvas rolls, and other miscellaneous art supplies and books. It's already almost overflowing with paraphenalia and I still don't have as much moving-around space that I'd like to have to work on my really big canvases. Oh well...I'm hoping to move my studio into the sunroom this summer which has three times the amount of space....but I'll be going from north-facing privacy of my backyard to glorious south-facing street and park view....that's another bonus to the other room....as far as my health has been concerned, well, I'm still being troubled by bouts of what I think might be reactive hypoglycemia. *sigh* I'm scheduled to have a med checkup with my PCP next week and I'm going to ask her for a script for testing supplies and a glucometer. I want to know for sure what's going on. The 25-50mg of Seroquel that I've been taking to help me sleep at night have been working wonderfully, however, if I don't take the meds, I'm lucky if I can sleep more than two hours each night. So it looks like I may be med-dependent for awhile. We'll see....I'm also wondering if weight-gain is a side effect of the Seroquel, as I've noticed that I've put on 4-5 lbs. I'm trying not to freak out about it, because it could just be water weight from my lymphedema, but I so badly want to stay where I am weight-wise that I want those few extra pounds to go away ASAP. I've begun to notice that my size 10 low-rise jeans are starting to feel a little uncomfortable and, unless it's just my imagination (which it probably is LOL), I'm getting a baby roll above the waistline that I didn't think was there before. It is probably just loose skin, but my mind likes to play tricks on me. Every now and then I catch myself looking down at my belly and imagining that I'm still fat and just dreaming about being thin. Sheesh! And then there are days when I feel absolutely gorgeous and my hubby really notices those days! LOL Today I was only wearing a pair of low-rise, button-fly flare-leg jeans, a red t-shirt, and a jean jacket (for Minnesota is experiencing 50 degree weather!) and had my below-shoulder-length blond hair pulled loosely into a knot with long wisps of hair escaping the knot to hang alongside my face. My hubby just about drooled on himself! LOL I LOVE it when he likes how I dress, even if I'm dressed down! Hehehe....it's times like that I love him the most! Well, it's time for me to head to bed, I think...I've rambled enough for one night and a canvas is calling my name in the morning...hugs to everyone reading this and congrats to all you newly post-op!
1/24/05: Wow! It's been awhile since I posted last. Lots of things have happened in the last couple of months. I graduated from Winona State University, with honors, with a B.A. in studio art. I just found out that I also made the Dean's List. And the last art exhibition that I've been in netted me two awards for one of my paintings. One was an Honorable Mention and the other was a Purchase Award ($450). So things have been going great here. Now I've got to get a few things done before supper...hugs to everyone!
11/23/04: I'm down another 3 pounds. I'm at 157 pounds now. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to end up as one of those that doesn't seem to stop losing weight. I hope not. Maybe it's just the added stress of worrying about my husband John and his upcoming hernia surgery. I know he will be okay and he is in great hands with Dr. Kothari, however, I also know that he's freaking out without wanting to talk to me about it to relieve some of his stress. He's never had any kind of surgery before and it's making him really nervous. I tell him that he'll be just fine, but you all know how some men can act. They think it's better to act like it doesn't bother them than to talk about it with their loved ones. Sheesh! Oh well, I love him anyway. :) Time to go get some work done on my upcoming graduation preparations. Only 24 days left until graduation! And my party is the next day. I'm so excited! G'night everyone and have an awesome Thanksgiving with your loved ones!
11/07/04: It's finally here! It's officially my two year anniversary from WLS. I can't believe that two years have gone by in a blink of an eye...two years ago I was morbidly obese at 304 lbs and now I am normal at 160 lbs. Two years ago I was being threatened with cholesterol-lowering medication and now even my docs are envious of my cholesterol numbers. Two years ago I was borderline diabetic with insulin shots in my future and now my blood sugar is very normal. Two years ago I barely had the energy to get out of bed every day and now I am the president of my college's art club, running here, there and everywhere, graduate from college with honors next month, create a minimum of 15 paintings a month, chase my kids around the house, and drive myself back and forth to school. Two years ago I had such poor self-esteem that it had affected my relationship with my husband as well as our non-existent sex life and now I feel so good about how I look and my energy level is through the roof that my husband claims that I am tiring him out with my sexual desire and want of it every day! LOL I am so blessed to have received this second chance at life that I want to make the most of it and live every day like it was my last in a good way. I'd also like to send out very special hugs to all of you that have stood by me and supported me throughout my journey, as I couldn't have done it without you. I love you all! Time to go celebrate!
11/05/04: Well, it's two days until my two year anniversary. I had my checkup with labwork today. My weight is in the normal BMI range, my body fat is 26.1% which is normal, my cholesterol is excellent. I have yet to hear how my B12 and my ferritin labs look but most everything else looked great. My white blood cells were a little higher than normal and my liver function was a little higher than normal too, but the doc didn't seem too worried about them. The higher WBC count is probably from the allergies I've been dealing with. I also discovered that my left kneecap has dislocated twice in the span of two weeks. I am now wearing a patellar brace and am going to physical therapy twice a week. If it's not better in four weeks, I'm looking at the possibility of meeting with a surgeon. Xrays have identified that I have shallow joint grooves where the patella (kneecap) is supposed to ride in. That's one main reason why it likes to try to pop out of place when I don't do anything more than stretch. OUCH! It's actually feeling better today and I've been doing my exercises religiously. I really don't want to have to go through another surgery but if it's necessary, then I guess I'll do it. *sigh* Graduation is coming up sooner than I'd expected it to. I still have so much to get done and since my knee has been out, I haven't had the ability to get the physical stuff done. I have 15 paintings and three large metal sculptures yet to do and I don't know where I'll find all the time I need to get them done. Oh well, I'll figure out something. Well, time to go finish making supper. I hope everyone is having a good day and will enjoy an awesome weekend! BYE!
10/14/04: So much has happened over the past....ummm....three weeks that it's no wonder that I haven't updated in awhile. I spent so much time getting paintings ready for the art festival last weekend that time just flew by and was gone before I knew it. One strange event happened to me last Saturday morning. I was supposed to get up at 5am to get set up for the festival and as I was stretching before getting out of bed, my left knee dislocated! Talk about weird! It took about 45 minutes for it to finally pop back into place, with a little, no, alot of help from a really hot shower. Now I have to go to physical therapy in order to strengthen my ligaments and muscles so that it doesn't happen again. Now when I walk up and down stairs, my knee tries to pop back out of place. *sigh* As if nothing else could happen to me. Now I also have to add vitamin E to my daily menopause meds (Zoloft and Wellbutrin). I've been prescribed 400mg 2x/day. The meds are really helping my mood swings but I'm still having hot flashes. SUCKS BIG TIME!!! Oh well....I'm at school right now and really should be paying attention to the art sale that I'm supposed to be babysitting right now. More updates later.....
9/26/04: Homecoming is over and Halloween is on its way! 5 weeks to go and I'm dealing with a hot flash from hell....Holy crap! And I am now down to my personal goal weight of 160 pounds. That means a total loss of 144 lbs from day of surgery and 161 lbs from my highest. Kewl! Well, I've got to go cool off....
9/21/04: I had my appointment today. Found out that with all of my symptoms of hot flashes, night sweats, lack of sleep, etc, I'm dealing with a full-blown case of menopause. At age 31...I also had some bloodwork run to try to rule out pernicious anemia, my hypothyroidism (T3 tests this time), and a few others that I can't remember off the top of my head right now. I am also scheduled for a forearm Dexascan tomorrow afternoon. I wanted the hip/spine one but at $310 and my age being so young, it was thought that my insurance wouldn't cover it, so I'm scheduled for the cheaper test which is $50. If it shows osteopenia, then I could get the more expensive test paid for by insurance. So we will see what comes up after tomorrow. As far as treatment of the hot flashes and night sweats, I was put on Effexor XR. Being that I have a history of major depressive disorder, we decided that we don't want to dump any more hormones in my face and potentially trigger a full-blown depressive episode. Makes perfect sense to me. I don't mind the drug, as long as it works. I have a follow-up appointment in three weeks to see how it's doing and if it needs to be tweaked. Now if only I can get a good night's sleep and a return to my sex drive, I'll be a happier camper...LOL. We discussed what may have triggered my menopause and have come to the conclusion that it was a lot of things. From stress at school and a hysterectomy 3 yrs ago, to my underactive thyroid and massive loss of weight in 22 months, it definitely is a combo slammer. Now I just have to make a conscious effort to take my meds and my vits and my calcium so that I don't compound the problem with any deficiencies. :) Time to go get some homework done and then head to bed early. I need sleep....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
9/19/04: Six weeks until Halloween on top of everything else going on....busy busy time. I'm heading to my gyn/nurse practioner/PCP (all the same person) on Tuesday to try to discover why I'm having severe night sweats, hot flashes, serious lack of sleep, etc. Personally, I think it's menopause, and hopefully we'll get me on something, HRT or something else. I'm tired of mood swings, being tired all the time, having to change my clothes because they are soaked with hot flash sweat, and tired of waking up 1-3 times each night because of night sweats and only averaging about 4-5 hours of sleep on account of it. With my extremely busy schedule that will only multiply with intensity over the next 8 weeks or so, I can't be dealing with it on a half-empty tank of sleep. I'm totally exhausted. And I imagine my thyroid has something to do with it too. When I go in to see the doc lady on Tuesday, I'm going to ask her to run a battery of blood tests over and above whatever she wants run to determine what's wrong with me. On the positive side, I'm now within 2-4 lbs (depending on what part of the day it is LOL) of my goal. I wanted to reach 160 lbs and this morning I weighed in at 162. However, right now, at 6:30pm, I'm at 165.5 and I absolutely know why. Since it's been so humid today, I've retained a couple of pounds of fluids in my lymphatic leg. By morning it will be gone again. I've retained as much as a 4 pound fluid difference and it was extremely noticeable in my lymphie leg. That wears me out too. Well, I'm going to go get some homework done and finish supper (grilled pork steak w/grilled pineapple rings and a little cheesy green beans on the side ---YUM). For the record, I'm down 142 lbs since surgery (22 months, 12 days) and 159 lbs from my highest weight of 321 lbs. I've went from a tight 26/28W pants & 3-4X shirt down to size 9-10 pants & S-M shirt at 5'9" tall. YIPPEE!!! G'night everybody!
9/9/04: It's been awhile since I've updated. School is back in session and I'm the busiest that I've ever been. Thankfully it's the last semester I have to deal with again. I graduate in December and then I'm a free woman again...well, at least free from school....well, maybe free from classes....ummmmm.....okay, dammit, I still have school loans to pay off. I think it's time to head to bed now...I'm not making any sense and I have my 3 1/2 month abdominoplasty check up tomorrow morning. I need to ask the doc about a strange pain that I'm having just below and to the right (as I look down at it) of the new belly button. Every time I sneeze (which, with my allergies, is frequent) or lift anything over 5 pounds, I get a sharp stabbing pain in that spot and then it just aches fiercely afterwards. I'm hoping it's nothing serious, but my abdomen seems slightly lopsided on that side too. Oh well...I'll find out tomorrow. G'night all!
7/29/04: Thankfully the flu is over with. It cost me about 7 pounds in 3 days, most of which was fluids probably. I guess that puts me at 14 pounds shy of my doc's "recommended" goal weight of 150. I weigh less now than I did when I met my husband when I was 17 years old (14 years ago). I'm glad the weight is still dropping, but what a way to lose it! Not a method I recommed at all! Oiy.......It's been three weeks and two days since my grandmother's passing and my subsequent argument with my mother. I haven't spoken to her since the fight. This afternoon a strange blue van pulled up into our driveway and delivered something. It was a single yellow rose, my mom's favorite color...attached to the rose was a card. It was from my mom asking if we could start over and that she loved me.....I haven't cried that hard since I was a little girl...I've decided to go see my mom when she gets off of work today...to start over again. This last three weeks have been really hard on me, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought about her...Despite everything, I love my mom very deeply and it really hurt me to not talk to her. Even while we were on our trip I thought about her constantly, making a point of picking up a gift for her for Christmas. She collects Dreamsicles and I found one in concrete that I'm going to paint for her as her Christmas gift. I sure have missed her......I hope things will work out this time...only time will tell.
7/26/04: Just got back from my 9-day vacation to Kentucky and Wisconsin Dells. Halfway thru the trip we found out that three of the five member of our group had developed the flu...within two-day increments. Great.....Now that we're home, last night I discovered that I have the diarhea version of the flu. I have avoided eating anything because I don't feel like vomiting. The diarhea has caused me to lose 5.5 pounds in 12 hours. I am worried about becoming dehydrated because of this. I've been trying to drink fluids to keep up with the fluid loss. I'm afraid that by the time this is over with, I'll have to head to the hospital for IV fluids.
Speaking of my vacation, we were shopping at a Super Walmart and I discovered the new size of Propel. It's a 1 liter, 33.9oz bottle. I found it in grape, kiwi-strawberry, and lemon. They were only 98 cents! I am hoping to find them up here, like at the new SuperWalmart that just opened last week in Onalaska, WI.
Well, I think it's time for me to go lie down and rest before the next bathroom run...(pun intended) Hugs to everyone reading this and I hope y'all are having a much better Monday than I am.
7/02/04: I've discovered that all of the stress I've been dealing with this week has caused me to lose about 6 pounds. I've been drinking everything I'm supposed to, but I haven't had much of an appetite. I've been getting in one protein shake of about 30gms of protein in the morning and don't end up eating a solid meal until late evening because I haven't had an appetite. My husband and kids have been getting their three meals a day plus snacks, but I just don't want to eat. I am thinking it's because of the grief I'm still feeling. I am hoping that the camping trip that we're taking the kids on this weekend as well as a trip to see my best friend of 25 years (haven't seen her in 6 years although we keep in touch regularly) may help me heal emotionally. It's funny...at just about 20 months post-op, I didn't think I was going to lose any more weight. I'm 17 pounds away from the doctor's suggested ideal weight of 150, although I don't think I'll look healthy at that weight. I don't want to be a twig...my butt is already bony enough according to my hubby. LOL I weigh one pound less than I did when I met my hubby when I was 17 years old as a junior in high school. I thought I was really skinny back then...especially when I look at pictures now. Research shows that the "average" woman is actually a size 12-14 instead of the tiny size 6-8 that the media quotes. I happen to be that "average" woman at size 12-14. I would have to guess that if I dropped another 17 pounds I'd probably be wearing at least a size 8-10. I don't think I care to get that far down. I, and my hubby, like just a little meat on my bones...it provides cushion, doncha know? LOL Well, I hope everyone has a safe and exciting 4th of July and don't get carried off by the mosquitoes...oh, wait a minute, I should be telling myself that...after all, the mosquito is Minnesota's state bird. *wink* G'night y'all and big hugs to every one of my readers....love y'all!
6/30/04: Looooong post on the way: My grandmother passed away yesterday morning...I was there for her passing and held her hand as she left us. I at least got to say goodbye even though she was in a coma at the time. I also asked for her forgiveness for not spending more time with her like I know I should have. I'd like to think she forgave me, but I'll never know for sure. On top of beating myself up for not spending more time with her, my mom had to give me a lecture on it and it seemed like she was going out of her way to make me feel like the biggest piece of sh*t on the planet because I didn't do my "duty as a granddaughter" and now I'll never have the chance again to make that mistake up. I told her that I already knew where I'd failed and I didn't need her telling me that after all I'd been through. I also told her that she was being inconsiderate and insensitive to be bringing up such a thing like that at that time. She thought it was just the right time to do it so that I could "learn from my mistakes" and make time in my life to see my family more often. She claimed that I am a very selfish person and on top of it I'm a terrible mother because I don't take my kids out to the park enough or on walks enough or...like she has room to talk...I know I'm venting, but I've got to get it out of my system or else it'll eat me alive. My mom told me last night, for the very first time, that she didn't want me to have the surgery and claims that she told me that before I had it done. I guess she wanted me to end up like my grandma who died yesterday after a lifetime of struggle with obesity and diabetes and in the end, kidney failure. She claims that she was afraid of serious complications or death occurring because of the WLS. If she'd been so damned concerned, maybe she should have visited me in the hospital to make sure I was okay. I've had three surgery (WLS and 2 PS's) in three years and she hasn't once thought to stop by to check on me in the hospital. So much for the concern, eh??? Damned hypocrite! Last night was my breaking point and I got alot of things off my chest while I was on the phone with her...it eventually got to the point where she was acting like some damned martyred saint of a mother and I was the hysterically grieving "child" and "why are you yelling at me if we are supposed to be having a conversation and I'm listening to you"...I tell you it could have about made me puke...I hung up on her instead. And if she thought that was rude and disrespectful to treat my mother that way, than dammit, maybe she should have thought of that before she started in on me in the first place. I absolutely REFUSE to apologize for what I said to her last night. I meant every word I said...the timing may have been wrong, but the "discussion" was just right. She is why I have self-esteem issues...she just can't have a conversation with me without constantly finding something to criticise me about. Usually I go talk to my dad about it but I didn't want him to get involved. It's my problem, and I'm dealing with it. And I should have "dealt" with it a long time ago but was too damned afraid of her and her opinion of me to do it sooner. She knows how to push every damned button I have and reduce me down to the little defenseless child that I used to be. I HATE that feeling! I'm 31 years old and have a family of my own to raise. All I told my dad was that she and I had a fight and I hung up on her. I did briefly mention that it was about not seeing Grandma enough, but that was as far as I went with it. Dad actually told me that I didn't hang up soon enough apparently (yes, they are divorced and both are remarried to others). He also said that she'll get over it. Okay, now I think I'm done venting. Now I can grieve. In helping that process, my DH and I are taking our kids camping this weekend as well as agate hunting in a rock quarry not far from where we're camping. We're also going to take them to visit a friend of mine next week up by the camping area and stay in a hotel with a pool for a couple of days. We plan on taking them to see Lake Superior and do more agate hunting on the rocky beaches of Two Harbors, MN. They really love camping and getting rocks and just spending outdoors time with us. I guess that means I'm a horrible mother because I'd rather take them camping than to the damn park...*sigh* Okay, I'm going to go now before I get wound up again...Love and peace to everyone who reads this....I hope y'all have an excellent 4th of July...I intend to have a peaceful and relaxing one. Love and hugs!
6/23/04: It's been 4 weeks since my abdominoplasty as of today. I still have some swelling on the front of my belly into the groin area but it's going down. It's still really weird seeing a basically flat tummy. I have seen one of those on me for about 14 years. *sniff* I never thought I'd ever see this day come. I am so lucky to be alive and basically healthy and have the ability to see my children grow up and have children of their own. I am so blessed to have the support system that I have. So blessed *sniff* :)
6/16/04: It's now been 3 weeks since I had my tummy tuck. I'm slowly getting my strength back and can do a little bit more every day. I've gotten to taking off my binder for a couple of hours each day in order to let my skin breathe for a little while. Boy, does it feel weird! Everything is healing up very nicely. I still have quite a bit of swelling just above the pubic area...no skin feeling there either. I'm not sure that's a good thing or a bad thing yet. LOL My belly above the button is nice and flat. I'm not used to that. I'm used to seeing a big flabby roll of skin. It makes me wonder if I'm looking at someone else's belly. To make matters worse, I spent 31 years of my life with an outie belly button...now I have an innie. The doc was tickled with my reaction over it. He said it's actually easier to make the innie so that's something else I have to get used to. I tried on a few of my new bikinis in anticipation for my three vacations in July and August. Boy oh boy oh boy! Even with the swelling, I feel INCREDIBLE! I am so happy with my belly's appearance in a two piece bathing suit that I was tempted to jump for joy....of course, my abs didn't like that idea! LOL Speaking of abs, they are still really sore. I expect they will be for awhile. The doc says that it'll take up to 3 months for the lipo'd swollen parts of me to go down. That's okay. They are getting better and better every day. My hubby asked him how flat my belly will be after the swelling is gone and the doc said it depends on how much underlying fat is left. I don't care about that. Even with the swelling and nifty scar in the making, my belly is beautiful! Scars are a reminder of where I came from, so I wear them proudly. :) I don't suppose many people view it like that, but I do. I really like my new figure. Clothes fit me so much better. I'll be glad when it doesn't hurt quite so much to wear low-riders...still some painful swelling on my hips...and it feels really really really weird to have my belly button area of my belly showing and not be able to have any skin sensation. I can feel pressure, but no feeling. I suppose that'll come back as the nerves grow back together..then again, maybe not. I'll live with it either way. I ran across some pics of my old fat days....and I look at myself in the mirror now....boy, what a difference. I don't get ill looking at myself in the mirror any more. I am so proud of my accomplishments. I have so much more self-esteem than in the past. I really love myself so much more now. It's affected every aspect of my life...from how I act around my friends and family, to how I act around my dear sweet husband. I feel more attractive and sexy around him now. LOL It's a very good thing! ;) Well, it's time to get some sleep now as it's 12:30am and I have to take my kids Father's Day shopping tomorrow for my hubby...plus get something for my dad and stepdad. I'll be busy! To all of you men out there that are dads or stepdads, THANK YOU! You have made a significant difference in someone's life. You should be proud of yourself. I know I am. :) Hugs to everyone out there reading this and take every moment in your life and live it to the fullest degree. I love y'all! G'night!
6/04/04: The other drain got pulled today. OMG did it HURT! I was prepared, or so I thought, for it to come out like the first one did....I was wrong! It caused me to yelp loudly in pain and I couldn't help the tears. The doc gave me some good-natured crap about scaring away his other patients but at the time I got very embarassed about the yelping. I didn't mean to. ;*( I realize now that he was only pulling my leg, but at the time it just made me cry harder because of embarassment. The nurse, Moe, she tried really hard to help calm me down and told me not to worry, no one could identify me by my yell. LOL I felt like I was going to crawl into a hole in shame. Oh well. I'll get over it...at least the damned drain is out! The doc said that it was early to have drains out as it's only been a week and a half. He was surprised that the output was so low so quickly. I guess I'm just a fast healer...or absorber. LOL Gotta go rest now. I'm totally wiped out from my morning experience and I want to be well-rested for Harry Potter tonight. :)
6/02/04: Well, here's an update. I got one drain pulled yesterday, the one that bothered me the most and still had 30cc of output. The doc decided to leave the other one in until Friday to see if it would drain some of the fluid collecting on the other side. Unfortunately, it isn't and is still producing only 10cc of drainage. That side of me is nearly gone with swelling. The side that the drain was removed is still really puffy and I can tell it still has fluid buildup. But it was absolute heaven to sleep last night. We went to bed around 1am and I slept soundly until 8am. I only took one pain pill just before falling asleep and didn't need another one until I got up this morning. Absolute heaven! Now, hopefully after Friday I can start sleeping in my own bed instead of on the couch. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'll update more later.
6/01/04: WOW! I can't believe that a whole week has gone by since I last updated! I came through my tummy tuck surgery on May 26th with flying colors. It took about 3 hours and I stayed in the hospital overnight and came home late Thursday evening. Apparently the surgery added about 11 pounds of swelling and fluids onto my body and to date I've lost 7 of those pounds. It'll be nice to know just what my final weight and size will be after all of the swelling is gone. It's been pretty painful to move around this last week and I still have the two drains in place. I have an appointment with the surgeon at 3:30pm today to hopefully get both drains out. The one drain is at only 10cc drainage and the other one is at 30cc. They are supposed to be at 30cc or below in order to come out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. The drain with the higher output has been extremely painful as my body keeps trying to push it out of my skin. The sutures keeping it in are causing the skin to become enflamed and very very sore. Come hell or high water, it's coming out TODAY. I had the option of getting it removed over the weekend because of the pain, but I tried really hard to let it stay in until today. I'm extremely exhausted from battling the pain and I'd really just like to have a pain-free amount of sleep time that is longer than two hours duration. I'm all out of pain meds (Lortab) and I really NEED some sleep, so IT'S COMING OUT!!! And I'll get a refill on the Lortab. I desperately want to start doing things on my own instead of having my hubby wait on me hand and foot (not that that's a bad thing at all!). Well, I guess I'm going to go crunch down on the couch (since I can *lie* down) and try to take a nap. I hope everyone is having a better day than me. :)
5/24/04: It looks like both day 4 and day 3 disappeared like a ghost at Halloween. LOL It's now two days before my tummy tuck and I am trying to remember to get all of my stuff ready ahead of time. I've got to make sure that everything is ready for my kids to stay Tuesday night at the in-laws house and that involves both clothes and meds and school time schedules since both kids have different times to get to school and come home. Then I need to get myself ready by getting an overnight case packed, make sure that the couch is all set up for my return, pillowcases on the new feather pillows, blankets, etc....laundry needs to be finished, the garden needs to be planted, the strawberry beds need to be weeded, the rose beds need to be prepped for the new Irish Creme rose bush that I just bought yesterday, I need to go visit both of my parents because I know they won't visit me in the hospital (Dad has to work late and Mom just hates hospitals -- it really hurts, but what can I do?), I'd like to try to visit my grandma too before Tuesday is over with. Oh yeah, I also need to get a dozen canvases double-primed so that they are all ready for me to work on when I am feeling up to it. I think I have too much to do and not enough time to do it in....oh well, if it doesn't get done, like the garden planted...I'll just have to have my hubby and kids do it for me...with my supervision of course! LOL Well, I guess I need to get running right now...got lots to do.....*sigh* And I'm still not fully awake yet....hmmmmm, interesting...LOL Hugs to all who read this and I hope y'all have a great day!
5/21/04: Day 6 flew away with the wind and now it's day 5. I can't believe how quickly time moves when you aren't looking. I spent most of my time yesterday outside helping my hubby load up a bunch of junk steel to take to the junkyard. Got quite a nice pink color to my arms. :) And now today, the same thing, only I get to do it in the rain. :( At least I won't get burned any more than I already have. And my hubby has become a bit anal and absolutely MUST leave RIGHT NOW! Getting on my nerves and it's only 9am....getting started early today. LOL Thank God it's Friday! WOOHOO!
5/19/04: #7 is nearly gone and #6 is creeping up in about an hour. I have been trying to keep busy so that I can keep my mind off of how quickly my surgery date is coming. Unfortunately, that also causes the time to fly by more quickly. *sigh* My emotional state has blown a fuse, I think. I have just got to snap out of this funk! I promised my hubby that I'd go help him pick up several loads of scrap steel to take to the junk yard tomorrow and Friday. Maybe some strenuous activity outside and a good night's sleep will do the trick. We'll see....this is getting annoying. On the plus side of it all, I've been getting alot done around the house and in my garden around the rain storms. Maybe that's what I need! A rip-roaring thunderstorm to get my spirits uplifted...wait, there's one on the radar now! LOL At least I still have my sense of humor. :) G'night!
5/18/04: 8 days and counting. I was doing some unpacking of boxes after having set up my painting studio today and found my journal from before my WLS. I sat down and started reading it and couldn't help but think of how I've changed since I wrote those words. Now I am going to have another surgery soon and some of those feelings are coming back to me. I ran across a poem written in my journal that I'm not sure where I got it from. The author is unknown. I thought I'd write it down here in this journal so that others can read it besides me. Yes, I'm in a depressed mood today, so the poem has special meaning for me. It's something that I found that I hope would have some comfort for my husband as well as all those I might leave behind.
"If Tomorrow Starts Without Me"
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you.
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand
And said my place was ready
In heaven far above
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye.
For all my life, I'd always thought
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left to do.
It seemed almost impossible
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays.
The good ones and the bad.
The thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for awhile,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did
My heart was full of sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you.
Today your life on earth is past
But here life starts anew."
"I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last.
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past."
"You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do."
"But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're tired.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share My life with me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.
--author unknown
5/17/04: I can't believe that 2 1/2 months have passed since my last update! My, how time flies, eh? Since my last posting, I'm feeling much better. It turned out that I wasn't getting enough carbs in my diet. I'd been on the Atkins thing with my husband. He's lost 35 pounds since February 1st. I, on the other hand, haven't lost a thing and that's when those goofy symptoms started up. My TSH levels are still showing in the normal range, which is extremely puzzling, and I still have problems with sleeping, dry skin, and cold hands/feet, but I just don't know. I celebrated my 18 month anniversary on the 7th. I can't believe it's been that long already. I had my checkup the week before that and got scheduled for my two year appointment in October. WOW! Two years??? Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday. I look back on the pictures of me just before surgery and I'm shocked at the person staring back at me. 14 years ago I weighed 168 pounds. I was 17 years old and a junior in high school. I am now 31 years old, a senior in college, and weigh 172 pounds. It almost seems like my life has come full circle and I wonder just what those 14 years have done to me. This is what I came up with: I met and married my soulmate; I gave birth to two beautiful sons; I graduated from high school; I battled severe depression and suicidal tendencies; I received treatment for said depression and have been meds-free for over 5 years; I gained 154 pounds of weight due to emotional/stressful eating; I watched my parents' marriage dissolve after being together for 19 years; I attended the weddings of both of my parents to extremely wonderful people; I had two cancer scares --one that led to a hysterectomy at the age of 27; I started college, not knowing just what I was going for; I declared my intention to graduate with an art degree; I found out I was prediabetic and hypothyroid; I embarked on a life-saving journey into weight loss; I have struggled with wondering if I was doing the right thing in trying to become an artist; I have been in 5 art shows with an arts festival coming this summer; I haven't sold one single piece of artwork; I started doubting my artistic abilities again; Everyone that owns my artwork is because I gave it as a gift (in-laws, parents, and friends); I have become a member of two honor societies at school because of an excellent GPA; I have served as the president of the Art Club for two years with one semester left of my "term"; I will be officially graduating with honors -- cum laude -- in the first week of December; I have lost a total of 149 pounds from my highest weight of 321; and in 9 days, I complete my body transformation by having an abdominoplasty. I'm sure I could think of more milestones than those I've listed, but even these make me sit back on my heels and re-evaluate how I feel about myself. It makes me realize that I'm a much stronger person than I thought I was. I guess I have a hard time giving myself credit for anything. I still seem to focus more on the negative than the positive, but I also realize that the negative helped make me who I am today. Despite a terrible childhood and various health issues, both mental and physical, I need to stop and give myself some credit, both as a human being, a mother, a wife, a good friend, and as an artist. I am learning, slowly, to take a compliment gracefully, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. I'm learning to take more risks with my art. I am learning to accept constructive criticism for what it's worth. I am learning to shrug off negative comments, although I still shed copious amounts of tears first, but I am working on it. And I think the most important thing that I am learning is to love myself, because if I can't love myself, I can't truly love others the way they deserve to be loved. I still have a lot to learn, but I'm working on it....I hope that, out of all the people that read this, at least one person can be inspired to be more than they thought they'd ever be and I encourage everyone to sit down and just think about the things that you've really accomplished in your life...believe it or not, it all adds up and it's all really important as it makes you who you are today, right now. For those of you reading this, I love you all and you've all made a serious impression in my life. Thank you for enriching my life.
3/03/04: Well, I'm starting to feel better finally after dealing with this weird illness or whatever it was I was battling. I still need to get my TSH levels and fluid levels rechecked though. I'm still puzzled as to how my TSH levels could be normal and I'm not on any meds. I hope to get put back on meds soon though because I think I'm still symptomatic of hypothyroidism. Dry skin, freezing hands and feet, extremely tired all the time....gotta get something taken care of. I think I'm going to head to bed now...gotta behave and do well on my midterm exams tomorrow and then Spring Break officially starts at 1:50pm tomorrow afternoon. Thank goodness I'll be home before the crappy weather starts. We're under a winter storm watch until Friday afternoon. Great! I'm so sick of winter! Why can't it be spring yet???
2/12/04: YAHOO! I just received insurance approval for my abdominoplasty yesterday! I was so excited and happy that I cried. I called the plastics department this afternoon and got my surgery date for May 26th. I made it for that day because I don't want to miss any time from school this semester. I only have one semester left before graduation and I'm trying to graduate with honors. Now if only I can figure out what is going wrong with my blood pressure...it's been really low for several days and I am scheduled to have a series of blood tests run tomorrow morning to try to figure out what's wrong. My primary doc says that she thinks it may have something to do with my underactive thyroid. She said today that my thyroid gland was a bit enlarged, so she's got a bunch of tests she wants done to find out conclusively what is happening with me. My resting blood pressure sits at around 87/53 and I feel groggy all the time. My activity blood pressure sits at around 118/73 and I nearly pass out. Hopefully I'll hear back from her within a week or so. Keepin' my fingers crossed. G'night folks!
2/04/04: This Saturday marks my 15 month anniversary for wls. I am now 10 pounds from my goal. The day of surgery I weighed in at 304 pounds and I'm now 175 pounds. I was 321 at my highest recorded weight. That means a total loss since surgery of 129 pounds and 146 pounds from my highest. Wow! I can't believe that much weight is gone. I still catch myself sometimes thinking that this is all a dream and I'll wake up fat, sick, and unhappy. Thankfully, those thoughts don't come to me very often. I am hoping to get down to 165 pounds before my 18 month checkup on April 29th. I know that's almost three months away, but the weight comes off very slowly now so it's a hope anyway. Well, time to go get ready for school. I've got a long day ahead of me. Class from 9am to 9:30pm. It makes for an exhausting day. Talk to y'all later.
1/14/04: I've survived the 3 month checkup with Dr. Martin. He says that everything is healing fine. I spoke to him about an abdominoplasty and he felt that it would be in my best interests to have one done to rid me of all the disgusting loose skin on my belly. It's so bad above my bellybutton that it flaps over my bellybutton and causes the most horribly disgusting and painful rashes. I've seen a couple of medical professionals about it over the last several months and have been told to treat the rashes with everything from paper towels between the folds of skin to baby powder to antifungal cream. Nothing works and the rashes come every couple of weeks and last 7-10 days at a time. Now Dr. Martin is getting the paperwork necessary together to send to my insurance to see if they will cover the procedure. If they don't, he's quoted me $1000 for what he feels I need done. I was told that there would be an overnight hospital stay and drains in for about a week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my insurance will cover this due to the fact that it's a result of the gastric bypass surgery that they'd covered in the first place. After everything they've paid out for me, I don't see where $1000 would be a big deal. :) I'm hoping that this'll be the last surgery that I'll have to have in relation to weight loss. I'm okay with the rest of the flabby skin on my body. The arms don't bother me much, at least, not enough to get something done about them and I know the insurance wouldn't cover that. Even the wrinklyness of my inner thighs don't bother me too much. As a matter of fact, with the exception of the belly flubber, I'm pretty damned pleased with how everything is going. I have my health and my life back and I never thought that would be possible a couple of years ago. Now that I've got it, I don't know why I waited so long! LOL I have come to learn that there is a time and place for everything, and this was my time and my place. I feel better and feel better about myself than I have in a very long time....even though my joints crack and pop. I don't blame them after all that stress I put them through. Apparently it's payback time LOL. Well, time to head off to school. It's a long day ahead of me...till 9:30 tonight.
01/07/04: It's hard to believe that only 14 months ago I was 304 pounds. Now I'm 178 pounds. I almost weigh what I did in high school 12 years ago. Wow! I'm still shocked. 126 pounds gone forever -- 143 pounds from my highest weight of 321. My hubby says that he got his high school sweetheart back...including how short my hair is! I weighed 168 when we met and my hair was short (although, thanks to his bright idea and coloring skills, right now it's also burgundy black!). It's amazing what 12 years and two kids will do to a body. And I struggled for years before that with an overly negative parent that absolutely hated it when I did any exercise like bike riding or jogging because she felt that it was unladylike to sweat. If I could roll my eyes in computer type, I would. And then I'd get nagged at for putting my hands in my front pants pockets because "it makes you look FAT." Well, I know the true meaning of fat and back then, that wasn't it. Yes, you could say that I'm still hurting from those comments and I haven't learned to deal with them yet, but I'm trying. That's part of my New Year's resolution this time...to become a better, less-critical person and to try to love myself as I am. I know it's going to take a lot of work, but I think I'm up to the challenge. After all, I don't have to make a weight-loss resolution anymore! LOL Time to go for now....talkatcha all later! Love and peace in the new year!
12/23/03: Twas two nights before Christmas and all through the house, all of the creatures were stirring, even a mouse! Well, I hope not a mouse or else my two cats aren't doing the jobs they were designed for....oh wait a minute....they were designed to be spoiled rotten and sleep on every comfortable surface in the house, including my side of the bed and my stomach! What do I look like, a pillow??? LOL I can't believe it's been a month and a half since I last updated. I've been so busy that it's a wonder that I can even catch my breath. And that's a good thing! The semester is out until mid-January and the holidays approach. We have three different locations in two states to go to tomorrow, Thursday and Friday. I'm going to get real sick of sitting in a vehicle on my duff for several hours really quick. I'm thankful, however, to do it because it just means that I have lots of loving family to visit and they haven't seen me since last Christmas. I'm gonna drop some jaws this year! LOLOL Seriously, I'm hoping that this is the last round of shock factor that I'm going to have to deal out....I'm starting to get tired of the oooooohs and aaaaahs that I get when people see my skinny self now. I almost feel embarassed just like I did when I was fat, if you understand what I mean. My husband has even realized that it's starting to make me feel uncomfortable when people ask about my weight but I haven't found a graceful way of letting people know that it's bothering me. Oh well....I'll just live with it. I have a 3 month checkup with Dr. Martin (my plastic surgeon) in January and I'm going to ask him about setting me up for a tummy tuck in May. I want to wait until then so that I'm done with classes for that semester and I will have all summer to recuperate. I'm hoping that my insurance will love me just one last time and approve me for the surgery. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. It's the last surgery I hope to ever have, if I'm lucky. Right now I'm in the intensely itchy stages of healing from my reduction surgery. The crease of my right breast itches enough to drive me insane right where I can feel all of the stitch knots through my skin. It's enough to drive anyone insane! I try really hard not to itch and I put lots of lotion on so I don't think it's from dry skin, but who knows? I'm not a doctor so I'm not sure why it's doing it. Another one of those things I guess I'll live with. I've also discovered that there is a section of my ribcage on my right side that seems to be especially tender to the touch, like a bruise only there isn't any discoloration. I'll be asking Dr. Martin about that when I see him next. Well, time to head back to Christmas wrapping. Thank god that it's almost done! Happy Holidays!
11/07/03: It is my one year anniversary today! I am down 122 pounds and only two pounds away from my personal goal. That's a whole person! WOOHOO! Doing a happy dance for myself! It makes me happy that I CAN dance now without pain or becoming out of breath after only a couple of minutes. I went dancing on Halloween and it was incredible! I'm so proud of myself and all I've been able to accomplish to date. This was the best thing I could've ever done for myself. Sometimes it's a good thing to be selfish! *wink* Well, gotta go get ready for class...gonna go rummaging around in a junkyard for steel afterwards for my sculpture project....just thinking about having the energy and strength to do that just tickles me! LOL Later folks!
11/05/03: It's just two days until my one year anniversary....wow, I can't believe that a whole year has gone by already. It totally blows my mind. I never would have thought I'd be at this stage in my life after only a year's time. I'm now down to 184 pounds -- that's a total loss of 120 pounds. I'm only 4 pounds away from my personal goal of 180 pounds. I'm healthy, happy, more energetic, nearly pain-free (still a little sore in the rib and breast crease area from the reduction surgery), and finally able to enjoy life more. This was the very best thing that I've done for myself. I've always been known to be the one to give, give, give of myself to everyone around me...now I've finally given to myself the best gift of all...LIFE. For once it was okay to be a little selfish and even then, it wasn't me I was doing it for, although the health benefits are wonderful. I did it for my husband and my kids...I wanted them to have their wife and mother and friend with them for a long, long time. It's added years to my life and took alot of stress off of me, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. I feel very good about how I look, even the wrinklies, cuz it's a part of me. I finally feel more attractive for my husband (not that he ever complained before) and that makes me feel wonderful when I can see the attraction in his eyes. I feel like a caterpiller that has finally metamorphosed into a beautiful butterfly. I finally feel free of the life I once lived in the cocoon of fat. I'm no longer sheltered by that fat, but I have learned to be more resilient to life and go with the flow and have learned to have fun and not be afraid of living anymore...I have finally learned to love.....ME.
10/20/03: Just checking in this morning. I've dropped 4 pounds since surgery...that's almost a pound a day. I'm now only 8 pounds from my personal goal of 180. I haven't been this weight since midway through my pregnancy with my oldest son! I just realized that yesterday as my mom asked me how far down in weight loss I am now. 116 pounds! Gone forever! I was able to have some of my stitches taken out this morning. These were the ones that were covering the gauze that was stitched to my skin. Boy, what a shock to see what was under the gauze!! I panicked slightly until Dr. Martin said that my nipples were supposed to look like that until they healed completely. He said it was perfectly normal and healthy.....still a shock though! And it was the very first time I've ever had stitches taken out...a bit uncomfortable, that was. I have to go in on Friday morning to have the rest taken out. Made me feel a little queasy...but now I can go take a shower! YIPPEE!! It sounds absolutely heavenly! Gotta run!
10/16/03: Here it is, the day after my surgery. I went in at 7:30 yesterday morning and got prepped for surgery. I didn't actually see the OR until 10am. Was in the recovery room by noon and out the door by 3:30pm with a home arrival time of 4pm. I pretty much slept on and off the rest of yesterday and much of today too. I have to take painkillers (Lortab) 1-2 every 4 hours to keep up with the pain. One makes it tolerable, two puts me out. It's made me a little nauseous if I don't eat anything with it and I have a horrendous headache but otherwise I'm okay. There was alot of drainage on the underside of my left breast throughout most of yesterday, but today there hasn't been much at all. There's so much gauze and dressings underneath the surgical bra that I can't really tell what they look like now. And of course I've already been on the scale and duh, because of the added weight of the dressings and such there isn't one single pound gone. That surprised me at first until I thought about the extra weight of the dressings, surgical bra, and swelling. Well, time to go lie back down. Getting a little woozy...
10/14/03: It's the day before my bilateral breast mammoplasty. I'm definitely more nervous now than I was when I had my WLS. I don't understand why, but oh well. It'll happen and it'll be over with tomorrow afternoon. I don't have a time yet for when the surgery will be tomorrow but I hope it'll be right away in the morning. Today I go for my pre-op stuff. I'll get pre-registered and all that jazz. Gotta get marked, too. It'll kinda be a cross between connect-the-dots and pin the tail on the donkey. LOL I've sent emails to almost all of my professors at school to remind them that they won't be seeing me for the next two weeks. It seems like I've been having all of my surgeries in the fall lately. This year, it's the boob job. Last year it was the WLS. The year before that it was a hysterectomy. The year before that it was a bone spur and a cyst removed from my ankle. Four years before that, it was my gallbladder removal and a tubal ligation. Always in the fall. Coincedence? Maybe....LOL Oh well, at least one of my favorite holidays is in the fall...HALLOWEEN!! Yippee! Well, gotta run....lotsa things to do before I leave for La Crosse in a couple of hours. Later!
10/02/03: Well, less than two weeks to go and it can't come soon enough. I've been in so much pain lately from both my back and my breasts that I'm not nervous about the surgery anymore. If I could do it tomorrow morning I would....it was so bad a couple of days ago that I missed classes because of it. I'm trying my damnedest to stay away from the painkillers because I know that the amount I'd have to take wouldn't be the greatest for me. The Tylenol just wasn't cutting it anymore and ibuprofen makes me retain water (yes, I know, I'm not supposed to, but it made me feel better until I gained 5 pounds of water weight) and I'm not sure that I want to try anything stronger because I need to be functioning as I have some major tests coming up before surgery. So I try to grin and bear it. On the plus side, I am only 10 pounds away from a personal goal of 180 pounds. That puts me at a loss of 114 pounds. Yes, that does make me very happy to have that weight gone forever. And I know that I'll lose a few more pounds after the reduction surgery so that'll bring me one step closer to goal. My personal goal is to reach 180 but I think it's written in my chart for a goal of ar
